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FREE PDF Version The Black Ball www.blackballbook.com by Mind Map: FREE PDF Version  The Black Ball www.blackballbook.com

1. Not Taking a Stand for What's Right

1.1. Remaining silent when you witness abuses

1.2. Not encouraging people to express their differing views

2. Only taking action in a group, not as an individual

3. Acceptance

3.1. Poor Choices

3.1.1. Relationships

3.1.2. Careers

3.1.3. Finances

3.1.4. Health

3.2. Unsafe Situations

3.2.1. Drunk driving

3.2.2. Placing self in harm

3.2.3. Drug addictions

3.3. Mental Wellness

3.3.1. Depression

3.3.2. Social disorders

3.3.3. Food addictions

3.4. Scars

3.4.1. Suicide attemps

3.4.2. Cutting

3.4.3. Accidents

3.4.4. Emotional

3.4.5. Surgeries

4. Accountability

4.1. Decisions

4.1.1. Thinking only with the mind

4.1.2. Short term ease over long term gain

4.2. Non-action

4.2.1. Not owning up to mistakes

4.2.2. Keeping quiet when you have something to say

4.2.3. Devaluing your worth/intelligence (work, home socially)

4.3. Hurtful words

4.3.1. Apologizing when necessary

4.3.2. Granting forgiveness when necessary

4.3.3. Taking your frustration out on others

4.3.4. Targeting vulnerable people (weaker than you, children etc)

4.4. Hurtful actions

4.4.1. Screaming at others

4.4.2. Blaming others

4.4.3. Hurting yourself physically

4.4.4. Downgrading yourself emotionally

4.4.5. Placing yourself in physical or emotional danger

5. Achievement

5.1. Lack of effort

5.1.1. Expecting you are entitled to what you want

5.1.2. Wanting results without putting in effort (work, relationships)

5.1.3. Acting like you don't care

5.1.4. Disregarding others achievements

5.2. Jealousy

5.2.1. Coveting someone else's life

5.2.2. Talking poorly about those who have more than you

5.2.3. Eager for other peoples’ collapse or demise

5.2.4. Bragging that you are more in finance and career than you are

5.2.5. Bragging that your relationship is more than what it is

5.3. Sabatage

5.3.1. Not giving good efforts consistently

5.3.2. Not trying because you already see failure

5.3.3. Deliberately making someone else look bad

5.3.4. Doing something to ruin your own opportunity (low self-worth related)

6. Belonging

6.1. Treatment to Others

6.1.1. Bullying

6.1.2. Harassing

6.1.3. Condescending

6.1.4. Lying and false praise

6.1.5. Shifting your needs to an expectation for someone else to fulfill

6.2. Treatment to Self

6.2.1. Hurt yourself mentally and physically

6.2.2. Change diet to fit into a certain group

6.2.3. Not be authentic to self to belong somewhere else

6.2.4. Afraid to show your genuine self

6.2.5. Lying to emulate others’ expectations of you

7. Competitiveness

7.1. Dirty Moves

7.1.1. Cheating to win

7.1.2. Drawing attention to others wrongdoings

7.1.3. Sabotaging others

7.2. Self-Centeredness

7.2.1. Control freak

7.2.2. Always making sure you’re in the spotlight

7.2.3. Taking all the credit

7.2.4. Not inviting others in to opportunities (sports, work, self-growth, etc.)

7.3. Deceitfulness

7.3.1. False caring for personal gain

7.3.2. Misrepresentation of information

7.3.3. Deliberate actions to harm another

8. Conformity

8.1. Pretending to be Someone Else

8.1.1. Losing self-identity

8.1.2. Participating in behaviors that are contrary to values

8.1.3. Feeling fitting in means more than being your authentic self

8.2. Forcing Others to Conform to You

8.2.1. Not accepting others for who they are

8.2.2. Limiting growth by surrounding yourself with like-mindedness

8.2.3. Being inconsiderate to opposing viewpoints and opinions

8.3. Ego-driven

8.3.1. Keeping up with the Joneses syndrome

8.3.2. It’s #1 or you’re done

8.4. Deliberately Antagonise

8.4.1. Force yourself to act out in order to stand out

8.4.2. Argue just to argue

8.4.3. Heckle and insult those who are not like you

9. Conviction

9.1. Poor Moral Compass

9.1.1. Don’t stick to what you stand for

9.1.2. Make choices based on emotions, not considering after effects

9.1.3. Acting like you don’t care just to hide how much you do care

9.2. Not Adhering to Values

9.2.1. Taking actions contrary to what you really want

9.2.2. Letting fear dictate your choices

9.2.3. Giving others passes with topics that are high value to you

9.3. My Way or the Highway Attitude

9.3.1. Leaving no room for compromise with peers

9.3.2. Leaving no room for discussion with family

9.3.3. Humiliating and degrading those who feel differently than you

10. Correctness

10.1. Conceit

10.1.1. Never admit flaws

10.1.2. Quick to blame others

10.1.3. Having a “me” for the victory, “we” for the solution attitude

10.2. Condescending Acts

10.2.1. Thinking lesser of others due to education

10.2.2. Assuming people are lazy when they don’t adhere to your standards

10.3. Beat yourself up for mistakes you would easily forgive others for

10.4. Overly Self-Critical

10.4.1. Smother yourself in a demand for perfectionism

10.4.2. Act like you have nothing to offer

11. Courage

11.1. Guilt Over Flee Instinct

11.1.1. Knowing you’ve walked away when you should have stayed

11.1.2. Remaining quiet when you feared the results of speaking your truth

12. Dependability

12.1. Promises Kept

12.1.1. Follow-through failures with work

12.1.2. Follow-through failures with relationships

12.2. Self Dependability

12.2.1. Not adhering to goals you set

12.2.2. Missing out on events because of addiction issues

12.2.3. Giving yourself no expectations for success

13. Dependency

13.1. Addictions

13.1.1. Drugs

13.1.2. Alcoho

13.1.3. Food

13.2. On Others

13.2.1. Putting up with bad treatment out of fear

13.2.2. Allowing yourself to be manipulated

13.2.3. Desperation to please others

14. Emotions

14.1. Poor Self-Esteem

14.1.1. Embrace the negative qualities people bestow upon you

14.1.1.1. Reject positive attributes people bestow upon you

14.2. Anger

14.2.1. At yourself for feeling like a “loser”

14.2.2. At others for holding you back

14.2.3. At your life situation

14.3. Disconnected

14.3.1. No one else cares, so why try

14.3.2. No one understands me

14.3.3. Coping mechanisms

15. Endurance

15.1. Quit Easily

15.1.1. At goals

15.1.2. In relationships

15.1.3. At jobs due to lack of satisfaction

15.2. Poor Health Choices

15.2.1. Eating or drinking foods that make you ill

15.2.2. Turning your back to hard work to make good changes

15.2.3. Finding comfort in unhealthy things

15.3. Flight Instinct

15.3.1. Hurt them before they hurt you in a relationship

15.3.2. Expect your “doom’s day” to come

15.3.3. Have a fight and then take flight

15.3.4. Growing angry with others for addressing their emotions

15.3.5. Diverting situations to cast blame to others

16. Enjoyment

16.1. Lingering Guilt

16.1.1. Sabotaging your happiness because you don’t feel worthy

16.1.2. Creating financial strain by material obsession

16.1.3. Never fully enjoying life because Black Balls weigh you down

16.1.3.1. You didn’t earn it so you shouldn’t enjoy it

16.2. Feelings of Not Being Worthy

16.2.1. Your friends and family deserve better than you

16.2.2. Disconnected from your life’s “why”

17. Envy

17.1. Casting Blame

17.1.1. Using “if only I’d…” as an excuse

17.1.2. Saying others made you fail

17.1.3. Too ashamed to look in the mirror

17.1.4. Your environment

17.1.5. Your upbringing

17.2. Outlashing

17.2.1. Being angry at everyone to cover your sadness

17.2.2. Flying off the handle in a rage easily

17.2.3. Hoping someone’s new relationship flops

17.2.4. Hoping someone’s new job sucks

17.3. Manipulation

17.3.1. Preying on others weaknesses to get your way

17.3.2. Lying or exaggerating to gain false sympathy

17.3.3. Placing your joy as an expectation of others to fulfill

18. Family

18.1. Mental Abuse

18.1.1. Yelling, not talking

18.1.2. Negative words

18.1.3. No effort

18.1.4. No feelings of security

18.1.5. No self-forgiveness

18.1.6. No forgiveness of abuser

18.2. Physical Abuse

18.2.1. Escalated situations

18.2.2. Scars

18.2.2.1. Lying to others about what happened

18.2.3. Bruises

18.2.4. Broken bones

18.2.5. Will not forgive abuser

18.3. Sexual Abuse

18.3.1. Feeling bad if it felt good

18.3.2. Will not forgive self

18.3.3. Fear of talking

18.3.4. Not wanting to be judged

18.3.5. Lying to others to keep it secret

18.3.6. Lack of forgiveness to yourself

18.3.7. Lack of forgiveness to your abuser

18.4. Poverty

18.4.1. Embarrassment for parents’ struggles

18.4.2. Embarrassment for your own struggles

18.4.3. Feeling you will always be in poverty

18.4.4. Not daring to dream big out of fear

18.4.5. Not taking big actions out of fear

18.5. Lack of Love

18.5.1. Not sure why your parents had you

18.5.2. Don’t add up to siblings achievements

18.5.3. Not the “favorite” child

19. Fear

19.1. Not Speaking up

19.1.1. Self-preservation is more important than your voice

19.1.2. Not sharing good ideas out of fear of rejection

19.1.3. Feeling you don’t have a voice worth hearing

19.2. Embarrassment over Actions

19.2.1. Being around co-workers/family when you’ve lost control

19.2.2. Losing composure due to influence of drugs/alcohol

19.2.3. Sharing feelings that were not returned

19.2.4. Lashing out at others for not agreeing with you

19.3. Guilt from harm Done to others

19.3.1. Injuring another intentionally

19.3.2. Injuring another unintentionally

19.3.3. Saying words that damaged a relationship

19.3.4. Contributing to someone else’s problems/challenges

20. Fitness

20.1. Lack of Self-Care

20.1.1. Claiming no time

20.1.2. Not wanting to admit the work you need to do

20.2. Lack of Love

20.2.1. Feeling good may not bring you happiness

20.2.2. Achieving a fitness goal may not change your life

20.2.3. You don’t deserve to feel great about yourself

20.3. Desiring to be Unseen (Insecurities)

20.3.1. Hiding behind vices (food/drugs/ alcohol) so you’re not attractive

20.3.2. Fearful of interaction with others

21. Freedom

21.1. Incarceration

21.1.1. Embarrassment

21.1.2. Fear of rejection

21.1.3. Fierce privacy

21.2. Life Impacted by Someone Else's Incarceration

21.2.1. Parents not there

21.2.2. Spouse serving time

21.2.3. Children getting into trouble

21.3. Financial Freedom

21.3.1. Poor financial management

21.3.2. Lack of “experiences”

21.3.3. Struggling to make it paycheck to paycheck

21.4. Emotional Freedom

21.4.1. Allowing others to define your value

21.4.2. Not forgiving others

21.4.3. Not forgiving yourself

21.5. Time Freedom

21.5.1. Staying busy to avoid dealing with issues

21.5.2. Having to work unusually long hours to pay bills

21.5.3. Poor time management

21.5.4. Addiction to TV and electronic devices

22. Friendship

22.1. Betrayal

22.1.1. Wronging someone else

22.1.2. Someone else wronging you

22.1.3. Stepping back from helping friend in need even if it was for your own good

22.1.4. Stepping away from helping a friend because you just didn’t want to

22.2. Distrust

22.2.1. Setting others up for failure

22.2.2. Setting yourself up for failure

22.3. Poor Choices

22.3.1. Not surrounding yourself with success

22.3.2. Placing yourself in a non-stimulating environment

22.3.3. Relapsing into old habits when you have a bad day

23. Harmony

23.1. Drama

23.1.1. Start it

23.1.2. Embrace it

23.1.3. Fuel it

23.2. Attention

23.2.1. If you’re happy everyone can be happy

23.2.2. Not seeking personal harmony to make someone else happy

23.2.3. Bossing people around

23.3. False testimony

23.3.1. Saying “I’m fine,” when you are not

23.3.2. Passing up on opportunities to talk from the heart and mind

23.3.3. Lying to someone else to make them feel better

24. Honesty

24.1. Lying to Yourself

24.1.1. Pretending things are okay

24.1.2. Saying you’ll wake up and start an addiction-free life

24.1.3. Denying your own emotional and mental needs

24.1.4. Refusing needed help

24.2. Lying to Others

24.2.1. Not admitting struggles when asked

24.2.2. Pretending to be in control

24.3. Loss Through Dishonesty

24.3.1. Pushing people away

24.3.2. Denying when caught in a lie

24.3.3. Blaming others for your shortcomings until they leave

25. Integrity

25.1. Trustworthyness

25.1.1. Others trusting you

25.1.2. Your trust for others

25.2. Sticking to Commitments

25.2.1. Reliability

25.2.2. Courage

25.2.3. Confidence

25.3. Best Interests

25.3.1. Best choices over easy choices

25.3.2. Honesty over lies

25.3.3. Hard work over cutting corners

26. Intuitiveness

26.1. Lack of Trust in Own Instincts

26.1.1. Relationships

26.1.2. Common sense daily situations

26.1.3. Struggle to accept what’s good for the long-term

26.2. Ignoring Instincts

26.2.1. Dangerous situations

26.2.2. Broken heart

26.2.3. Bad relationships

26.2.4. Wrong job choices

27. Manipulation

27.1. Forcing Outcomes

27.1.1. Loved ones

27.1.2. Friends

27.1.3. Family

27.1.4. Professional peers

27.2. Hurting Others

27.2.1. Words

27.2.2. Actions

27.2.3. Decisions

27.3. Hurting Yourself

27.3.1. Putting off necessary self-work

27.3.2. Increasing expectations on others

28. Marriage/Relationship

28.1. Infidelity

28.1.1. Before marriage

28.1.2. During marriage

28.1.3. Secrets and lies

28.2. Sexual Addiction

28.2.1. Shame

28.2.2. Compulsion

28.2.3. Hiding it

28.2.4. Secrets and lies

28.3. Feelings of Lack

28.3.1. With relationship

28.3.2. In marriage

28.3.3. With self

28.4. Communication

28.4.1. Failed communication on your end

28.4.2. No communication

28.4.3. Arguments

28.4.4. Not sure about so much responsibility

28.4.5. Defensive conversations

28.5. Doubts

28.5.1. Not meant to be married

28.5.2. Not meant to be a parent

28.6. Extreme Dependency

28.6.1. Feeling your life is over if your relationship is

28.6.2. Putting up with poor treatment for financial stability

28.6.3. Remaining with someone because it’s better than being alone

28.7. Parenting

28.7.1. Overly protective

28.7.2. Compensating

28.7.3. Wrong choice

28.7.4. Overwhelming

29. Parenting

29.1. Abandonment

29.1.1. Not present parent

29.1.2. Never knew parent

29.1.3. Adoption

29.2. Abusive

29.2.1. The abuser

29.2.2. The abused

29.3. Personal Demons

29.3.1. Finding fulfillment through kids

29.3.2. Being what your parents weren’t to you

29.3.3. Not looking at kids as individuals, but as property

29.4. Insecurity

29.4.1. Will I mess them up?

29.4.2. Am I doing the right thing?

29.4.3. What if they make a mistake?

30. Power

30.1. Use of Power

30.1.1. Manipulation

30.1.2. Control

30.1.3. Gaining power

30.2. Out of Control

30.2.1. Desperation to have power

30.2.2. Surrendering all power and not caring

31. Sacrifice

31.1. Martyr Complex

31.1.1. You can only rely on you

31.1.2. Trying to do it all and expecting appreciation for it

31.1.3. Hyper-focus on all you do

31.2. Feeling Unappreciated

31.2.1. Putting self-worth on what you do

31.2.2. Feeling the world owes you because of what you do

31.2.3. Willing to accept false appreciation from people because you made them feel bad

32. Sexuality

32.1. Sexually Addicted

32.1.1. Shame

32.1.2. Excitement

32.1.3. Lack of contro

32.2. Diseases

32.2.1. Have had STDs

32.2.2. Have given others STDs

32.3. Gender Confusions

32.3.1. Desires to be the other sex

32.3.2. Feeling inadequate when compared to other women or men

32.4. Sexual Orientation Confusion

32.4.1. Born the wrong sex

32.4.2. Embarrassment

32.4.3. Bottled up emotions

32.4.4. Unhealthy releases

32.5. Experimentation

32.5.1. Uncertainty

32.5.2. Held back desire

32.5.3. Unhealthy ideas

32.5.4. Embarrassment

32.6. Sterility

32.6.1. Conceiving issues

32.6.2. Feeling inadequate

32.6.3. Lack of pleasure

32.7. Self Worth

32.7.1. Seeking instant gratification

32.7.2. Not thinking you’re a valued treasure

32.7.3. Putting yourself in situations you are not comfortable with

32.7.4. Releasing guilt from sexual assault

32.7.5. Releasing guilt of abortion

32.7.6. Releasing guilt from rape

32.8. Unhealthy Cravings

32.8.1. Wanting illegal sexual acts

32.8.2. Pornography addiction

32.8.3. Sex addiction

33. Spirituality

33.1. Faith

33.1.1. Afraid to think of more

33.1.2. Desires to see, not just believe

33.1.3. Wanting the contentment others have

33.1.4. Lashing out at the thought of a higher power

33.1.5. Intensive efforts to not have faith

33.2. Lack of Belief in Anything

33.2.1. God or higher powers are cruel

33.2.2. Coping with hurt

33.2.3. Dealing with loss

33.2.4. Focusing anger on no higher power

33.3. Not Feeling Presence of Higher Power

33.3.1. Unknown purpose

33.3.2. Lacking passion and drive

33.3.3. No inspiration in the world around you

33.3.4. Too much bad happens, not enough good

34. Success

34.1. Self-Evaluation

34.1.1. Poor attempts

34.1.2. Laziness

34.1.3. Always overlooked

34.2. Compare and Contrast

34.2.1. Not as good as others

34.2.2. Under appreciated

34.3. Getting a "Raw Deal"

34.3.1. The world is against you

34.3.2. Expectations without action

34.3.3. Discrimination

34.3.4. Discrediting your skills

34.3.5. Define success by others

35. Trust

35.1. In Yourself

35.1.1. Bad choices

35.1.2. Prolonged suffering

35.1.3. Inability to say “no”

35.2. In Others

35.2.1. More than yourself

35.2.2. Never

35.2.3. Makes you too vulnerable

35.3. In Systems

35.3.1. Lack of control

35.3.2. Works for others, not for you

35.3.3. Confining

36. Wealth

36.1. Mindset

36.1.1. Lacking

36.1.2. False abundance

36.1.3. Unhealthy

36.2. Self-Worth

36.2.1. Low

36.2.2. Undervalued

36.3. Materialism

36.3.1. Long for despite not fulfilling

36.3.2. Cling to

36.3.3. Sacrifice in other areas to have

36.4. Compulsive Behaviours

36.4.1. Gambling

36.4.2. Sex

36.4.3. No control over finances