What we believe has nothing to do with what’s real Regardless of what you believe or don’t believe, we will all die and something will happen. Your belief, suspicion or hope as to what that “something” is, is a projection of your spirituality. Spirituality is important because it’s the source of our purpose in life. If you’re certain that death brings an instant and total completion to your entire existence then it’s likely you’d have little purpose besides selfish interests. You’d live only for you and only for the moment. If you’re certain that death is the beginning of eternity then you’d likely have a focus on others. Helping and building relationships would be a priority for you because you’d believe that others are the only things that can come with you. You’d live for others. Regardless of where you land on the spectrum your spirituality will function like a magnet drawing you towards it. This level of influence must be understood and accounted for. What If I’m “Undecided?” I find that legacy becomes a focal point for those who are in this space. We ask the question: “Will the ones we leave behind be better for us having been here? There’s a certain level of despair that can sink in once we realize that the earth and / or its population will be no better, or perhaps even worse, for us being here. Taking action. Living a life of purpose, even if to only care for those we leave behind, is a sub-element of our spiritual journey and it must be assessed and cared for as it will affect our ability to care for other elements of life. Think about how many life lessons we had to learn the hard way. We’re going to leave these solutions to turn to dust if we don’t capture, teach and turn them over to our kids, family and others whom we lead. If we don’t have a way to turn this stuff over it’s like hitting the reset button.
Prayer, Individual, Family
Family Core Values
Purpose, Self Doubt, Lack of conviction, Lack of passion, Asshole
Going To Church
Triad Study Group
Be in the word of God
Perhaps one of the most encompassing domains there is to care for. A sick child or angry spouse can eclipse every other aspect of our life. Our family can simultaneously provide us with our greatest purpose as well as usher in our greatest threats. Sometimes it seems like the very people we are trying to love and protect are often the ones whom are working the most diligently to thwart us. “I don’t need any of you to help me; but I do need you to stop trying to stop me.” is a common saying around my house when I’m trying to get something done. Our spouses and children depend on our leadership to propel them into what will be one of the most complex and competitive environments ever known to man. For me. My family is the source of what I do. They’re the ones I chose to live a good life for. I live the life I do so that I can lead them to do the same. More Than You Think - Longer Than You Realize: As I started to identify and assess the current and future state of my family I think what surprised me most was how many people made it onto my list of those I’m committed to caring for. Another surprise was how long the horizons of time became as I began to consider the wellbeing of siblings, aging parents, in-laws, close friends and even my X-Wife. When I began looking 20 - 30 years out and assessed if these loved ones would be okay I realized that they will likely need my help.
Childrens Relationships, Boy / Girl Friends, Engagements, Spouse
Mother, Long Term Care, Retirement, Assisted Living, Legal, Wills, Trusts, Powers of Attorney
Father, Long Term Care, Retirement, Assisted Living, Legal, Wills, Trusts, Powers of Attorney
Mother-in-law, Legal, Wills, Trusts, Powers of Attorney
Father-in-Law, Legal, Wills, Trusts, Powers of Attorney
Wills & Trusts Reviews
Weekly Date, Kids, Spouse
I was fortunate enough to learn from some amazing people when I first left the SEAL teams. A man by the name of Toby Hecht of the Aji Network taught me the real definition of money. He taught me that “Money” wasn’t the paper in my wallet, but the ability to care for my concerns. If power is the ability to affect change then money is power. Having money means food, shelter, transportation, medicine, safety and other foundational elements. We do not look upon money in the context of greed, excess, abundance or anything to be desired beyond the practical. Notions of wealth, affluence or fortune cloud our ability to see how much money is really enough to move our family permanently away from danger. We can categorize money into 3 subelements: Protection – From loss, lawsuit, negligence, marketing, incompetence, ignorance, fees, commissions or conflicts of interest. Survival – Enough money to sustain life without unacceptable compromises now or when you can no longer work. Charitable – More money than required for the enduring survival of you and your family. Do you make enough money to save enough so that you can live a good life now as well as when the time comes you can no longer work?
Protection, Life Insurance, Disability Insurance, Auto and Home Insurance, Umbrella Insurance, Legal, Wills, Trusts, Powers of Attorney
Sufficiency, How Much Is Enough?, Savings, Promised Based Assets
Surplus, How Much Is Enough?, Investments, Investment Coaching
Maintain Awareness: How much is enough, Sufficiency, Surplus
Make believe, pretend, movies and TV shows... ...this is how most of us determined what we were going to be when we grew up. For me at the age of 16 I knew what I wanted to be. A Navy SEAL. It was a fine idea for a 16 year old, but later I found myself in a 30 year-old’s body with kids, a wife, and a large mortgage. Today most of us find ourselves in a profession that we decided – or just happened upon – years ago. Deciding what we want to do with our lives before all other things is as backwards as can be. Putting things in their proper order There is a particular order in which to make choices such as what are you going to spend a bulk of your life doing. Get this wrong and you can find yourself in a bit of a tough spot.It’s actually very simple. Either your career produces enough money for you to live well today and well when the time comes when you can no longer work or it doesn’t. Matters of passion and joy are for sure subelements of one’s career, but not the ultimate purpose.
Keep them here to work other areas that are in the red.
Study, Strategic Job Knowledge, Fundamental Business Knowledge, Philosophy
Write, Fulfilment, Marketing, Sales
If death can be described simply as a “complete lack of motion and feeling” then an active and happy life can be used to measure our distance from the grave. Distance not measured in time, but distance measured in units of “Life Lived." What is it all for, if we are not living? What’s the point of work, if we are dead when we get home? Why work your ass off to retire only to be too tired or crippled to play with your grandchildren, or lead, teach and help your adult children? **WARNING** This is more practical than it seems. “Play” is important for all humans. It helps us reset. It brings us back to zero. Like caring for our bodies lifestyle and recreation is not an elective. It’s foundational. This will sound a bit odd, but I keep a favorite video that reminds me of what I measure my “Lifestyle & Recreation” element against. I’m not saying that I need to do what’s in this video. I’m just saying that I need to be close enough. Here’s mine, but you’ll need to find your own. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3PDXmYoF5U
Ski / Snow Board
Learning a new skill
Daily Outings, Surf, Paddleboard
Weekend Activities, Flying, Sailing, Camping
Races, NYC Marathon, Tough Mudder
There are many areas of life in which we can sustain a loss. The chances of any single thing happening to us is slim to none, but in contrast, the chances of getting through life without anything happening is even slimmer. What’s your plan when: Someone enters your home? Someone is standing by your car in a dark parking lot? Your child is being followed online by a predator? Someone steals your identity? You’re out for a run and someone confronts you? How are you protected against: Bumping a “High Income Earner” with your car and you get sued? (Liability) Loss of a breadwinner (Life Insurance) Disability? Market loss? Homeowners Liability? Living Wills? Marketplace Loss – What % of your income is spent frivolously? As you likely know. We can spend a lifetime identifying and caring for any and all concerns and lose it all in a single day if we don't protect it.
Home security, Weapons, Self, Spouse, Dog, Security System, Overt Cameras, Covert Cameras, Fire Alarm, Carbon Monoxide
Personal Security, Weapons, Lethal, Nonlethal, Martial Arts, Jiu Jitsu, Protection K-9, Belgium Malimois, German Shepherd, Situational Awareness
Survival, Everyday Carry, Bugout Bag
Personal Protection Training
Situational Awareness Training, Surveillance, Counter Surveillance
Gear & Technology are the structures, tools, and equipment, in a ready state, that amplify human potential. “Take care of your gear and it will take care of you” – more than a saying in theSEAL teams… It was a mantra we lived and died by. An unequipped human is pretty unimpressive. We can’t fly, breathe underwater, run very fast or even sleep very well overnight if outdoors without a tent and sleeping bag, but we can invent, design and modify tools that transform us into superheroes that can fly, walk through fire, and even take a bullet. Our “Gear”, when understood and mastered, produces limitless efficiencies and capacities. Whether it’s a teenager creating a new business from a distant land, or a father taking his kids to explore the alien universe of the ocean, gear and technology make anything possible. Special Forces and elite Intelligence units personnel have been described as “Renaissance” artists. The ability to manipulate, customize and build specialized gear and technology opens a space between fantasy and reality which provides them with a much needed competitive edge. This is true on the battlefield, in the boardroom and on the weekend. With full awareness of all that there is to monitor and care for you can easily see that any and every advantage must be applied to one's life if he is to live a good life and lead others to do the same.
Most of us have so many pictures by the time we're 40 that we can now no longer find them.
Photo Management / Storage, Mac, Labeling, Automaters, Dropbox, iPhone, iPad
Photo Management & Storage
Weapons, Protection, Hunting, Fishing
Review and Update
Watching the man crawl across the parking lot. Alone, dirty, scared and in need of love. I drove off to work observing his suffering in my rearview mirror. For sure one of the low points in my life as a human. I was busy and struggling at the time and that’s when I realized that living a whole and complete good life is what gives us the capacity to help others. Though this story is an embarrassment, I still believe that there will be many of you out there who can relate. Many of us know there is more we can and should be doing for others and I’m certain that what often stops us is our personal needs for survival. I tend to keep this element at the end of all my lists not because it’s the least important, but because it’s the most important. To have the capacity to help others live a good life is my purpose in life. It’s what I’m working towards. Sure I help people as I can, but I’m working to produce a situation where helping others is my 100% focus.
Local Concerns, Homeless, Shelters
World Concerns, Poverty, Education
Develop and maintain list of Strategic Partners
Develop and maintain list of donors and volunteers
Your body is the foundation from which all other Elements of your life depend on. It's connected to and affects your career, family life, ability to invent, and even your capacity to produce a high income. Your life is dependent upon how "able" your body is. Diet, exercise and sleep greatly affect our moods and cognition. Our ability to create and remain focused on a strategy can be greatly affected by the current and overall state of our health. It's Not An Elective: Many people get stuck in life because they consider their physical health an "elective" that can be postponed until after other more pressing elements of their life are cared for. Unfortunately this is backwards. Our bodies are the foundation for our success. Prioritize accordingly.
Healthy, Weight, BMI, Overweight: BMI 25+, Waist, Weight, Chemistry, Cholesterol, Hemoglobin, Hematocrit, PaO2, Potassium, Sodium, White Blood Cells, Platelets, Blood Sugar, Vital Signs, Blood Pressure, Temperature, Heart Rate, Respirations
Energetic, Sleep, Diet
Fit, Aerobic Endurance, 500 Meter Swim, Minimum: 12:30, Optimum: 9:00, 1.5 Mile Run, Minimum: 10:30, Optimum: 9:30, Balance, Static, Single Leg Balance, Dynamic, Strength, Pushups X-2 Minutes, Minimum: 50, Optimum: 90, Pull-ups, Minimum: 10, Optimum: 18, Curl-ups, Minimum: 50, Optimum: 85, Flexibility
You, Running, Hiking, Strength, Climbing, Swimming / Surfing, Jiu Jitsu, Boxing, Bedtime routine, Medication
Spouse, Yoga, Paddleboarding, Mid Distance Running, Walking
The word “Networking” is perhaps the most misunderstood and powerful word in our language. Networking, to most, means walking around with unnatural “Elevator Pitches” hoping to generate business relationships at a cocktail party with a 3 sentence blurb about what we do. It’s synonymous with destroying your reputation and decreasing your identity and value with the people you know. Networking doesn’t work. Building a team does and that requires that you truly be valuable to others. It’s important to recognize that building a powerful team is like building anything else. It takes time and energy and when you need your team isn’t the time to start building it. The time is now. As you work through and with a map like this you’ll soon discover that the quantity of elements and subelements to care for, along with the wisdom required to do so, becomes overwhelming. It’s not something you can do alone. “Your Team” provides you with the needed capacity to remain aware of and care for all of the elements that make up a good life as you provide those on your team with the same. It's just how it works. We need each other.
Friends, Shared Values, Shared Finanicial Ambitions, Shared Interests, Shared Schedules
Medical, General practitioner, Specialist
Financial, Insurance, Property & Casualty, Medical, Life, Disability, Investments / Savings
Utility, Mechanic, Plumber, Electrician, Handy Man, IT (Computer)
Spiritual, Church, Church Groups
Education, Career, Life
Security, Personal, Home Defense, Identity
Family / Marriage Counsler
Church Study Group
Interviewing New People at time of need
Average Frog Study Group, Share This Map, Share Your Map, Talk About Each Others Map
Here’s how we got to a place you may not be aware of…. Hunter GatherersWe started here then we learned to be more efficient through farming. Agrarian We evolved into an agrarian society allowing us to accumulate and store excess product so that we didn’t have to spend all of our time hunting and gathering. This “build up” of resources not only helped us to better survive; but, also afforded those who progressed more time to advance other technologies.Those who didn’t recognize the shift in our culture, or ignored it, eventually perished. Industrial Now that our food was handled, we were able to redeploy the time and energy that we were using on mere survival to invent machines and technologies that could improve our quality of life as well as produce more of what we needed to thrive. The principles of hard work and determination became valued in our society as humans began to compete against machines.Those who didn’t recognize the shift from our Agrarian society to our Industrial society found themselves marginalized and devalued, and eventually perished. Knowledge We now live in what’s called a knowledge based economy. This means that we are compensated in proportion to our ability to help others by way of design and innovation. Hard work and college degrees are now common and have been priced as such. Frustrated college students riddled with debt and unable to compete have highlighted this problem recently.Those who don’t learn the difference between regurgitated information and true knowledge are and will continue to suffer and perish. Knowledge – Get it everyday If you’re committed to living a good life, and leading other to do the same, you will find that this foundational element of “mind” will be your greatest asset.The world has become a competitive place requiring us all to be in daily practices of learning and training.
Psychology, Focus, Obsessive, Stress, Anxiety, Depression
Strategic, Career Strategy, Writing, Speaking, Sales, Leadership, Family, Marriage, Parenting
Philosophy, Spiritual, Bible, Apologetics, Evangelism, Theology, Concerns, Lifestyle, Financial, Career
Cultural, Inc., Fortune, Business Week, New York Times, Wall Street Journal
Mind Map: This is a "Mind Map". There are many types available at a variety of prices. I like this one because it's online, I can share it and the price is very reasonable for what it can do. This is from Mindmeister. By no means do you need to use this particular brand, but I do highly recommend you use some type of mind map for this type of work. As a bit of a caveat. I have to tell you that we don't support any particular software so whatever you choose be sure it fits within your technical capabilities. That's a polite way of saying "Don't email me with questions about how to use the map." : ) Right Now: Right now your current situation is the product of the practices you've been in for the past 5, 10 or more years. Your future will be dictated by the practices you'll be in for the next 20 + years. And it's likely that much of what you spend your time, money and attention on right now is more by default rather than intention... ...and since it's not likely that we'll all just show up in our old age and say "Wow! I just happen to get all that right" we must occasionally stop! ...and take inventory of where we are, where we're heading and what changes must occur to ensure we live a good life now and for the rest of our lives. Braces: So ambition is like a set of braces. When we first "put it on" it feels a little uncomfortable. But. As time goes by things like our attention, time and effort begin to align with our intention to live a good life. Ambition gets easier as life gets better. I'm saying all of this because when people first start this work can feel overwhelming, like I just added a lot of things to do in your life. But. In reality all I'm really doing here is making you aware of what already exists. Ya - at first it feels like a lot, but once you get it sorted it calms life down. We're pretty much all the same: It's likely the idea of a shared list of concerns may alarm you. We all like to think of ourselves as unique snow flakes. But the truth is we all have much more in common than not. What we're going to do: Now I'm going to take you into the structure and process that I've been using and teaching for years. Stay with me in the video and I'll be sure to include the step-by-step in the course notes.
Each element has: Narrative Subelements Practices We use these in order to I: Identify A: Assess P: Prioritize E: Execute For example...
Assessments, Phase 1, Read Narrative, Add / Subtract / Modify (Caution), Make Assessment, Labeling, Red = Below Average, Green = Average, Blue = Surplus, Phase 2, Assess Subelements, Add / Subtract / Modify (Go for it), Update overall assessment
Prioritize, NOW: Effort and attention, NEXT: Effort and attention, LATER: Effort and attention, Average vs Surplus
Execute, Identify Practices, Schedule Practices, Re-Prioritize, Repeat