the third week of may

1. home

1.1. food

1.1.1. I'll keep going in this cycle of not wanting to eat

1.1.2. I'll lose more weight

1.1.3. I'll relapse on my anxiety around eating food at home and out & about

1.2. it won't be a sanctuary

1.3. it'll feel more like a hermit hole

1.4. I won't grow as an individual

1.5. dad will continue to be challenging

2. jason

2.1. him visiting

2.2. not being in my own routine

2.3. feeling the pressure of being host

2.4. just having him at home is triggering, and I feel anxiety around that

3. work

3.1. bike trip

3.1.1. not being in shape

3.1.2. stupid children

3.1.3. anxiety attacks on the trip

3.1.4. not eating enough food on the trip

3.1.5. not having fun

3.2. bike trip prep

3.2.1. the same as above

3.3. summer

3.3.1. having fun

3.3.2. making money

3.3.3. jason visiting/me visiting jason

3.4. garden coordinator

3.4.1. I will have more responsibilities than I want or can handle

3.4.2. it won't be fun

3.4.3. I won't get paid

3.4.4. the people I'll work with will be stupid or mean

3.4.5. I'll be a disappointment

4. therapy

4.1. my new therapist won't be good

4.2. I'll waste more time going over things that I've already talked about

4.3. I won't make progress in therapy surrounding new/old triggers

4.4. meds

4.4.1. I've been taking them so long they'll stop working

4.4.2. joe won't be helpful or supportive

4.4.3. I'll be steered down a bad path