Summary of The Book: Beyond Reason using emotions as we negotiate (Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro )

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Summary of The Book: Beyond Reason using emotions as we negotiate (Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro ) by Mind Map: Summary of The Book: Beyond Reason using emotions as we negotiate (Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro )

1. 5 core concerns that drive emotions

1.1. Address the concern not the emotion

1.1.1. Appreciation (I am appreciated)

1.1.1.1. Find Merit in What Others Think, Feel, or Do—and Show It

1.1.1.1.1. Aknowledge the validity of others thoughts , efforts and feelings

1.1.1.2. To express appreciation is better than Thank you , say:

1.1.1.2.1. Understand the meaning of all parties

1.1.1.2.2. Find the merit of what each party say, think or do

1.1.1.2.3. Communicate our understanding to all parties through words and actions

1.1.1.3. Always show deference

1.1.1.3.1. Be careful on tone of voice

1.1.1.3.2. Better guide or recommend, suggest than give order

1.1.1.3.3. You can say good and bad news, but always in a good way

1.1.1.4. Do our parties feel misunderstood?

1.1.1.4.1. Make them feel understood

1.1.1.4.2. Listen first

1.1.2. Affiliation ( I am treated as a collegue)

1.1.2.1. People need to belong

1.1.2.2. No invitations , not participating is cause of negative emotions

1.1.2.3. Be careful with activities overlapping

1.1.2.3.1. Good communication between members and leaders

1.1.2.4. Does our relatives, team members feel excluded?

1.1.3. Status (my status is recognized)

1.1.3.1. Not good to dispute over status

1.1.3.2. Every people has higher ot lower status in different aspects

1.1.3.3. Status depends on how each of us see ourselves and that is always different on each persons perspective

1.1.3.4. Recognize high status when deserved

1.1.3.5. On what aspects do the parties hold high status ?

1.1.3.5.1. How will you communicate the respect to their status?

1.1.3.6. Do parties feel demeaned?

1.1.4. Role (my role is fulfilling)

1.1.4.1. Pleasant activity , feeling good in a role

1.1.4.2. Do parties feel unfulfilled with what they are doing?

1.1.4.3. How can you enhance the role of the parties

1.1.4.3.1. Problem solver

1.1.4.3.2. Listener

1.1.4.3.3. Evaluator

1.1.4.4. We have temporary roles

1.1.4.4.1. Listener

1.1.4.4.2. Facilitator

1.1.4.4.3. Problem solver

1.1.4.5. We can change our temporary role

1.1.4.5.1. Ex: Two ambassadors of rival countries but personal friends

1.1.5. Autonomy (My freedom to decide)

1.1.5.1. Each of us can take our own decisions

1.1.5.2. Consult before decide

1.1.5.2.1. Not being consulted before a decision, can bring negative emotions

1.1.5.3. Do parties feel free to decide?

2. From the Black Swan Method: Labels we use to reduce emotional bagagge, we can label emotion as a first level, but if we label the concern we can achieve greater results