Week 4 - Love your Neighbor: Active & Impossible

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Week 4 - Love your Neighbor: Active & Impossible by Mind Map: Week 4 - Love your Neighbor: Active & Impossible

1. There is a self-loathing that underminds the gospel and a self-love that is demanded in the gospel

2. Intro

2.1. Is it possible to love others?

2.2. The Need for love

2.2.1. Rats that are unlicked don't form correctly

2.2.2. Harlow - monkeys unloved and how they react to their own babies

2.2.3. countless studies on how being unloved affects our brains physiclaly

2.2.4. stressors affect respiratory lungs

2.2.5. Is this true for humans? Consider those that you know who struggle with loving others. How many of them knew what it meant to be loved?

2.2.5.1. Pysch Central

2.2.5.2. “My folks just tell me that I’m fat and stupid. They’re always telling me I’m no good.” –14-year-old girl “No matter what I do, my parents criticize me. I get good grades. I help out at home. My girlfriend is polite to them. But I can never do things enough right for them.” –17-year-old boy “Both my parents yell at me all the time. I try to stand up for myself but it only makes it worse. They say they wish I’d never been born.” – 11-year-old girl “I think my mom is depressed. She stays in bed all the time. She expects me to clean house, cook dinner every night, take care of my little sister, and bring her whatever she wants. She’s not a bit grateful. Actually, she complains about me to my grandmother and to my dad. Then they yell at me too. I don’t think I can take it much longer.” – 16-year-old boy

2.3. Kids that are crazy are often kids that are unloved

2.3.1. 6th grade that one kid

2.3.2. Josh Kuntz

2.4. as yourself

2.4.1. Some my say, as Kiergaard talks about, ask why as yourself? Why is the limitation there?

2.4.2. There's only one person that we could possibly love mroe than ourselves, and that is God. That relationship is veriticla, God on top. Human is horistonal. This is why it does not say "love God as you love yourself" --- but rather, love God with all your ... etc

2.4.3. This is a command of duplication, and the problem is we who love to love-self hat duplicaiton.

2.5. Why do I bring this up?

2.5.1. Consider what Paul says here in Eph 3 and 4 about knowing love and then loving

2.5.2. Consider what John says in 1 John

3. Thesis

3.1. the self-esteem movement is relatively new, credited to a slew of 1960s psychologists (including Morris Rosenberg, Stanley Coopersmith and Nathaniel Branden). Self-esteem can be most simply defined as what we think about ourselves. Many psychologists of that time period linked low self-esteem to common psychological problems, such as suicide and depression. Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, “self-esteem” somehow meandered into the mainstream American lexicon. Politicians began to blame every teen problem from teen pregnancy to drug abuse on low self-esteem. Public schools began equating academic achievement with self-esteem. Then the self-esteem movement became a parody in SNL skits (Stuart Smalley) and The Offspring songs.

3.2. The biblical narrative is that we are made in the image of God, and because of that we like ourselves. And this liking of ourselves is owing not to who we are and what we do, but who god has made us to be and what he has done.

3.2.1. So from the begining, the intention of God was that we might say as the psalmsist says

3.2.1.1. Psalms 139:14, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

3.2.2. But then sin came and what we find is not that we stop loving ourselves (as Adam and Eve) blamed another to cover themeselves, but they also covered themselves

3.2.2.1. What was this? This was a shaming of self, that while they pursued with a passion to love self, that love of self looked only to them and what they had and not had and the reference point was not God but self, so what did they do? They hid.

3.2.2.2. And in hiding what did that do? It seperated them, not from God first, though that was true spriitually, but the experience of it was through relationships first. They hid.

3.2.2.3. And then God comes and what does he do? He again invades their understandign of self, and he provides for them and covers for them and through that process, what happens? relatiosnhip is restored to some level

3.2.3. We make a mistake to think that lovin gothers is unconnected to us love God and knowing we are loved by God and being comfortable with that.

3.2.3.1. Eph

3.2.3.2. John

3.3. both arrogance and self-loathing is rooted in the understanding of conditional love. (hence the solution - unconditional love)... straight to the 5 points

3.3.1. Both are rooted in conditional love

3.3.1.1. 1 Cor 15:10 by the grace of God I am what I am. It takes grace to say that and believe that and be ok with that.

3.3.2. Both presents obsticals to real relationships because both are gripped by the fear of vulnerability- one to be exposed for what they know they don't have and the other, for what they know they don' thave but pretend to have

3.3.2.1. 1 John love casts out fear, 2 tim 1:7;

3.3.3. both keep us in a place that we dont' want to hear the truth

3.3.3.1. but to understand self in reference to God, then we can be open to both praise and correction Eph 4:25 / 1 Cor 13:6

3.3.4. Both are driven by comparing to others - one uses it to promote themeslves

3.3.4.1. Gal 6:4

3.4. So then, what is broken about Nathaniel ... pshyco guy and Joel Olsteen and any counselor or psychologist or psychiatrist is not that they try to help you to accept you and love you, but that they do it outside of the reference poitn of the gospel

3.4.1. And once outside the refenrce point of God, then we do two things

3.4.1.1. try to fill our void because we loathe ourself

3.4.1.2. Try to validate teh pint because we worship ourself

3.4.2. Everyone loves themselves, that's what these veress assumes, but what

3.5. Yet the irony lies in the paradox: Christians discover, in line with Jesus’ teaching, that losing yourself for Christ means you find yourself; self-denial results in life and vitality and in the growing graces connected with Christian maturity. Self-focus and self-love may produce a superficial and transient high, but they result in death.

3.6. In city of God, Augustine put love of God and others with love of self because of this verse

3.6.1. Contemporary culture so greatly emphasizes the importance of self-esteem, of self-love, that the little phrase “as yourself” (“love your neighbor as yourself”) is often understood to be a command to love yourself, or at very least an implicit sanction of self-love. Although the idea is very popular today, it goes back at least as far as Augustine.22

3.7. Knowing the love of God empowers us to love others

3.7.1. Ephesians

3.7.1.1. Eph 3:14-21 - know his love

3.7.1.2. Eph 4:1 - "I therefore .... urge you to wlak worthy .... bearing with one another in love"

3.8. Love others as you love yourself

3.8.1. One of the mistakes is to read this verse and to believe that there's three commands here - love God, love others and love self.

3.8.1.1. Augustine bleieved this in the City of God

3.8.1.2. Loving yourself is not a 3rd commandment that is somehow hidden in Matthew 22:36-40. Loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind and loving others as you already do love yourself are the TWO commandments on which all the Law and the Prophets depend. There is no 3rd commandment in this passage about the need to love yourself. In fact, "love of self" is a key obstacle to growing in Christ. That should not be surprising since there is no verse in Scripture that states a need to "grow in your love of self" in order to grow in Christ.

3.8.2. The other mistake is to make no correlation between how we love others to how we love ourself

3.8.2.1. The message is plain, we do love ourself - so in a very real sense how we love our is the fervor with which we are to love others.

3.8.3. But now consider .... let's look at how we love ourselves.

3.8.3.1. Identity issues

4. Extra

4.1. Affrimation

4.1.1. God goes to extreemes to break our self-reliance and self-love

4.1.1.1. Moses in desert

4.1.1.1.1. And God tell shi

4.1.1.2. Joseph thought he was something ...

4.1.1.3. The call to brokenness is a call to openness. It's an altered vision. It doesn't mean that our lives enter into a continuous state of disrepair so that God can use what "working" functions we have left for his glory. Brokenness is the gentrification of our hearts. It means that the heart we had was condemned and the only way for God to make it fit for use was to demolish it and rebuild it from the ground up. Same body, new heart. The reason it hurts so bad is that we all love our old hearts. We love the familiar pulse and well-worn rhythm that our old hearts provided for us. They filled us with adrenaline, pumping the blood of self-indulgence through our veins . . . until we remember that they didn't at all. We remember that they shut us into the cells of our own self-belief, closing us off from the liberation of godly self-deni

4.1.1.4. How we are loved - There is of course a place for thinking through matters of selfesteem from a theological point of view. Interestingly enough, passages that speak most powerfully about human worth are not found in contexts commanding us to love others. Thereis a strong implicit emphasis on human significance in the creation narratives: only human beings aremade in the image of God. The same emphasis on the sanctity of an individual human life leads to the sanction of capital punishment: human life is so valuable that when it is violently taken, the murderer must die as a way of pointing out how awful the crime is (Gen. 9:6).6 The Master’sinsistence that his disciples not worryabout the necessities of life, such as food and drink and clothing, brings up the relative importance of human life in yet another context: God looks after the birds and feeds them; he clothes the fields with wild lilies. If God does all that, should we not expect him to look after his own people, who areso “much morevaluable” than birds and lilies (Matt. 6:25-34)? But there is no passage that commands us to love ourselves. True, we Christians are to remember that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and act accordingly (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

4.1.2. Don't say you cann''t speak- Moses

4.1.3. To jeremiah - don't say you are to young

5. Illustrations

5.1. quotes

5.1.1. This is false love, which can be simply defined as: The desperate need to be seen as special in order to feel safe.

5.1.2. True love can be defined as: The commitment to know, experience and contribute as deeply as possible to the growth of someone or something.

5.1.3. “And so penance remains while self hate remains.” He said that self hate was the true interior penitence. “This,” said Luther, “is essential to the gospel.”

5.2. A well-known Peanuts cartoon shows Lucy accusing her little brother, Linus, of not loving his fellow man. "I love mankind," was his indignant response, "it's people I can't stand!" It is very easy to love the whole wide world, and it is easy to love the church. However, it may be very difficult to love one particular person. But the love our Lord calls you to exercise is a practical, personal kind of love that is expressed primarily to individuals.

5.3. Kierkegard - loving neighbor is loving othr and for SK, this means destroying self-love, even if there is no target for the giving of love. This is a bit philosophical "if a man lived on adesert island, if he devloped his mind in harmony withte commandmetn, theny renounicng self-love he coud be said to lvoe his neighbor" (works of love, pg 18)

5.3.1. His idea is derived from the thought that "yourself" is an object of your volitional will and love. You treat yourself as another person, I consciously work for the good of Tony Huy as if Tony Huy was my best neighbor, best friend.

6. Analysis of the cmd to "love your neighbor"

6.1. Survey of all the passages

6.1.1. Mt 19:19 Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

6.1.1.1. Passage

6.1.1.1.1. Context: Mt 19:16 And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” Mt 19:17 And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” Mt 19:18 He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Mt 19:19 Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

6.1.1.1.2. Mt 19:20 The young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Mt 19:21 Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Mt 19:22 When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

6.1.1.2. Rich young ruler

6.1.2. Mt 22:39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

6.1.2.1. Time when confrontation and a chapter before teh woes to the religious leaders

6.1.2.2. Passage

6.1.2.2.1. Mt 22:34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. Mt 22:35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. Mt 22:36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” Mt 22:37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Mt 22:38 This is the great and first commandment. Mt 22:39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Mt 22:40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Mt 22:41 Now while the Pharisees were gathered together, Jesus asked them a question,

6.1.3. Mk 12:31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

6.1.4. Lk 10:27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

6.1.4.1. Good samaritan

6.1.5. Ro 13:9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

6.1.5.1. The following says - Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the la The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2001). (Ro 13:10). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

6.1.5.2. This command sums up the human - relational side of the law

6.1.6. Ga 5:14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

6.1.6.1. Context - law living. Grace means living in freedom.

6.1.7. Jas 2:8 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.

6.1.7.1. Context is showing partiality, caring for the rich

6.2. Observations

6.2.1. #1 - Loving God is first, loving othes is second

6.2.1.1. Always listed as second

6.2.1.2. Mk 12:31 is explicit

6.2.2. #2 - Loving others fullfils the law, again and again the context of love your neighbor says this. What we understand then is that to love your neighbor means to have relationship with them that is defined within the framework of the law.

6.2.3. #3 - 7 times this command is given to love your neighbor and never is it given without context to "as yourself"

7. Verses that show a sense of self-love

7.1. Psalms 139:14, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

7.2. Loving self is simply acknowledging and loving the work of redemption that has happened, is happening, and will ocntinue to happen in me.

7.2.1. It is never a look to see myself for myself, but it is to see myself in Christ and to lvoe that. To be hopeful in that. To rest in that

7.2.2. So many of us have deep identity issues. Deep identity issues... so deep we don't even know how to pin point and articulate it.

7.2.2.1. it rears itself up when the thought of failure aries

7.2.2.2. it shows up when we are next to those we perceive to be successful

7.2.2.3. It comes when we are in sin and then it becomes a bit more obvious that we don't view ourselves in Christ , but rather in our work

7.2.2.4. It is clear when we are rejected and how much we honest crave the acceptance

7.2.2.5. We compensate - we think we're

7.3. Love God's work

7.3.1. Isaiah 43:25, "I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.

7.3.2. Psalms 103:12, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."

7.3.3. Ephesians 2:10 ESV / 67 helpful votes For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

7.3.4. 1 John 3:1 ESV / 78 helpful votes See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

7.3.5. Moses - don't say you are too old

7.3.6. Jeremiah - don't say you are too young

7.3.7. Gideon - I'm too little, a notbody

7.4. http://www.openbible.info/topics/loving_yourself

8. God's call to deny self

8.1. This is the greater theme

8.1.1. take up your cross

8.1.2. die daily

8.2. Our world is infactuated with self

8.2.1. lovers of self (2 Tim 3)

8.2.2. So here we are with the gospel, going to a generation of people who are not only proud, but they’ve turned pride into the virtue of all virtues, who are in love with themselves, and who seek to fulfill every whim, and every desire, and every ambition, and every dream, and every hope; who seek to be everything that they can be, who seek to set value on all that they are, and all that they say, and all that they do. And we confront that culture with the gospel, and at the heart of the gospel is this opening. “So you want to follow Jesus, do you? You want to enter the Kingdom of God? You want your sins forgiven? You want eternal heaven? Then deny yourself and take up your cross and fully submit to Him.” You can’t even get to the submitting part unless you can get past the cross part, and you can’t get there if you can’t get past the part about denying yourself.

8.2.3. roman times - lovers of self - indulged in al lthigns!!!

8.3. But key to abandon self is to abandon into the arms of God

8.4. nothing in us

8.4.1. Job 1:42

8.4.2. Paul 1 tim 1:15

8.4.3. Isa says woe is me

8.4.4. Peter - depart from me for I am a sinful man

8.4.5. Luke 18 0 the publican - "can't even look up and says "God be merciful to me, a sinner"

8.4.6. “For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he’s the one who will save it. For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?”

8.4.6.1. But even here, the point is not ... not to take the actions of love towards yourself, cause then you would do nothing when repentance hits so you could go to hell

8.4.6.2. And if you live that well, if you punish yourself as the heathen, then you undermine the gospel

8.4.7. is this true?

8.4.7.1. Next time we’re going to look at verses 26 and 27 when Jesus says, “Everybody is going to stand before the throne of judgment, at the final tribunal, and be judged eternally on how they responded to this message.” Let me summarize it simple. Self love will send you to hell. Self hate will send you to heaven. Believing in the Lord Jesus Christ is essential. Believing in the Lord Jesus Christ tied to genuine repentance is required. Both are a mighty work of the Spirit of God in a willing heart through the truth understood. That’s why we preach that truth.

9. Think of ourselves in refernce to grace

10. Gospel Centered lives

10.1. Living in grace and loving what God is doing and has done. Having neither the need to boast "look at what I did" but neither the need to hide "don't look at me". Simply the thought - I am who I am by the grace of God - 1 Cor 15:10 .. and even then, God is not done with me

10.2. Effects in us

10.2.1. A capacity for empathy

10.2.2. contentment, non-comparative - identity!

10.2.3. honesty - open to information - praise or critique

10.2.4. courage - abiltiyt ot invest in intimacy in spite of fears

10.2.5. grace, unconditional love

10.3. How then will this effect us? How then will this enable us to love others?

11. Conclusion

11.1. I know this series is a strong love. A strong call to go and do. I love that. We need that. To be honest, so many of us need to be moved, shifted into action ... JOIN THE MISSION - remember that phrase .. it will be very significant in coming months.

11.2. But no one is moved ultimately by a life coach yelling at them. LISTEN - I AM NOT YOUR LIFE COACH. I am a preacher of teh gospel.

11.3. What shapes our lives -- and so much more to be said next week -- is the gospel of Jesus Christ. The understanding of what he has done.

11.4. The gospel at such deep levels reshapes our undestanding of ourselves, and the gosepl seen throughs overeign grace, is not only biblical in my view, but is powerful to destroy both pride and self-loathing and therefore enable us to love like never before.

11.4.1. Thats' why we value it. it's not for tehology maeri

11.4.2. Please don't say it's to join some man name calvin. That's a silly argument with all do respenct

11.4.3. Call it reformed theology, call it sovereign grace ... call it as the beleoved charlse spurgeon called it ... he called it the gospel. the story of a God rescuing sinners

11.4.4. And in that --- to feel deeply loved

11.4.5. and in that - to love back deeply