Satirist

1. George Bernard

1.1. A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

1.2. A happy family is but an earlier heaven.

1.3. When a man says money can do anything, that settles it: he hasn't got any.

1.4. When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.

1.5. You cannot be a hero without being a coward.

2. Mark Twain

2.1. All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

2.2. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

2.3. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

2.4. We are all alike, on the inside.

2.5. What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

2.6. When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

2.7. When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

3. Voltaire

3.1. Common sense is not so common.

3.2. To hold a pen is to be at war.

3.3. History should be written as philosophy.

3.4. I hate women because they always know where things are.

3.5. Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others?

3.6. It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.

4. Jonathan Swift

4.1. Books, the children of the brain.

4.2. Every dog must have his day.

4.3. Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.

4.4. I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

4.5. I've always believed no matter how many shots I miss, I'm going to make the next one.

4.6. Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age.

4.7. May you live all the days of your life.

5. Oscar Wilde

5.1. A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

5.2. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

5.3. A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.

5.4. A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

5.5. A true friend stabs you in the front.

5.6. An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him.