1. Couples define who they are using
1.1. private understandings
1.2. rules
1.3. meanings
2. Culture of relationships:
2.1. Then - a respecting, trusting and long lasting relationship
2.2. Now - a short lived physical lust for one another
3. But now, researchers have suggests it could even prove fatal. U.S. researchers believe that an unhappy relationship can cause stress which, in turn, affects physical health. They believe people who are unhappy with their spouse could be at higher risk of depression, high blood pressure and even heart disease.
4. Difference in background... unrealistic expectations... inequality within the relationship and different interests... incompatibility. (Causes)
5. Men rely on their fathers to teach them how to treat women but because more and more fathers have become absent in their sons lives they have not been taught how they should treat women with love and respect but instead they think it’s ok to disrespect women and treat them however they want.
6. Relationships THEN vs NOW
6.1. PAST
6.1.1. Relationships were made from the roots of the ancient courtships, the medieval chivalry, and the Victorian formality. People had a monogamous relationship which gave them self respect as well as the ability to respect each other.
6.1.1.1. Family’s arranged marriages between their children for the benefit of the family. Tribes used to make a peace transaction by marrying off the chief’s daughters to another chief’s sons for the greater good of the tribes.
6.1.1.1.1. Family values back then were a strong foundation for a relationship and the upkeep of a household... see how family was everything and how men and women needed one another to survive.
6.2. TODAY
6.2.1. Most relationships based on a physical attraction rather than personality. Unlike in the past, Sociologist Andrew Cherlin, the Chairman of the Sociology Department argued, the goal of many modern relationships is self-gratification.
6.2.1.1. As a result of the media up rise men and women have lost the acceptance of themselves today. As a consequence of not taking relationships more seriously in our civilization we have more broken households, toxic relationships, weak self esteem and a loss of respect towards those involved in the relationship and with that this is the result of the compliancy to divorce.
6.2.1.1.1. Women have low self esteem because society tells them they must look a certain way and act a certain way in order to be loved by men and because of this women let men treat them however they want with the outlook that it’s ok to treat them this way cause their not good enough for society.
6.2.2. Toxic Relationships?
6.2.2.1. Many relationships are rushed (Lack of patience) that are ignited by strong physical attraction/lust break due to the -
6.2.2.2. Most people have the belief that only they are right. It is a trend that's visible globally ... this belief comes into existence along with independence as the dependence on the man to provide is no more.
6.2.2.3. Social stigma attached to a divorcee is no longer as strong as it used to be. So people are just very easygoing and don't mind having a divorce because they wont be looked down upon.
6.2.2.4. In India the divorce rates are extremely low... This is because many people who want to file a divorce don't do it or are hesitant for a very long time cause they are worried about what the society will say and they don't want to tarnish their reputation.
7. PROBLEMS
7.1. Disconnected nature we've inculcated over the course of time as technology has become a major part of our lives.
7.2. Depression is a major problem that occurs from this mess of bad relationships.
8. The site Psychology Today has an article called ‘Lust vs Love: Do You Know the Difference?’ and in this article it states, “Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy — it often dissipates when the “real person” surfaces…. However, real love, not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each other.” This is a great explanation on how modern or today’s relationship are made from more lust than love then in the past.
9. Who is a sugar daddy?
9.1. a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favours. Its one of the superficial relationships that exists nowadays and the number keeps increasing.
9.2. In 2006, entrepreneur Brandon Wade launched SeekingArrangement.com in order to serve as a sort of digital matchmaker. The site now has 3 million users worldwide — and its numbers are growing, with SeekingArrangement reporting a 33% increase in Sugar Daddy membership and a 54% increase in Sugar Baby users since 2015.
10. Distinguishing line between men and women doesn't exist anymore cause women aren't dependent on men to survive anymore...
11. Is social media making us "social beings" more social?
11.1. It might seem like it but actually its not, we are losing parts of us that make unique:
11.1.1. Ability to converse
11.1.2. Ability to interact
11.1.3. Ability to connect in groups
11.2. Now more than ever, one can see people struggle in normal day to day conversation.
11.3. It might be easier to connect with someone through the phone, but is that a real connection? A text cannot depict or show an emotion as much as one can express it while speaking. "Actions speak louder than words", right!
12. We've gone too far down the digital rabbit hole and focus so much on our online life that we never look up from our screens to focus on what's right in front of us -- our lives.
13. "Technology was supposed to connect us but we're more disconnected than ever." Rogette Harris.
14. Communication is hard. It takes empathy, focus and conscious effort to give friends the attention they need.
14.1. The reason relationships are mediocre to bad is because one hasn't learned enough about communication.
15. What is a prenuptial agreement? Is it a sign of a superficial relationships?
15.1. an agreement made by a couple before they marry concerning the ownership of their respective assets should the marriage fail.
15.1.1. Prenuptial agreements have been considered taboo, but the millennials are changing that reputation.
15.1.2. According to a recent study conducted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), 62% of divorce attorneys surveyed reported an increase in the total number of clients requesting prenuptial agreements in recent years.