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Marriage & Divorce - When I was 19, I began dating a girl from the gym that I was working at. Though she was not particularly concerned with Christian ideas when we met, she was very attracted to my beliefs. We dated for two years and got married. She professed in many ways to be a Christian and was very active in our church as well as other Christian ministries. For a long time she was very consistent in having personal devotions with God. About 8 months after we got married, her family managed to get her job with a very large company. She got the job primarily because her mother worked in the personnel department. She started as a “temp” making about seven dollars an hour. It was not long however that she made a permanent position, which paid $60,000 a year. At 21 years of age, she was making close to $80,000 per year. She was working 12-hour shifts as well as overtime. She was one of two women working with 15 men. Her ideas about life and marriage changed rapidly. She still liked me as a person but was not interested in being married. There were many other things that she wanted to do outside of marriage and needless to say she asked for a divorced. This was perhaps the most painful and difficult time of my life. Though I prayed to God earnestly, I did not feel as though God cared what was happening to me. - It was a very depressing time and I had to struggle through many faith issues. I learned that no matter how much I prayed, God would not control other people\'s decisions even when they affected me. What he did do is make for many great things that would help me through these hard times. My career helped me to move on and think about other things. Though God did not intervene in my first wife\'s decision to separate, He did take care of me. Not long after our separation I was offered a job in Macon Ga. as partner in the business. The excitement of the job helped distract me from the pain of divorce. I know that even though we must go through much pain, God does not let us go through it without help. He made it possible for me to make it through that tough time. I did not date for two years. Actually for the next 8 years I would only seriously date one girl and that was only for about six months. I knew that the relationship was probably not a good idea. She lived 8 hours away, she was much younger than me, and we did not have much in common. After a few fun but misleading months I called off the relationship. Though I had been honest about my commitment level, it still ended up being a messy break up. I was very remorseful about ever having even started a relationship that I was never truly serious about. I decided to not allow this to happen again. Four more years went by. I never felt serious about any of the relationships that came along or either they were not serious about me. I struggled with whether or not I was being too picky. The number one thing that I wanted was a relationship with someone whom I knew would take as deep a spiritual journey as I could ever want. I did not want to build a marriage on unstable ground. I had learned this lesson already. I was very persistent for many years. But being single wore me down over the years and eventually and reluctantly I gave up. I wanted to believe but my loneliness and solitude got the best of me. I figured if God really cared he would have to save me. I was ready to take measures into my own hands and hope for the best. By this I mean I was going to change my standards and not worry about spirituality. At 30 I met a new friend. He helped me \"get my groove back\". He taught me how to dress again and pumped me up with confidence. I have much to thank him for. He indeed was the spark that led to my relationship with my future wife. At this point I had already opened Columbia Gymnastics Academy and my friend was leasing some space from me to begin his own business. Since I had somewhat given up on meeting the perfect Christian girl, I opened myself up to the idea of dating girls without knowledge of their spiritual background. One of the girls that my friend was training caught my eye. It was my friend’s nature to instigate the relationship. When he let her know of my interest her first response about the man she would eventually marry was: \"Well I don\'t know, he\'s kind of old\". I was 8 years older to be exact. We look back now after years of marriage and laugh about that all the time. In summary, it turned out that the first girl that I dated with the mindset of giving up on God ended up being the perfect woman I had been waiting on for all those years. I would never recommend this approach to dating and do not feel it to be wise to romantically date someone before knowing if they are spiritually compatible. But I have to praise God in this situation. My feeling as I look back is that God had been hearing my prayers. He had mercy on me in my distress. Even though I had given up on him, he had not given up on me. I know that he knew that I had been pleading for years for Him to answer this prayer and send me a Christian woman. After only a couple of careless dates I realized that I had stumbled upon God\'s blessing in disguise. Our first “date” was actually at a bar over drinks. It was not ideal for where you might think Christians should meet together for a social time. I was definitely under some non-Christian influences at the time. At the end of the night we allowed ourselves some “quiet time” to explore which way the relationship would go. Consider that I was 30 years old and had not had a romantic relationship with a girl for at least six years. Any man would be at His wits end. As we proceeded Melody asked me one question that brought everything quickly into perspective: \"Why Me\"? She wanted to know why this highly recommended stand up Christian guy was interested in her (and behaving rather “un-Christian). This was a very humble while at the same time a very witty question. One that would help assure that my intention was pure. I proceeded to try to answer that question as we discussed everything about ourselves over the next eight hours. It was at that time that I knew God had just performed a modern day miracle. He had created a great life for me through my career while at the same time expecting me to endure much pain in single life. In the end of that chapter however, he took it all off my shoulders with the blessing of Melody. It is through trials such as these that we grow to have faith. For those who trust and endure and then receive blessing discovers the true treasure in life: a loving omnipotent God who does care about our every being. Faith comes through monitored pain relieved by God. Not only relief, but a showering of blessing that would have me willing to go back through all of the pain again to finally get where God wanted me to be. Melody and I had everything in common. On the surface consider the following similarities: we are both Christian and desire an intimate relationship with God, we are both Psychology majors and have a big interest in behavior modification, we both have a competitive gymnastics background and love the business, we both are left-handed, and have very flat feet. She and I are two peas in a pod. And this sole blessing of my wife makes me one of the richest men alive. Fortunately for all mankind God has enough to make us all rich. Eight years had passed since my divorce. Though being single until I was 30 years old was no picnic, I can honestly say today that I would not hesitate to go through the pain again if that is what it would take to find Melody. While I was single there was no way to know that I would indeed find my soul mate. The uncertainty was torturing and required consistent faith over a long period of time. Though I was ready to give up on God in this area of my life, God must have had mercy on me and decided to bless me anyway. I have to interpret this as testimony that God is loving, understanding, and cared was what happening to me.

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Testimony - Spiritual (on web)