1. Mind Whispering
1.1. Shifting the Lens
1.1.1. Mindful Habit Change
1.1.2. Our Inner Stick Shift
1.1.3. Rebooting
1.1.4. The Choice Point
1.2. Art of Whispering
1.2.1. A Wise Choice
1.2.2. A Calming Pause
1.2.2.1. Dealing with an Example: Potentially Frightening Situation such as interior decorator at client's house who forgot Alarm Code when the alarm went off and she feared she'd be arrested when police arrived.
1.2.2.1.1. 1. Calming Breath brings us to:
1.2.2.1.2. 2.. Awareness (drenpa) which...
1.2.2.1.3. 3. knows what is needed (the insight of sesshin).
1.2.2.1.4. 4. Her Wise Choice had allowed her to observe her breath.
1.2.2.1.5. 5. When she'd been able to calm her anxiety, a a lightbulb lit in her mind, providing the exact solution to prevent catastrophe.
1.2.3. "What does this mode need?"
1.2.3.1. GPS "Recalculating"
1.2.3.2. Playfulness
1.2.3.3. 1. Bring Mode Into Clear Light of Awareness. 2. Apply corrective antidote, a positive or more useful alternative.
1.2.3.3.1. Apply Various Remedies from Recalculation Menu Customised for Each person
1.2.4. The Habit of Habit Change
1.2.4.1. Make a habit out of changing detrimental patterns.
1.2.4.2. You don't have to tackle modes right off the bat: Even shifting a minor routine strengthens your confidence in being able to change. Example: Eliminate the Facebook News Feed by installing the Google Chrome Extension "Kill News Feed" or better yet, "News Feed Eradicator" which replaces the news feed with an inspiring quote.
1.2.4.3. Start with something small and easy to accomplish. Take baby steps towards your goals. Intend to become more and mindful every day. She's got a great example regarding making your bed in the moment.
1.2.4.4. "As you change the habit of being distracted during ordinary routines to using them to sharpen Awareness, it enhances your general capacity to spot and challenge your mode ruts. Each time you notice a habitual reaction and make a change for the better, you strengthen neural pathways that support the new response. Plus, you send a message to the brain that will make you more likely to tackle more entrenched mode habits.
1.2.4.5. "With awareness alone, we may see that we are caught in modes, but they may continue to play out. By adding discernment and a Wise Choice, we are more likely to find ways to interrupt their compulsive agendas."
1.2.5. I am not my Modes
1.2.5.1. Modes are like passing clouds.
1.2.5.2. "These overwhelming feelings are just patterns of habitual emotional reactions, not who I really am."
1.2.5.3. Mindful presence can allow our Wisdom Faculty, Creative Genius and Clear solutions to naturally arise.
1.3. Mindful Overseer
1.3.1. The Mind's Manager.
1.3.2. Discernment
1.3.2.1. "The worst impacts of ruminating are when someone feels both helpless to change things positively and has an intense yearning for things to get better. In one study, these people were depressed were just as depressed a year later. But those who had the discernment to see that they had a range of options and what outcomes they might be when they felt upset were less depressed.
1.3.2.2. Discernment helps us learn from challenges, so we're able to reflect calmly and see the situation from many angles - especially from another person's - and take action where we can.
1.3.3. ReAppraisal
1.3.4. The Mind's Overseer
1.3.5. Applied Mindfulness
1.3.6. Sustaining Attention
1.3.7. The Prefrontal Cortex: Brain's Conductor and Orchestra Members
1.3.7.1. The Attender directs our attention, determining what we notice and don't notice. Function: Attention
1.3.7.2. The Perceiver refines our sense of the world by detecting patterns and meaning in what we notice. Function: Appraisal.
1.3.7.3. The Verbalizer puts what we notice into words and tells us the stories that help us comprehend what we perceive. Function: Understanding.
1.3.7.4. The Motivator attaches emotions to what we perceive and so makes some things more important than others, determining what we care about. Function: Drive.
1.3.7.5. The Coordinator puts together our perceptions, understanding, and feelings, decides what to do, and then guides our actions. Functions: Decision and Execution.
1.4. Mode Work
1.4.1. Perspective
1.4.2. Being Present with Heart
1.4.3. What is Behind Our Modes?
1.4.4. Boundaries
1.4.5. In the Danger Zone
1.4.6. Voices of the Mode
1.4.7. The Overseer and Habit Change
1.4.8. Mode Correctives
1.4.8.1. ATTACHED: to apply restraint to impulse, to be self-contained and content; to be generous and disenchanted.
1.4.8.2. AVERSIVE: to be patient and accepting, to empathize and understand others.
1.4.8.3. BEWILDERED: to bring clarity, investigative inquiry, and a discerning attention to situations.
1.4.8.4. ANXIOUS: to challenge exaggerated fears - particularly that a distance means you are losing the connection to a person - and to be more self-contained in your relationships.
1.4.8.5. AVOIDANT: to feel safe confronting intense emotions, and to become more comfortable with intimacy and closeness.
1.4.8.6. PREDATOR-LIKE: to empathize and to consider other people's needs and wants rather than imposing an agenda, to be open to honest feedback, and to take responsibility rather than blaming others.
1.4.8.7. PREY-LIKE: to be assertive in expressing your needs and rights strongly and clearly, and to connect with your own preferences.
1.4.8.8. PERFECTIONIST: to relax and be more accepting of yourself and others, to be more spontaneous, and to balance productivity with taking care of yourself.
1.5. Priming our Secure Base
1.5.1. Safe Haven
1.5.2. The Power of Love
1.5.3. Look for the Helpers
1.5.4. When the Mind Expands
1.5.5. Energetic Flows
1.5.6. Cultivating Lovingkindness
1.5.6.1. May I accept myself as I am.
1.5.6.2. May I be safe and feel secure.
1.5.6.3. May I be patient, tolerant and kind.
1.5.6.4. May I be calm and clear.
1.5.6.5. May I be free from anxious clinging.
1.5.6.6. May I be free from avoidance.
1.5.6.7. May I experience this moment as genuinely as possible, beyond pretense, beyond defense.
1.5.6.8. May negative modes subside.
1.5.6.9. May positive modes increase.
1.5.6.10. May I be free from suffering and the root causes of suffering: attachment, aversion and bewilderment.
1.5.6.11. May I have happiness and the causes of happiness: Kindness, Compassion and Insight.
1.6. Training the Mind
1.6.1. Calming the Mind
1.6.2. One-Pointedness
1.6.3. Mindfulness Training
1.6.4. Identifying Feelings
1.6.5. The Lama and the Lotus
1.7. Wise Heart
1.7.1. Meditative Arts
1.7.2. 6 Signs of Wise Compassion
1.7.2.1. 1. Generosity
1.7.2.2. 2. Ethics
1.7.2.3. 3. Patience
1.7.2.4. 4. Vitality
1.7.2.5. 5. Concentration
1.7.2.6. 6. Wisdom
1.7.3. Waking Up
1.7.4. Teachings of Life Experiences
1.8. Physics of Emotion
1.8.1. Chocolate Mindfulness
1.8.2. Tracking the Chain
1.8.3. The Bare Facts
1.8.4. Everyday Habits
1.8.5. Unhooking
1.8.6. De-Linking
1.8.7. The Two Levels
1.8.8. Wise Reflection
1.8.9. Signs of Progress
1.8.9.1. Am I less reactive and more resilient? More understanding, clear, tolerant?
1.8.9.2. Do I spend less time caught up in preoccupations and self-concerns and have more time available for others?
1.8.9.3. Do I have fewer conflicts or less tension with the people in my life?
1.8.9.4. When a negative mode stirs, do I recognize it in myself? In other people?
1.8.9.5. Am I less defined by my limiting modes and more understanding of others when they are in the grip of their modes?
1.8.9.6. Is the secure mode my reference point more frequently than my insecure modes?
1.8.9.7. Is my attention more free for creative, meaningful and compassionate pursuits?
1.8.10. Practice Guidance: "I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own Being." - Hafiz
1.8.10.1. Outer Space, Inner Space
1.8.10.2. Subtle Mode Primes
1.8.10.3. From Bewilderment to Wakefulness
1.8.10.4. Staying Awake
1.8.10.5. Exploring Dissatisfaction
1.8.10.6. Clarifying Anger: elephantjournal.com/2015/12/why-anger-is-good-for-you-3-types-of-anger/
2. Modes of Being
2.1. The Lotus Effect
2.1.1. Lotus from Mud
2.1.2. Patterns that Connect
2.1.2.1. Horse-Whispering
2.1.2.1.1. Deep Connection/One Being/Shared CoCoon
2.1.2.1.2. Keep engaging and retreating to communicate with horse.
2.1.2.1.3. Point and Turn away "Core Energy" from our abdomen towards and from horse.
2.1.2.1.4. Natural Presence
2.1.2.2. HorseMindShip Workshops: http://www.peacehavenfarm.org/
2.1.2.3. Deep Sense of Well-being, Security, Receptivity Pervading Our Hearts = 1. Positive Qualities 2. Peak Performance 3. Open ourselves to Deep Resonance with Others.
2.1.3. A New Lens on the Mind
2.1.3.1. Modes: Beyond Deep Emotional Patterns They are Distinct Orchestrations of how we feel and think, what we desire and where we focus our attention
2.1.3.1.1. Example: "Oh I missed the train." Versus "The train hates me. I don't deserve to get on the train."
2.1.3.2. Some modes OPEN us up to Delight and Wisdom; Others CLOSE us down into fear, despair and self-pity.
2.1.3.3. Our modes dictate what we notice and what we do not, and so creates our subjective world.
2.1.3.4. Three Modes.
2.1.3.4.1. 1. The Maladaptive where our dysfunctions rule.
2.1.3.4.2. 2. Adaptive Zone where we are at our everyday best.
2.1.3.4.3. 3. Further Spectrum that moves us to a Lightness of Being.
2.1.3.5. Individual Mind Whispering or "Mindful Habit Change"
2.1.3.5.1. 1. Shift Negative Mode into a more Positive Range.
2.1.3.5.2. 2. Transmute Negative Mode through Mode Work.
2.1.3.5.3. 3. Transcend their Negative Qualities and Strengthen their Positive Elements.
2.1.3.5.4. Mind Whispering adapts this triad of approaches.
2.1.3.6. Collective Mind Whispering
2.1.3.6.1. Heal Divides by inviting all parties into a Shared Secure Mode.
2.1.3.6.2. Emotions are a force that can separate or connect.
2.1.3.6.3. Explore how partners, families, groups, communities and nations can share a way of being that guides perception, understanding, and action.
2.1.4. Unseen Forces
2.1.5. Evolving Emotions
2.2. World of Modes and Why they Matter
2.2.1. NeuroScience of Habit
2.2.2. Phase Transitions
2.2.3. Perceiving Anew
2.2.4. Recognizing our Modes
2.2.5. Acceptance (Or...Allowance?)
2.3. Root Causes
2.3.1. Noticing Clues
2.3.2. The Primal Choice
2.3.3. Fight, Flight...or Freeze
2.4. Insecure Connections
2.4.1. The Avoidant Mode
2.4.2. The Anxious Mode
2.4.3. Modes in the Brain
2.5. An Evolutionary Arms Race
2.5.1. The Herd Hierarchy
2.5.2. Empathic Pauses
2.5.3. Beyond Melting Down
2.5.4. An Evolutionary Upgrade
2.6. Traps, Triggers, and Core Beliefs
2.6.1. Duty Bound
2.6.2. Mode Extremes
2.6.3. Core Beliefs
2.6.4. Triggers
2.6.4.1. 1. Fear of Abandonment: (I'll be terrified if I am alone)
2.6.4.2. 2. Emotional Deprivation: (No one cares)
2.6.4.3. 3. Subjugation: (My wishes or feelings don't count).
2.6.4.4. 4. Self-Sacrifice: (I must put everyone else's needs first)
2.6.4.5. 5. Unlovability: (I am deeply flawed).
2.6.4.6. 6. Social Exclusion: (I don't fit in).
2.6.4.7. 7. Vulnerability: (Bad things will happen).
2.6.4.8. 8. Unrelenting standards: (I must do better at all costs)
2.6.4.9. 9. Fear of Failure: (I don't have what it takes)
2.6.4.10. 10. Entitlement: (I'm Special)
2.7. The Evolution of Emotion
2.7.1. Robin's Story
2.7.2. Authentic Connection
2.7.3. Positivity
2.7.4. Finding our Strengths
2.7.5. Recognizing Modes
2.7.5.1. Type of Modes
2.7.5.1.1. 1. ATTACHED (I want): Greedy Yearning. Grasping + Clinging
2.7.5.1.2. 2. AVERSIVE (I don't want): Negativity, anger, resentment. Sees faults, makes harsh judgments, and rejects.
2.7.5.1.3. 3. BEWILDERED (I don't understand): Feelings of Confusion, agitation, indecision, indifference
2.7.5.1.4. 4. PREDATOR-LIKE (I'm the boss: I'm special): Extreme Confidence or Grandiosity. Arrogance, Condescension, or a Lack of Empathy.
2.7.5.1.5. 5. PREY-LIKE (I must do whatever others want): Helplessness. Passivity. Acquiescence to Demands.
2.7.5.1.6. 6. AVOIDANT (Stay away): Numbness. A withdrawal from people. Avoidance of Emotions.
2.7.5.1.7. 7. PERFECTIONIST (I must meet the highest standards and do my duty): Guilt, self-judgement, duty-bound lack of spontaneity.
2.7.5.1.8. 8. SECURE (I am safe, capable,resilient, positive, connected): Security, Repletion, Happiness, and Openness to Others. Acts with Confidence and Flexibility.
2.7.5.2. Generals Signs of a Negative Mode
2.7.5.2.1. Distorted thinking, ruminations or confusion.
2.7.5.2.2. Volatile Emotional Reactivity.
2.7.5.2.3. A Shrinking Attention Span. The Mode reactions fill the Space of Awareness, Crowding out everything else. We perceive things through the Mode Lens.
2.7.5.2.4. 1. Other Activities shunted out as the mode habits dictate what we do. 2. Impulse to do what we may regret later. 3. We're defensive.
2.7.5.2.5. Our Interactions with Others Narrowing to the Issues of the Mode.
3. Tending to the Whispers of the World
3.1. 2 of Me, 2 of You
3.1.1. When Modes Fall In Love
3.1.2. Couple Modes
3.1.3. Together in a Better Mode
3.1.4. Mode Lock
3.1.4.1. "Story of the Weeping Camel" Movie
3.1.4.2. Resonance to Reconnect
3.1.4.3. Entrainment of Pendulums leading to Synchronization and "Mode-Locking"
3.1.4.4. CranioSacral Therapy also applies this Principle.
3.1.4.5. Someone in a secure mood can be a soothing Influence on us, simply through her mere Presence.
3.1.4.6. "If we are stable in our own positive mode, we can be senders of Good Feeling, not just passive absorbers of other people's bad moods. This can give us a larger range of choices in how we take in their states, what feelings are evoked in us, and how we respond."
3.1.4.7. "We can keep our cool, and with a mode lock, help a friend who is melting down be calm rather than get caught up in that person's distress."
3.1.5. We are NOT our Modes.
3.2. Joined at the Heart
3.2.1. Heart Whispering
3.2.2. The Two Way Street
3.2.3. Virtual Connections
3.3. A Shared Secure Base
3.3.1. A Gentle Path
3.3.2. The Giraffe and the Jackal
3.3.3. Beneath the Differences
3.3.4. A Revolution of the Heart
3.3.5. Setting Intention
3.4. Transformative Power of the Arts
3.4.1. A Soulful Spirit
3.4.2. The Spirit of Service
3.4.3. Connecting through the Arts
3.5. Collective Whispering
3.5.1. A Universal Language
3.5.2. From them to Us
3.5.3. Collective Mode Work
3.5.4. Melting Us and Them
3.5.5. Collaboration
3.5.6. Us
3.6. Connected at the Source
3.6.1. How did we get here?
3.6.2. Awakening Compassion
3.6.3. Dissolving into the Great Expanse