The Upside of your dark side - Big Ideas

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The Upside of your dark side - Big Ideas by Mind Map: The Upside of your dark side - Big Ideas

1. Predicting success in recruiting Elite Special Forces

1.1. Recruiting

1.1.1. They are taken for a jog But they don't know how long it is

1.1.2. It is designed to evaluate mental toughness

1.1.3. Can they handle discomfort?

1.2. Ability to handle and tolerate psychological discomfort

1.2.1. The ultimate indicator and predictor of success

1.3. Also Check out Grit and Beast Barracks

2. We underestimate our capacity to handle distress

2.1. We can and will adapt to discomfort

2.2. And hence we try to shy away from it

3. Developing Emotional agility

3.1. Being able to handle what life throws at you

3.2. Dont just accept +ve and deny -ve

4. Living for Comfort can be Dangerous

4.1. "A nation is born Stoic but dies epicurean" - Will Durant

4.2. The major dysfunctional beliefs - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

4.2.1. I must win the approval of others

4.2.2. Others must do the right thing

4.2.3. Life must be easy

4.3. Problems are not a result of negative thoughts or feelings

4.3.1. But a result of our lack of willingness to face them

4.4. Experiential Avoidance

4.4.1. Attempts to avoid unwanted thoughts and feelings

4.4.2. We avoid any action that will give us short term discomfort even though the action might lead to long term gains and fulfillment

5. Emotions are not good or bad in general

5.1. We can't selectively numb feelings

5.1.1. If we numb -ve We also numb +ve

5.2. People avoid -ve feelings because

5.2.1. They underestimate their ability to handle stress and negative feelings

5.3. ANGER

5.3.1. Its all about what you do with it

5.3.2. It prepares us to deal with threats Atheletes Psych themselves up using anger

5.3.3. High arousal Can help spark creativity


5.4.1. Anxiety can narrow your thinking and make you hyper focussed Extreme awareness Tuning out everything else Hyper focussed You need that at times Not all the times It is not always bad

5.4.2. Also Check out "Buddha's brain" and managing our Nervous System to get the best out of ourselves

5.5. Harness the power of negative emotions

5.5.1. Anger = enhances courage

5.5.2. Anxiety = Enhances awareness

6. Emotional Labelling

6.1. Nietzsche said: "Language dictates consciousness"

6.2. Get clear on the emotions you are feeling any moment

6.2.1. Be very precise Comes with practice

6.3. But Don't get tangled up

6.4. Give it a name/label

6.4.1. This loosens it's grip on us

6.5. Differentiate as much as you can

6.5.1. You will experience a much richer life and range