1. The Final Milestone!
2. Means of Expression
2.1. Denial
2.2. Projection
2.3. Integration
2.4. Transmutation
3. This is where we store the things the ego rejects and aspects we feel have been repressed, disowned, suppressed and overall been disapproved of. Embarrassing situation, insecurities, fears, wants that are ‘immoral’, taboos
4. 'What we resist, persists, embrace it & it will dissolve'
5. Identifying flaws through Self Reflection
6. Looking at behaviors, past traumas, family situations, social life, etc we can assess how we've personally come to express our flaws in a way we may have not been able to before and begin to understand and conquer them
7. Start being accountable for your life and your relationships, take ownership. your parents and upbringing can stand to be excuses for only so long and those excuses are past their expiration date. You control your life, your reality, your friends, the way you see yourself. Take charge
8. To start making changes change your language, the words you use influence how you feel about that thing or subject. Harsh lanugage towards yourself makes you feel more negatively about yourself. instead of beating yourself down say 'this isnt the best but im trying', instead of claiming something in entirety is for example 'stupid' instead say 'well that wasnt a smart thing to do'. Show yourself the care you provide for others
9. give yourself room for mistake, always encourage and never be negative with yourself because your words influence thoughts and beliefs
10. be grateful, dont always apologize instead thank, 'Thank you for waiting for me'
11. Afew Important points
12. Acceptance of Self & Your Inner-personal Relationship
12.1. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one youll ever have and upon conquering insecurities, past traumas , gaining personal knowledge and understanding the reason to love yourself and have that confidence just increased by a million because self evaluation and the attempt to better yourself is a huge accomplishment in itself
12.1.1. Self relationship is so important because in magic and mental ability you have to trust yourself, rely on your own mental and magical capabilities. Insecurities and a lack in self trust is the first way to your down fall. its the first door that anything of ill intent will attempt to exploit to gain access to your mind and ultimately your body . your vision of self contriputes to your strength in magic and the strength of your mental barriars/protections. It helps to reinforce your will and the effectiveness of your spells and magic endeavors.
12.1.1.1. To find real love is to first find the love of yourself , as projection has been a main topic taking that logic- If we dont understand or grasp the concept of self love how can we truly reflect love to anyone? a partner, friends, family. Self love teaches a love that is unlike what we've come to know and understand. Self love isn't selfish, self love isn't jealous, its not controlling or possessive because thats not actual love thats manipulative affection thats tied to conditions.
12.1.1.1.1. Self love is free, honest, its impowering and understanding that what may not be emotionally gratifying may be the best option in the end, love is wanting the best for someone and doing the best for them even if that means you are removed from the equation. 'I love you and I want you to truly find what will make you your best self and make you the happiest in the end and I know that's not me'
12.2. This is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence. Repetition in positive mantras and affirmations , repetition in positive self talk and reflection
12.2.1. Without that kind of resilience and positive self relationship you become a prime target to be messed with spiritually, a target that's easy to corrupt , and it makes me think of Full metal Jacket - "It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth." if your sense of self, intuition, understanding of self if these are not clean and strong you will hesitate. The last thing you should be worrying about when practicing magic is your own personal doubt. For all concerned the only reliable person at your side will be yourself so you better learn to get along or its going to be a long road
12.2.1.1. Realization in some key life realizations such as 'Pretty' is not the rent you pay to live on this planet, you have no inherent obligations to anyone , "Your chances are 50/50 and so is everybody else's" (Everyone's free to wear sunscreen) , you are not responsible for anyone's happiness and do not tie your healing to someone else's healing, their ability to recognize how they've hurt others, or weather or not they've learned from an experience, Self preservation is never selfish-avoiding self care and not using preservation skills ,is in fact ,selfish, put away the thought you have to be busy and productive to be useful some 'productive-ness' is only busy work and it would be more useful to formulate a plan before acting
12.2.1.1.1. Most people think 'I'm worthless' or some other negative self criticisms but what exactly qualifies as worthless? what if you have an impact on hundreds of people and they all think 'Wow, I hope they're ok, they saved my life by helping me/by being nice to me/by being a good person that genuinely inspires me". Helping ourselves, improving ourselves helps and improves the world around us. You have worth and influence beyond realization. But don't equate that to worth or value just being humans we have worth and value plain and simple.
12.2.1.1.2. There's people who admire everything you are, every aspect, every trait. You are your own bully, you are your worst critique, Other people don't see you in the negative light that you see yourself in..One thing about bullies is they abuse and harass because of their own self image; They abuse others often times because they are bitter about a positive trait their victims' possess
12.2.2. Be honest with who you are, own it, no one else has to live with your decisions
12.2.2.1. "in the end youre the only person you are guaranteed to start and finish the race with, yeah people come along, your family, friends etc. but people have their own lives to attend to. Life has different plans so its best to get comfortable with yourself and learn to be content with your own company. hey, Im my own best friend-we get along and we laugh at all the same things- I look inward for advice and wisdom. I mean its a perfect match"- Me, impromptu tarot explanation
12.2.2.1.1. Throw out beauty magazines throw out the opinion in general of the collective popular idea of 'beauty'. The fashion model image. Most people dont look like that and everyone knows it. This image is constructed for manipulation and product consumption, to get people who strictly follow this image or those who want to 'be beautiful' to buy their 'age defying' beauty products or their 'body fat destroyer' weight loss DVD/health plan.
13. Understanding & Assessing the Problem
14. Understanding the Shadow Self's messages
14.1. Dreams
14.1.1. Dreams are very helpful in this department, its a direct connection into the part of the mind that houses what we're attempting to understand and fix
14.1.1.1. Dreams interpretations have a psychology basis
14.1.1.1.1. Each symbol, action, character, location, pretty much all aspects that you can remember have significant meaning/symbolism. Define/understand the symbols individually or decipher smaller sections one at a time then put it all together. Many dream symbols are open ended and depend on the dreamer to decide specific interpretation
14.2. Self analysis
14.2.1. Look into your own negative reactions, your relationships, negative feelings towards others, unhealthy habits, closely look at your rules and opinions you feel very strongly about.
14.2.1.1. Asking why you are the way you are, how did you develop your quirks, odd habits, insecurities, the fears you've always had?
14.2.1.1.1. This may require some deep digging. My best option was to talk with someone I felt safe with and trusted- We both exchanged many many childhood memories, stories of life changing events, traumatic experiences, how we grew up, our families, childhood desires and what we wanted to be when we grew up. We'd ask questions to help one another unlock important details so we could finally feel and understand our pasts.
14.3. Deciphering Emotions
14.3.1. When a bad mood hits focus on how you feel, what has occurred to bring forth negative feelings? Why does this change the mood? How? does the occurrence have ties to insecurities, fears, things that remind you of something?
14.3.1.1. when emotions flair up focus on what has happened or specifically what has been said, how have you chosen to react? was it because of your emotions (causing hurt, anger, sadness, bitterness, etc.) why did that effect you?
14.4. Translating the judgments we project
14.4.1. Note any negative, bad spirited, mean things you say to/about others Also note mean/negative things said by others that you agree with
14.4.1.1. Often times projections come in the form of jealousy, envy, competition, bitterness, etc. Often comparing looks, clothes, material goods, wealth, cars, weight, etc.
14.4.1.1.1. That indicates not being happy with yourself, poor self image and the desire to have what another possesses (a personality trait, physical appearance, wealthy, material items, friends, ability, etc.)
14.4.1.1.2. may also stem from neglect (home/family life + childhood) and importance placed on physical or material goods instead of genuine family love
15. Accepting our Shadow Selves (coping) & finding Self love
15.1. Through meditation
15.1.1. This is one of the most important steps in emotional control, mindfulness, calming of the mind, understanding your self- In the process of spiritual growth it is very necessary
15.1.1.1. Theres not really an end goal, a point of mastery, or a right or wrong way to meditate
15.1.1.1.1. A few methods/ points of focus (?) would be to focus on the heart beat, focus on intake and exhale of breath, focus on the thought/idea of being in the cycle of earths energy, imagine a revolving cycle of energy outlining your form and focus on that thought
15.1.1.2. Helps to find your center
15.2. Through journaling
15.2.1. Writing in general holds so many possibilities especially because its an outward expression of exactly what youre feeling but its your choice as to whats done with that expression. Keep it for reference, read aloud, destroy it
15.2.1.1. It can help to process events and recall information, learn about yourself, define feelings and thoughts, understand yourself better, clarify feelings, declutter thoughts
15.2.1.1.1. I plan on posting some journaling templates to help with coping and dealing with shadow work, also for self discovery and exploration
15.3. Through emotional emersion
15.3.1. This is pretty much just continues points made previously, its important to let yourself feel your emotions - sit with them, learn, understand, and through mental strength and discipline these emotions can become changeable.
15.3.1.1. Remember you have emotions but you are not your emotions
15.4. Through changing and adapting
15.4.1. Conquering our shadow selves and our past/trauma- bettering ourselves is the goal so how you speak is very important, the words you use to describe your past, your emotions, your future, your healing, yourself
15.4.1.1. if you repeat something enough times you will start to believe it as a fact. This is literally how brainwashing works . so even if you dont believe it now tell yourself in the mirror everyday while getting ready 'I am beautiful, I am deserving of love and happiness, I can do what I put my mind to, I have faith in my abilities and in myself'
15.4.1.1.1. Be careful in how you describe yourself and the judgements you pass because you are listening. Its also said that changing how we define the past can change how we view the event and how we view the trauma resulting from it. Don't view your past as a death sentence view it as something that is passable, something that you can heal from, that in understanding you can help others learn/grow/prevent
15.5. Through pivotal mental states
15.5.1. Moments that we are very receptive to new information, making changes, etc and are usually when we're feeling happier
15.6. Through Expression/Art
15.6.1. Working through all of this will, of course, bring up some negative emotions and thaeres nothing wrong with that. Many will experience stages of prolonged anger. Again, this is ok. That can be transmuted into creative/expressive/positive energy
15.6.1.1. Channel those feelings into art form or an activity you feel passionate about or some kind of physical activity. Let the negative fuel the efforts in this new endeavor.. Jason Silva (one of my favorite speakers) talks about how art and surrendering to the moment (letting go) can help us heal from pain and finding the place between control and chaos when we can give ourselves to the moment is transformative and above all cathartic
15.6.1.1.1. Personally, I find archery extremely therapeutic. I put my anger into the arrow and send it into the target. Doing projects like woodworking, chopping wood, or doing yard work , well activities that I can either excessively use my hammer or in some way cause controlled destruction. Playing video games, cleaning, building (controlled) fires, painting/refurbishing furniture, writing and poetry- just a few of my go to's for emotional outlet