FREE PDF Version The Black Ball

This map will help you to identify shame and release your 'Black Ball'. To download a free copy of my book head to www.blackballbook.com

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FREE PDF Version The Black Ball by Mind Map: FREE PDF Version  The Black Ball

1. Not Taking a Stand for What's Right

1.1. Remaining silent when you witness abuses

1.2. Not encouraging people to express their differing views

2. Only taking action in a group, not as an individual

3. Achievement

3.1. Lack of effort

3.1.1. Expecting you are entitled to what you want

3.1.2. Wanting results without putting in effort (work, relationships)

3.1.3. Acting like you don't care

3.1.4. Disregarding others achievements

3.2. Jealousy

3.2.1. Coveting someone else's life

3.2.2. Talking poorly about those who have more than you

3.2.3. Eager for other peoples’ collapse or demise

3.2.4. Bragging that you are more in finance and career than you are

3.2.5. Bragging that your relationship is more than what it is

3.3. Sabatage

3.3.1. Not giving good efforts consistently

3.3.2. Not trying because you already see failure

3.3.3. Deliberately making someone else look bad

3.3.4. Doing something to ruin your own opportunity (low self-worth related)

4. Belonging

4.1. Treatment to Others

4.1.1. Bullying

4.1.2. Harassing

4.1.3. Condescending

4.1.4. Lying and false praise

4.1.5. Shifting your needs to an expectation for someone else to fulfill

4.2. Treatment to Self

4.2.1. Hurt yourself mentally and physically

4.2.2. Change diet to fit into a certain group

4.2.3. Not be authentic to self to belong somewhere else

4.2.4. Afraid to show your genuine self

4.2.5. Lying to emulate others’ expectations of you

5. Competitiveness

5.1. Dirty Moves

5.1.1. Cheating to win

5.1.2. Drawing attention to others wrongdoings

5.1.3. Sabotaging others

5.2. Self-Centeredness

5.2.1. Control freak

5.2.2. Always making sure you’re in the spotlight

5.2.3. Taking all the credit

5.2.4. Not inviting others in to opportunities (sports, work, self-growth, etc.)

5.3. Deceitfulness

5.3.1. False caring for personal gain

5.3.2. Misrepresentation of information

5.3.3. Deliberate actions to harm another

6. Conviction

6.1. Poor Moral Compass

6.1.1. Don’t stick to what you stand for

6.1.2. Make choices based on emotions, not considering after effects

6.1.3. Acting like you don’t care just to hide how much you do care

6.2. Not Adhering to Values

6.2.1. Taking actions contrary to what you really want

6.2.2. Letting fear dictate your choices

6.2.3. Giving others passes with topics that are high value to you

6.3. My Way or the Highway Attitude

6.3.1. Leaving no room for compromise with peers

6.3.2. Leaving no room for discussion with family

6.3.3. Humiliating and degrading those who feel differently than you

7. Courage

7.1. Guilt Over Flee Instinct

7.1.1. Knowing you’ve walked away when you should have stayed

7.1.2. Remaining quiet when you feared the results of speaking your truth

8. Dependency

8.1. Addictions

8.1.1. Drugs

8.1.2. Alcoho

8.1.3. Food

8.2. On Others

8.2.1. Putting up with bad treatment out of fear

8.2.2. Allowing yourself to be manipulated

8.2.3. Desperation to please others

9. Endurance

9.1. Quit Easily

9.1.1. At goals

9.1.2. In relationships

9.1.3. At jobs due to lack of satisfaction

9.2. Poor Health Choices

9.2.1. Eating or drinking foods that make you ill

9.2.2. Turning your back to hard work to make good changes

9.2.3. Finding comfort in unhealthy things

9.3. Flight Instinct

9.3.1. Hurt them before they hurt you in a relationship

9.3.2. Expect your “doom’s day” to come

9.3.3. Have a fight and then take flight

9.3.4. Growing angry with others for addressing their emotions

9.3.5. Diverting situations to cast blame to others

10. Envy

10.1. Casting Blame

10.1.1. Using “if only I’d…” as an excuse

10.1.2. Saying others made you fail

10.1.3. Too ashamed to look in the mirror

10.1.4. Your environment

10.1.5. Your upbringing

10.2. Outlashing

10.2.1. Being angry at everyone to cover your sadness

10.2.2. Flying off the handle in a rage easily

10.2.3. Hoping someone’s new relationship flops

10.2.4. Hoping someone’s new job sucks

10.3. Manipulation

10.3.1. Preying on others weaknesses to get your way

10.3.2. Lying or exaggerating to gain false sympathy

10.3.3. Placing your joy as an expectation of others to fulfill

11. Fear

11.1. Not Speaking up

11.1.1. Self-preservation is more important than your voice

11.1.2. Not sharing good ideas out of fear of rejection

11.1.3. Feeling you don’t have a voice worth hearing

11.2. Embarrassment over Actions

11.2.1. Being around co-workers/family when you’ve lost control

11.2.2. Losing composure due to influence of drugs/alcohol

11.2.3. Sharing feelings that were not returned

11.2.4. Lashing out at others for not agreeing with you

11.3. Guilt from harm Done to others

11.3.1. Injuring another intentionally

11.3.2. Injuring another unintentionally

11.3.3. Saying words that damaged a relationship

11.3.4. Contributing to someone else’s problems/challenges

12. Freedom

12.1. Incarceration

12.1.1. Embarrassment

12.1.2. Fear of rejection

12.1.3. Fierce privacy

12.2. Life Impacted by Someone Else's Incarceration

12.2.1. Parents not there

12.2.2. Spouse serving time

12.2.3. Children getting into trouble

12.3. Financial Freedom

12.3.1. Poor financial management

12.3.2. Lack of “experiences”

12.3.3. Struggling to make it paycheck to paycheck

12.4. Emotional Freedom

12.4.1. Allowing others to define your value

12.4.2. Not forgiving others

12.4.3. Not forgiving yourself

12.5. Time Freedom

12.5.1. Staying busy to avoid dealing with issues

12.5.2. Having to work unusually long hours to pay bills

12.5.3. Poor time management

12.5.4. Addiction to TV and electronic devices

13. Harmony

13.1. Drama

13.1.1. Start it

13.1.2. Embrace it

13.1.3. Fuel it

13.2. Attention

13.2.1. If you’re happy everyone can be happy

13.2.2. Not seeking personal harmony to make someone else happy

13.2.3. Bossing people around

13.3. False testimony

13.3.1. Saying “I’m fine,” when you are not

13.3.2. Passing up on opportunities to talk from the heart and mind

13.3.3. Lying to someone else to make them feel better

14. Integrity

14.1. Trustworthyness

14.1.1. Others trusting you

14.1.2. Your trust for others

14.2. Sticking to Commitments

14.2.1. Reliability

14.2.2. Courage

14.2.3. Confidence

14.3. Best Interests

14.3.1. Best choices over easy choices

14.3.2. Honesty over lies

14.3.3. Hard work over cutting corners

15. Manipulation

15.1. Forcing Outcomes

15.1.1. Loved ones

15.1.2. Friends

15.1.3. Family

15.1.4. Professional peers

15.2. Hurting Others

15.2.1. Words

15.2.2. Actions

15.2.3. Decisions

15.3. Hurting Yourself

15.3.1. Putting off necessary self-work

15.3.2. Increasing expectations on others

16. Parenting

16.1. Abandonment

16.1.1. Not present parent

16.1.2. Never knew parent

16.1.3. Adoption

16.2. Abusive

16.2.1. The abuser

16.2.2. The abused

16.3. Personal Demons

16.3.1. Finding fulfillment through kids

16.3.2. Being what your parents weren’t to you

16.3.3. Not looking at kids as individuals, but as property

16.4. Insecurity

16.4.1. Will I mess them up?

16.4.2. Am I doing the right thing?

16.4.3. What if they make a mistake?

17. Sacrifice

17.1. Martyr Complex

17.1.1. You can only rely on you

17.1.2. Trying to do it all and expecting appreciation for it

17.1.3. Hyper-focus on all you do

17.2. Feeling Unappreciated

17.2.1. Putting self-worth on what you do

17.2.2. Feeling the world owes you because of what you do

17.2.3. Willing to accept false appreciation from people because you made them feel bad

18. Spirituality

18.1. Faith

18.1.1. Afraid to think of more

18.1.2. Desires to see, not just believe

18.1.3. Wanting the contentment others have

18.1.4. Lashing out at the thought of a higher power

18.1.5. Intensive efforts to not have faith

18.2. Lack of Belief in Anything

18.2.1. God or higher powers are cruel

18.2.2. Coping with hurt

18.2.3. Dealing with loss

18.2.4. Focusing anger on no higher power

18.3. Not Feeling Presence of Higher Power

18.3.1. Unknown purpose

18.3.2. Lacking passion and drive

18.3.3. No inspiration in the world around you

18.3.4. Too much bad happens, not enough good

19. Trust

19.1. In Yourself

19.1.1. Bad choices

19.1.2. Prolonged suffering

19.1.3. Inability to say “no”

19.2. In Others

19.2.1. More than yourself

19.2.2. Never

19.2.3. Makes you too vulnerable

19.3. In Systems

19.3.1. Lack of control

19.3.2. Works for others, not for you

19.3.3. Confining

20. Acceptance

20.1. Poor Choices

20.1.1. Relationships

20.1.2. Careers

20.1.3. Finances

20.1.4. Health

20.2. Unsafe Situations

20.2.1. Drunk driving

20.2.2. Placing self in harm

20.2.3. Drug addictions

20.3. Mental Wellness

20.3.1. Depression

20.3.2. Social disorders

20.3.3. Food addictions

20.4. Scars

20.4.1. Suicide attemps

20.4.2. Cutting

20.4.3. Accidents

20.4.4. Emotional

20.4.5. Surgeries

21. Accountability

21.1. Decisions

21.1.1. Thinking only with the mind

21.1.2. Short term ease over long term gain

21.2. Non-action

21.2.1. Not owning up to mistakes

21.2.2. Keeping quiet when you have something to say

21.2.3. Devaluing your worth/intelligence (work, home socially)

21.3. Hurtful words

21.3.1. Apologizing when necessary

21.3.2. Granting forgiveness when necessary

21.3.3. Taking your frustration out on others

21.3.4. Targeting vulnerable people (weaker than you, children etc)

21.4. Hurtful actions

21.4.1. Screaming at others

21.4.2. Blaming others

21.4.3. Hurting yourself physically

21.4.4. Downgrading yourself emotionally

21.4.5. Placing yourself in physical or emotional danger

22. Conformity

22.1. Pretending to be Someone Else

22.1.1. Losing self-identity

22.1.2. Participating in behaviors that are contrary to values

22.1.3. Feeling fitting in means more than being your authentic self

22.2. Forcing Others to Conform to You

22.2.1. Not accepting others for who they are

22.2.2. Limiting growth by surrounding yourself with like-mindedness

22.2.3. Being inconsiderate to opposing viewpoints and opinions

22.3. Ego-driven

22.3.1. Keeping up with the Joneses syndrome

22.3.2. It’s #1 or you’re done

22.4. Deliberately Antagonise

22.4.1. Force yourself to act out in order to stand out

22.4.2. Argue just to argue

22.4.3. Heckle and insult those who are not like you

23. Correctness

23.1. Conceit

23.1.1. Never admit flaws

23.1.2. Quick to blame others

23.1.3. Having a “me” for the victory, “we” for the solution attitude

23.2. Condescending Acts

23.2.1. Thinking lesser of others due to education

23.2.2. Assuming people are lazy when they don’t adhere to your standards

23.3. Beat yourself up for mistakes you would easily forgive others for

23.4. Overly Self-Critical

23.4.1. Smother yourself in a demand for perfectionism

23.4.2. Act like you have nothing to offer

24. Dependability

24.1. Promises Kept

24.1.1. Follow-through failures with work

24.1.2. Follow-through failures with relationships

24.2. Self Dependability

24.2.1. Not adhering to goals you set

24.2.2. Missing out on events because of addiction issues

24.2.3. Giving yourself no expectations for success

25. Emotions

25.1. Poor Self-Esteem

25.1.1. Embrace the negative qualities people bestow upon you

25.1.1.1. Reject positive attributes people bestow upon you

25.2. Anger

25.2.1. At yourself for feeling like a “loser”

25.2.2. At others for holding you back

25.2.3. At your life situation

25.3. Disconnected

25.3.1. No one else cares, so why try

25.3.2. No one understands me

25.3.3. Coping mechanisms

26. Enjoyment

26.1. Lingering Guilt

26.1.1. Sabotaging your happiness because you don’t feel worthy

26.1.2. Creating financial strain by material obsession

26.1.3. Never fully enjoying life because Black Balls weigh you down

26.1.3.1. You didn’t earn it so you shouldn’t enjoy it

26.2. Feelings of Not Being Worthy

26.2.1. Your friends and family deserve better than you

26.2.2. Disconnected from your life’s “why”

27. Family

27.1. Mental Abuse

27.1.1. Yelling, not talking

27.1.2. Negative words

27.1.3. No effort

27.1.4. No feelings of security

27.1.5. No self-forgiveness

27.1.6. No forgiveness of abuser

27.2. Physical Abuse

27.2.1. Escalated situations

27.2.2. Scars

27.2.2.1. Lying to others about what happened

27.2.3. Bruises

27.2.4. Broken bones

27.2.5. Will not forgive abuser

27.3. Sexual Abuse

27.3.1. Feeling bad if it felt good

27.3.2. Will not forgive self

27.3.3. Fear of talking

27.3.4. Not wanting to be judged

27.3.5. Lying to others to keep it secret

27.3.6. Lack of forgiveness to yourself

27.3.7. Lack of forgiveness to your abuser

27.4. Poverty

27.4.1. Embarrassment for parents’ struggles

27.4.2. Embarrassment for your own struggles

27.4.3. Feeling you will always be in poverty

27.4.4. Not daring to dream big out of fear

27.4.5. Not taking big actions out of fear

27.5. Lack of Love

27.5.1. Not sure why your parents had you

27.5.2. Don’t add up to siblings achievements

27.5.3. Not the “favorite” child

28. Fitness

28.1. Lack of Self-Care

28.1.1. Claiming no time

28.1.2. Not wanting to admit the work you need to do

28.2. Lack of Love

28.2.1. Feeling good may not bring you happiness

28.2.2. Achieving a fitness goal may not change your life

28.2.3. You don’t deserve to feel great about yourself

28.3. Desiring to be Unseen (Insecurities)

28.3.1. Hiding behind vices (food/drugs/ alcohol) so you’re not attractive

28.3.2. Fearful of interaction with others

29. Friendship

29.1. Betrayal

29.1.1. Wronging someone else

29.1.2. Someone else wronging you

29.1.3. Stepping back from helping friend in need even if it was for your own good

29.1.4. Stepping away from helping a friend because you just didn’t want to

29.2. Distrust

29.2.1. Setting others up for failure

29.2.2. Setting yourself up for failure

29.3. Poor Choices

29.3.1. Not surrounding yourself with success

29.3.2. Placing yourself in a non-stimulating environment

29.3.3. Relapsing into old habits when you have a bad day

30. Honesty

30.1. Lying to Yourself

30.1.1. Pretending things are okay

30.1.2. Saying you’ll wake up and start an addiction-free life

30.1.3. Denying your own emotional and mental needs

30.1.4. Refusing needed help

30.2. Lying to Others

30.2.1. Not admitting struggles when asked

30.2.2. Pretending to be in control

30.3. Loss Through Dishonesty

30.3.1. Pushing people away

30.3.2. Denying when caught in a lie

30.3.3. Blaming others for your shortcomings until they leave

31. Intuitiveness

31.1. Lack of Trust in Own Instincts

31.1.1. Relationships

31.1.2. Common sense daily situations

31.1.3. Struggle to accept what’s good for the long-term

31.2. Ignoring Instincts

31.2.1. Dangerous situations

31.2.2. Broken heart

31.2.3. Bad relationships

31.2.4. Wrong job choices

32. Marriage/Relationship

32.1. Infidelity

32.1.1. Before marriage

32.1.2. During marriage

32.1.3. Secrets and lies

32.2. Sexual Addiction

32.2.1. Shame

32.2.2. Compulsion

32.2.3. Hiding it

32.2.4. Secrets and lies

32.3. Feelings of Lack

32.3.1. With relationship

32.3.2. In marriage

32.3.3. With self

32.4. Communication

32.4.1. Failed communication on your end

32.4.2. No communication

32.4.3. Arguments

32.4.4. Not sure about so much responsibility

32.4.5. Defensive conversations

32.5. Doubts

32.5.1. Not meant to be married

32.5.2. Not meant to be a parent

32.6. Extreme Dependency

32.6.1. Feeling your life is over if your relationship is

32.6.2. Putting up with poor treatment for financial stability

32.6.3. Remaining with someone because it’s better than being alone

32.7. Parenting

32.7.1. Overly protective

32.7.2. Compensating

32.7.3. Wrong choice

32.7.4. Overwhelming

33. Power

33.1. Use of Power

33.1.1. Manipulation

33.1.2. Control

33.1.3. Gaining power

33.2. Out of Control

33.2.1. Desperation to have power

33.2.2. Surrendering all power and not caring

34. Sexuality

34.1. Sexually Addicted

34.1.1. Shame

34.1.2. Excitement

34.1.3. Lack of contro

34.2. Diseases

34.2.1. Have had STDs

34.2.2. Have given others STDs

34.3. Gender Confusions

34.3.1. Desires to be the other sex

34.3.2. Feeling inadequate when compared to other women or men

34.4. Sexual Orientation Confusion

34.4.1. Born the wrong sex

34.4.2. Embarrassment

34.4.3. Bottled up emotions

34.4.4. Unhealthy releases

34.5. Experimentation

34.5.1. Uncertainty

34.5.2. Held back desire

34.5.3. Unhealthy ideas

34.5.4. Embarrassment

34.6. Sterility

34.6.1. Conceiving issues

34.6.2. Feeling inadequate

34.6.3. Lack of pleasure

34.7. Self Worth

34.7.1. Seeking instant gratification

34.7.2. Not thinking you’re a valued treasure

34.7.3. Putting yourself in situations you are not comfortable with

34.7.4. Releasing guilt from sexual assault

34.7.5. Releasing guilt of abortion

34.7.6. Releasing guilt from rape

34.8. Unhealthy Cravings

34.8.1. Wanting illegal sexual acts

34.8.2. Pornography addiction

34.8.3. Sex addiction

35. Success

35.1. Self-Evaluation

35.1.1. Poor attempts

35.1.2. Laziness

35.1.3. Always overlooked

35.2. Compare and Contrast

35.2.1. Not as good as others

35.2.2. Under appreciated

35.3. Getting a "Raw Deal"

35.3.1. The world is against you

35.3.2. Expectations without action

35.3.3. Discrimination

35.3.4. Discrediting your skills

35.3.5. Define success by others

36. Wealth

36.1. Mindset

36.1.1. Lacking

36.1.2. False abundance

36.1.3. Unhealthy

36.2. Self-Worth

36.2.1. Low

36.2.2. Undervalued

36.3. Materialism

36.3.1. Long for despite not fulfilling

36.3.2. Cling to

36.3.3. Sacrifice in other areas to have

36.4. Compulsive Behaviours

36.4.1. Gambling

36.4.2. Sex

36.4.3. No control over finances