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1. Ian Greig ones are good for umpires

1.1. Easier to spot deflections

2. Boxes x 3

2.1. Gives you two minutes to wash the outgoing one

3. With a brewery preferably

4. For the toss

5. Preparing, serving and washing up the tea

6. Not alcholic

6.1. Mind you Pimms would be a nice change

7. High Security Cage

8. Taking you back home after the pub closes

9. Umpires

9.1. 2 one for either end

9.2. A standby umpire is useful in case one of the others proves unable or too able to give LBWs

9.3. A 3rd umpire is of no use unless your game is being covered by the BBC, Channel 5 or Sky

9.4. Coins or small stones

9.4.1. 6 of

10. Ball

10.1. At least one new one

10.2. Maybe two

11. dsd

11.1. Preferably planted for several years

11.2. Mown recently

11.3. Covering a circle approx. 100 yards diameter

11.4. With a square

11.4.1. тьттитиьти

12. Weather

12.1. Dry

12.2. Warm

12.3. Not too hot

13. Wooden bits

13.1. Bails

13.1.1. 4 light

13.1.1.1. and a spare or two

13.1.2. 4 heavy

13.1.2.1. and a spare or two

13.1.2.2. Note for Scotsmen

13.1.2.2.1. You cannot drink these

13.2. Sightscreens

13.2.1. White

13.2.2. Taller than a bowlers arm

13.3. Boundary markers (+ rope)

13.4. Stumps x 6

13.4.1. and a spare or two

14. Players

14.1. Gentlemen

14.1.1. Do pay them

14.2. Professionals

14.2.1. Only pay them if you win

14.3. Amateur

14.3.1. Don't expect too much

14.3.2. But be prepared for a surprise

14.4. Ladies

14.4.1. It could happen

15. Tea

15.1. This also means

15.1.1. Sandwiches

15.1.2. Cake

15.1.3. Cocktail Sausages

15.1.4. Cheriton Pie if its a home game in Cheriton Hampshire

15.2. If anyone asks for coffee

15.2.1. Collect their match fee

15.2.2. And send them to Starbucks

16. Groupies

16.1. Useful for

16.1.1. Massage

17. Drinks

17.1. After 20 overs or 90 minutes play

18. Location

18.1. Next to a pub

18.1.1. And good lunch time food

18.1.2. Their evening menu should be irrellevant

18.1.2.1. Indicates a tea failure otherwise

18.2. Kids playground

18.2.1. or

18.2.1.1. Ball park

19. Kit Bag

19.1. Pads

19.1.1. Don't forget wicket keepers pads

19.1.1.1. Unless you have a 7' 6" one

19.2. Gloves

19.3. Thigh Pad

19.3.1. One - batsmen can share

19.4. Bats

19.4.1. Go on be modern and have a Moongoose

20. Laws of Cricket

20.1. Lords Version

20.2. The lesser spotted ones

20.3. Fast Bowling Directives for Young Players

20.3.1. Mods for 2010

21. Scorer

21.1. They do three things after each bal.

21.1.1. Umpires may only do one

21.2. The most under appreciated and essentail part of the game

22. Scoreboard Operator

22.1. A overly simple task

22.2. Required Competencies

22.2.1. Ability to communicate with the scorrer

22.2.2. Numeracy

22.2.3. or

22.2.3.1. Can push buttons

22.2.3.2. Pull levers

22.2.3.3. Move tin plates around

23. First Aid Kit

23.1. Tooth glue

23.2. Arnica

23.3. Duct Tape

23.3.1. Repairs

23.3.1.1. Bats

23.3.1.2. Stumps

23.3.1.3. Pads

23.3.2. Useful for splints

23.4. Pain Killers

23.4.1. Aspirin

23.4.2. Paracetemol

23.4.3. Nurofen

23.4.4. Shotgun

23.5. Burial at Field

23.5.1. Spade

23.5.2. Pick Axe

23.5.3. Roller

24. Coin

25. Practice equipment

25.1. Net

25.2. Catching

25.2.1. Trampoline

25.2.2. Cradle