How have come to This?

1. No matter how much I tried it never really abated the intrusians.

2. I have been given a telling of my future that I will end as a transgender. From multiple sources thus negating any real possibility of escape

3. I dont want to keep going until I have no money and are extemely messed pyschologically and end doing something I will really regret.

3.1. If i leave now and hide I might be able to avoid succubimg to total degregation