Confidence Gap - Russ Harris - Big Ideas

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Confidence Gap - Russ Harris - Big Ideas by Mind Map: Confidence Gap - Russ Harris - Big Ideas

1. Confidence comes after

1.1. 2 definitions of confidence

1.1.1. The feeling

1.1.2. The Action

1.1.2.1. Confidence comes from Latin

1.1.2.1.1. - Con = with

1.1.2.1.2. - Fidere = trust

1.1.2.1.3. To Act with Trust

1.2. Confidence Requires Action

1.3. Confidence gap= Waiting for the feeling of confidence in order to take action

1.4. Nelson Mandela

1.4.1. I had fear

1.4.2. I acted with confidence despite the fear

1.4.3. In face of fear, he took action

2. Core of problems is FEAR:

2.1. Fusion with your thoughts/feelings

2.2. Evaluation of experience as bad or negative

2.3. Avoidance of experience

2.4. Reason-giving for our behavior instead of taking action

3. ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

3.1. 3 Steps

3.1.1. Accept your feelings/emotions

3.1.2. Choose a direction in alignment with your values

3.1.3. Take action

3.2. Not about trying to change thoughts, but instead taking action

3.2.1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is about changing thoughts that lead to emotions

3.2.1.1. Recommended reading/videos/mindmaps

3.2.1.1.1. Feeling Good - Dr David Burns

3.2.1.1.2. When Panic Attacks

3.3. Exercise: Steps to attack any area of life

3.3.1. - Identify values

3.3.2. - Pick an area of life

3.3.2.1. - Identify goals

3.3.2.2. - Specify actions

3.3.2.2.1. Aligned with values

3.3.2.3. Take Action in alignment with values

4. When the goal seems impossible

4.1. 1985 climbing expedition

4.1.1. When climbing Peruvian Andes

4.2. Broken right leg

4.2.1. Left for dead by his friend

4.3. Made his way back to basecamp by dragging himself for 60 hours

4.3.1. Along the foot prints of his partner

4.3.2. Loosing 42 lbs in 3 days

4.4. Even if the goal seems impossible

4.4.1. We can take one more step towards it

4.4.1.1. Every step counts

4.4.2. Action Guided by values not feelings

4.4.3. We might give up for moments. But we rise up again

4.4.4. Recommended reading/videos/mindmap: Executive Toughness

4.4.4.1. Relentless Solution Focus

5. Acting inline with our values

5.1. Also discussed in 7 Habits of Highly effective people

5.1.1. Habit 1 = Be proactive

5.1.1.1. Act in alignment with your values

5.1.1.2. Dont act according to your feelings or circumstances

5.2. Values are the ultimate guideline

5.3. You must identify your most fundamental values

5.3.1. Success = living true to your values

5.3.2. What's the smallest thing I can do that is in alignment with my values

5.4. Recommended Reading, Videos and Mindmaps

5.4.1. Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal

6. Experiential avoidance (EA)

6.1. Avoiding thoughts and feelings, even when doing so creates harm in the long-run

6.2. Avoiding action that will lead to short term discomfort

6.2.1. Even if that action could lead to long-term fulfillment

6.3. Basing actions on how we feel

6.3.1. Not what is important

7. Is this thought Helping me?

7.1. Irrespective of how true/false they might be

7.2. Will this thought allow me to live the life of my dreams?

8. De-Fuse from your Thoughts/Feelings

8.1. We must Take right action in spite of our feelings

8.1.1. Recommended reading: 7 Habits of Highly effective people. Habit 1

8.1.1.1. Habit 1 = Be proactive

8.1.1.1.1. Act in alignment with our values and principles. Not feelings

8.2. STOICISM

8.3. We must be able to

8.3.1. Handle our thoughts and feelings

8.3.2. View our thoughts and feeling from a distance

8.4. How to separate yourself from your thoughts

8.4.1. Meta-Cognition

8.4.1.1. Instead of "I'm thinking that "

8.4.1.2. "I notice that I'm thinking that ...."

8.4.1.3. The layer of awareness beyond your thoughts

8.4.1.4. The most potent way to develop this faculty of meta-cognition is through mindfulness meditation

8.4.2. NLP

8.4.2.1. Use different techniques to distort the thought so that it feels comical

8.4.2.1.1. Sing it

8.4.2.1.2. Silly voices

8.4.3. Quiet your mind

8.4.3.1. Also discussed in "Self-Esteem" by McKay, Fanning

9. ABC of Harnessing the power of negative feelings

9.1. You can use the negative feeling or get thrown around by it

9.2. ABC of fear

9.2.1. - Accept it

9.2.2. - Be a friend to it

9.2.2.1. It is here to help you

9.2.3. Channel the stress/excitement for peak performance

9.2.3.1. Also Talked in Buddha's brain

9.3. Recommended reading, Videos, mindmaps:

9.3.1. Upside of your dark side by Todd Kashdan