The 2-Word Trick That Makes Small Talk Interesting

1. Reasons why small talk is thought of as a drag

1.1. You wonder if the other person gets your humor

1.2. You wonder if the other person appreciates your opinions

1.3. Is the other person mentally engaged at all?

1.4. You wonder if you discover you have little in common and get stuck

2. Characteristics of an interesting conversation

2.1. Words flow back and forth effortlessly

2.2. People are fully present and happy to be there

2.3. Thoughtful questions

2.4. Real laughter

2.5. Maybe even hints of healthy disagreement

2.6. You lose yourself in the moment, and when it’s finally time to depart, you feel energized, more alive.

3. How “I’m curious.” works

3.1. Usually, the phrase is carefully placed before a good, sometimes tough question.

3.2. People become vulnerable as they open up about the failures and rough patches they’ve struggled through.

3.3. Often, they speak candidly about addiction, violence, divorce, cancer, and greed.

3.4. These types of conversations are special and rare.

3.5. What “I’m curious” does is set the other person up for success. You’re not being interrogative, as there’s no right or wrong answer. There’s no judgment, no ulterior motive. You simply want to learn.

3.6. Raz has explained before why he believes curiosity is better than intelligence.

3.7. Other popular podcast hosts, like Joe Rogan, Tim Ferriss, and Cal Fussman, also use the “I’m curious” phrase, or versions of it, in their interviews.

3.7.1. When you listen to their shows, you feel like you’re sitting in on a conversation between friends.