Plugged in
af Teodora Coutinho
1. Drink a lot of beer, you would love the lights, as you will try to find your way to the toilet.
2. noise
2.1. ear plugs
2.2. 1. Move to Africa and live with a tribe
2.3. cover head with pillow
2.4. 2. Live in a tent in the nature
2.5. have partner use headphones
2.6. carpets on bare floors to dampen sound
2.7. tapestries on walls to dampen sound
2.8. moving to a house in the woods or in the mountains
2.9. knock out your partner
2.9.1. seperate beds
2.10. partner should put their device on mute mode
3. Crazy Ideas
3.1. smash phone before sleeping
3.2. cut off fingers so you can't use the phone
3.3. put phone in spider case so you don't want to use it
3.4. slippery/burning substance that prevents you from using the phone
3.5. Eat like there is no tomorrow and spend your night vomiting, you won't bother about anything else!
3.6. caught red handed paint that publicly shames you for using the phone after hours
3.7. bad skunk smell that is released when phone is used after hours
3.8. Spend each night with different partner, so you will like the light and eventually get used of it.
3.9. Find a job in a funeral office, preferably the night shift
3.10. Have a newborn child, the least you worry is the lights at night.
4. electronic temptation
4.1. placing gadgets beyond arm's length from bed
4.2. muting alerts
4.3. electronics curfew
4.4. implementing a "gadget jar" functioning like a swear jar
4.5. turn mobile devices off
4.6. charge overnight in different room
4.7. Soft phone toy that replaces the phone during the night. Actual phone stays in the drawer
4.8. an app the disables functionalities on your phone when you enter your bedroom after a certain hour. tracks where you are on GPS
4.9. law that decrees all mobile users to be disconnected after designated hour
4.10. phone box left outside the bedroom
4.10.1. gloves that prevent you from using your touch screen phone
4.11. electric shock from your phone if used after designated hour
4.12. sound proof box for mobile
4.13. all power plugs in bedroom disconnect after designated time
4.14. rehab: center for mobile-addicted non sleepers
4.15. phone discharges after designated hour
4.16. playing a game: reward to turn off devices more consecutive days before sleeping
4.17. create a campaign on a social network to inform of the problems of being plugged in
4.18. increase the cost of energy consumers overnight to reduce the number of devices connected
4.18.1. Inventing a way to profit the energy stored in the devices in standby
4.19. saving devices in a secret place at home for anyone can plug them overnight
4.20. each member of family designated a 'police' responsiblity to ensure that no one uses their phones after hours
4.20.1. App that tracks use of other mobile phones
4.21. coach app that encourages you not to use your phone when you pick it up in the night
4.22. Fatwa/decree issued that says using a phone after certain hours is unreligious
4.23. Alert the public on the dangers of using electronics constantly by investing in scientific research
5. calming mental state (excitement)
5.1. valerian tea
5.2. melatonin supplements
5.3. meditation
5.4. creating a sleep ritual to wind down
5.5. listen to calming music
5.5.1. listen to calming whale sounds
5.6. waterfall (running water) next to bed
5.7. feng shui room
5.8. soft leafy plants in room
5.9. journal (notebook with handwriting) before bed
5.10. yoga
5.10.1. get a massage
5.10.1.1. take a bath before going to bed
5.11. trying to fall asleep hugging loved ones
5.12. Getting someone to knock you unconscious!
5.13. an app that plays lullabies after you set your phone alarm
5.14. an app that plays helps you meditate yourself to sleep
5.15. the hypnosis app
5.16. plug in device that releases calming vapours into the air
5.17. initiate a process of psychoanalysis to solve compulsive behaviors problems
5.18. try to solve the discussions with partner before bedtime
5.19. have a work-life balance and avoid taking work home
5.20. accupuncture
5.20.1. EFT: emotional freedom technique
5.20.1.1. special breathing techniques
5.21. smoking a joint
6. partner brings electronics to bedroom
6.1. light
6.1.1. install curtain dividing the bed
6.1.2. dim screen
6.1.3. invent a screen tunnel (from face to screen)
6.1.4. use rock salt lamp instead of traditional lighting (purifies air + softer lighting)
6.1.5. Put a huge electromagnetic device close to your house like the one the Oceans 11 used and turn it on each night, giving a black out for several hours and a good night sleep
6.1.6. sleep in a coffin
6.1.7. Don't pay the utility bill until they cut you off
6.1.8. use candles to create a romantic mood and therefore electronics unappealing
6.1.9. Sleep in your bathroom
6.2. Make agreements with partner that bedroom is an electronics/gadget free zone!
6.2.1. put a sign outside bedroom door saying 'no phones!'
6.2.1.1. put a sign outside bedroom door saying: make love no electronics devices!