Things People Say About Laura Riding
by Gabriel Flynn
1. She's terribly prone to sickness...
1.1. because she's really a ghost, not meant to exist on this plane
2. She's a regular at Court!
2.1. She's blackmailing half of the names in Slowcake's Exceptionals.
2.1.1. and /that's/ where she gets her money!
3. She's entirely mad!
3.1. She once showed up to a party absolutely raving!
3.1.1. I heard she turned into a horse.
4. She's a little too familiar with Spite...
4.1. I heard she has a criminal gang working for her in secret.
5. Her lovers include...
5.1. ...her doctor
5.1.1. ...and he's unfaithful to his wife for her sake
5.1.2. ...but he's pointedly not unfaithful to his wife
5.1.2.1. Their romance is chaste and pure!
5.1.2.2. He'll sit at her bedside and /stare/ at her, and her at him.
5.2. ...the Anxious Detective
5.2.1. Not any longer! Didn't you hear about their falling-out?
5.2.2. For the final time, they're the /same person/.
5.3. ... the Cyclopean Seamstress.
5.4. ...the Ginger Inventor
5.4.1. I heard she groped him on the dancefloor!
6. She has a thriving stage career!
6.1. I heard she once played Ophelia and collapsed on stage!
6.1.1. and it was all part of the show
6.1.1.1. She understands madness better than most, after all!
6.1.2. because she was genuinely out of her head