D.E.C.I.D.E

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D.E.C.I.D.E by Mind Map: D.E.C.I.D.E

1. EXPLORE THE ALTERNATIVES: One alternative: Tell the truth, own up to breaking the device. Second alternative: Lie about it, don't own up and say something like, "It was already broken before." Third alternative: Blame it on someone else

2. IDENTIFY YOUR VALUES: In considering the options and what I should do, my thoughts on my long-terms goals would be that I'd want to be a friendly person, one that people would always go to when they have problems and need some sort of guidance. One long term goal I've been especially working hard on is giving good advice to those who actually do come to me for help, and helping them consider both sides of a problem before helping them make a decision. My family also believes in honesty and always telling the truth, as they were both taught to always tell the truth no matter what, because we were all taught that if we told the truth, life would grant us less of a blow and might even lighten the consequence compared to the ones we were all imagining in our heads. Considering everyone's health and safety and my self respect, I believe that since I accidentally broke their device, I've already hurt both my friend and their parents and my parents as we have to either pay for it or they have to pay for it in an attempt to be nice and say that "Oh it wasn't your fault", therefore why hurt them more by telling a lie? I respect them enough to tell the truth and own up to my mistakes, and I respect my friendship to have faith that they'll forgive me and we'll get through it. Based on my values, I believe the right thing to do is to just tell the truth.

3. DECIDE AND ACT: Like I said above, based on my values, I'd choose to tell the truth, as I believe in honesty and the fact that if you tell the truth, you won't hurt anyone more than you've already have by causing the problem. The plan for this is quite simple, for the moment you break the phone, I would first try to fix it, and even if I do fix it, the moment my friend comes back to collect her device, I'll tell her. For me, instead of delivering news abruptly like ripping off a bandaid, I like to slowly ease my way to the problem. I'd start with, "It was an accident.", then they'd ask, "What?", and then I'd slowly explain what happened very slowly, going into detail and all the way reminding them how it was an accident. By the time I get to the problem, they'd understand the entire story and the blow will be weak compared to just starting the conversation with, "I broke your phone, whoops". Therefore, my plan would be to just admit it the moment they come back to get their device back, which is a realistic deadline as you're not waiting for so long and you're full-on admitting it.

4. EVALUATE THE RESULTS: After having told my friend the truth that me breaking her device was a complete accident and I didn't purposely do it, I believe that the decision was a fairly good one. Yes, in the beginning she upset and mad and she ignored me for the rest of the day, but after offering to pay to fix it and helping fix it for her, all was mended once again. Though it took a while for things to be back to their old state, once the phone was fixed, her anger with me was gone once she saw that the problem was fixable. This decision has affected my life as now I have learned that our friendship is stronger than some problem, and that if she can forgive me for breaking something as important as her phone, she can forgive me for other problems, and that I in turn can also forgive her. This has affected her life as well as she learned that though a problem seems like the end of the world in a moment, once things follow through and the phone is fixed, everything is fine in the end and even the worst of problems pass. If I broke her device again, I wouldn't change a thing that I did. I believe that telling the truth is the right thing, and though I did face the consequences of her parents blaming me and my parents mad at me for being so clumsy, I like how things turned out and how, overtime, everyone slowly learned that the problem was being solved and healing.

5. CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES: Consequences for first alternative: If you tell the truth, the positive consequences would be that you won't lie to your friend, showing that you value your friendship enough to have faith that you'll get through the problem and that they'll eventually forgive you. The most expected negative, however, is that they won't forgive you, and you'll have lost a friend and have to either pay for it or buy them a new one. This option, though the chances of the negative consequence showing, is risky for the following days after the incident, but not risky in the long run as you did the right thing. By telling the truth, it would affect everyone by giving them an idea of what happened and how you breaking it was an accident. In would affect your future greatly as there will be no guilt in your conscience, and though the chances of success are slim as you'll lose a friend, in the long run it'd be better to lose a friend and tell the honest truth than tell a lie and keep one who believed in your lie. Consequence for second alternative: If you lie about it and create an excuse like, "It was already broken before", "You gave it to me broken!", one positive consequence would be that your friend wouldn't be mad at you and you wouldn't lose them. The most negative consequence would be that you'd be lying to your friend, and they'd never know the truth. If you're friends for a really long time, you'd always have the lie staining your conscience, knowing that you're only still friends with them because you lied to them about something you did on accident. By telling a lie, it would affect everyone as everyone wouldn't blame you and you'd get away without getting in trouble, though it'll affect your future as you'll always be scared that someone will find out. The chances of success are 50/50, as it depends on your friend. If your friend remembered that it was working fine before they handed it to you, the chances of success are slim. If your friend has a record of always dropping their phone and is just waiting for a point in time that it breaks, then your chances of success are high as they'd think it's fair that it broke, as it was already bound to break in the first place. This option however is very risky for the long run, as if your friend believes you and you become really good friends in the future, only to tell them that you lied to them, it'll definitely puncture a hole in your friendship as everything from the incident to then would have been built on a lie. Consequence for third alternative: If you blame it on someone else, one positive consequence would be that your friend wouldn't blame you. One negative consequence would be that you'd be lying to your friend, and you'd also be ruining someone else's reputation and life by pinning it on them. By blaming it on someone else, it'd affect them as one day they'd wake up realising that everyone is blaming them for something they didn't do, and in the days to come from that, they'd feel so helpless as no one would believe the actual truth that they didn't do it. You'd cause them to feel sad and hated for no reason, and if things get too far, they might start blaming themselves for the fact that people blame them, thinking that it's something about their personality that screams: "I'm the kind of person who commits a fault and doesn't own up" when in fact, you're that type of person. However, while they're going through this, you wouldn't be affected at all. Your friends would still be friends with you, your parents would love you for telling the "truth" of who did it, and life will pass by smoothly for you. You'll feel bad, you'll feel guilty, but what does that matter when you didn't have to pay the consequences of your fault? The chances of success for this consequence is fairly high, as when in a mad state, I'm sure the friend would want to pin their anger on someone and they'd believe you instantly. This consequence is also more 40% risky and 60% success since, depending on who you pin it on, if they have an alibi, you'd fail. Most likely if you're smart enough and pin it on someone who's always alone, you'd be successful.

6. DEFINE THE PROBLEM: You borrowed your friend's device and accidentally break it. This is an example of social and emotional wellness, as it effects your friendship (social wellness) and it's also presents a challenge that you have to learn to cope with while understanding more about yourself, which is emotional wellness.