1. 1-Sentence-Summary:
1.1. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life will revolutionize your thinking with questions that create a learning mindset.
2. Favorite quote from the author:
2.1. "I have a vision of workplaces and a society - of individuals, families, institutions, and communities - that are vibrant with the spirit of inquiry." - Marilee Adams
3. 3 lessons:
3.1. You have the power to choose your reactions, whether to learn or to judge.
3.1.1. Observe our thoughts and recognize their nature.
3.1.2. Questions like: What am I responsible for? and What are they thinking, feeling, and wanting? steer us toward rational choices, solutions, and win-win relations.
3.1.2.1. In contrast, when we ask: Why are they so stupid? or Why bother? we find ourselves stuck in a pit of judgment.
3.1.3. When you receive bad news, how should you deal with them?
3.1.3.1. Will you ask: Why am I so careless? Why am I a failure? Why Bother?
3.1.3.2. Or, instead: What happened? What are my choices? What’s best to do now?
3.1.4. Events, good and bad, flow through our lives like a river.
3.1.4.1. Paddle mindfully, and you master the ability to skirt rocks and find less turbulent waters within the rapids.
3.1.4.2. Ask learner questions that keeps you moving forward.
3.2. Like a life preserver, a switching question can save you from drowning in a pit of misery.
3.2.1. Imagine yourself at a long, rectangular conference table waiting for a meeting to begin.
3.2.1.1. Imagine the woman to your right has been rapid firing opinions and complaints about your child’s primary school, which her children previously attended.
3.2.1.2. Running through your mind are questions like, How did I get seated here? and Who does she think she is?
3.2.1.3. If you stop to think about it, you are asking yourself judger questions about a judgmental person.
3.2.1.3.1. Ironic?
3.2.2. Two judgers do not lead to possibility.
3.2.3. How can you turn the situation around?
3.2.3.1. Feelings of anger and frustration alert your observer to your judger mindset.
3.2.3.2. Shift into questions that will keep you out of the judger pit.
3.2.3.2.1. A Switching Question gives you the freedom to explore options like What does she need? and How else can I think about her?
3.2.3.2.2. When your observer wakes you up, you can flip the switch to learner mode and turn the conversation around for both of you.
3.2.4. Practice asking yourself questions like What assumptions am I making? and How can I be more objective and honest?
3.2.4.1. One Switching Question has the potential to free you and your companion from the judger pit.
3.2.4.2. Before you know it, you’ll be paddling alongside each other on calm water.
3.3. Use these twelve questions to guide your success in personal and organizational explorations.
3.3.1. When you encounter situations in which you are frustrated, feeling stuck, or want something to change, ask these questions from different perspectives.
3.3.1.1. You can substitute You and We for I.
3.3.1.2. You don’t need to ask these questions in any specific order, and not every question fits every situation.
3.3.1.3. As you regularly reference and ask queries from the list, you will find yourself traveling the learner path while opening yourself and everyone you interact with to possibility.
3.3.2. Make a copy of the list and keep it handy!
3.3.2.1. What do I want?
3.3.2.2. What are my choices?
3.3.2.3. Which assumptions am I making?
3.3.2.4. What am I responsible for?
3.3.2.5. How else can I think about this?
3.3.2.6. What is the other person thinking, feeling, and wanting?
3.3.2.7. Is there something I am missing or avoiding?
3.3.2.8. What can I learn from this person/situation/mistake/failure, success?
3.3.2.9. Which action steps make the most sense?
3.3.2.10. What questions should I ask?
3.3.2.11. How can I turn this into a win-win?
3.3.2.12. What’s possible?