\"Yes! Connect back here to flexibility so that this discussion is clearly tied to your thesis.\"

\"the ending here feels disconnected as the tone changes through the differences in your image treatment and the tempo of the background music\"

\"What if you just focus on those experiences, develop snapshot moments to illustrate what you\'ve done with grief and loss and cut the extraneous material here that doesn\'t help you tell that one particular story of your identity? How would you organize that story? Can you use the mentor text provided for this unit to help you?\"

\"These are potentially great quotations to include, but each represents a different perspective and rational for using technology. Pull quotation out to become the support for a paragraph about that idea. Introduce the idea for your readers, include the quotation, paraphrase, elaborate, and connect back to your thesis.\"

\"Yes, this is part of the argument for using networked technologies in the classroom. Group like ideas together here and use cues like topic and concluding sentences to guide the reader through the discussion.\"

\"Use transitions here inside the sections.\"

\"To unify this essay, you\'ll need to draft a strong thesis around technology and the writing process, and work to organize the discussion so that it works to build on and supports that thesis.
After you\'ve laid the ground work for the essay and stated your thesis, work to first introduce the CCSS, and show students why they should know what it is, and how it impacts their writing. Then, you can back out to show the big picture-- all the documents-- and note how technology is threaded through all those documents.
In your significance section, group like ideas and orient paragraphs around those larger ideas, using quotations as support for the ideas.\"

\"Name your arrangement pattern. Why did you choose it? How does it work for your audience and purpose?\"

\"There are two main ideas in this paragraph. Fully explore the first with discussion or examples. Break the paragraph and repeat.\"

\"Revise to make your topic sentence more specific.\"

\"Overall, this is a great paragraph and concluding sentence. Can you strengthen the topic sentence to better preview this discussion?\"

\"Good thesis Statement\"

\"Here, the paragraph takes a different turn. Why don\'t you build this to discuss flexibility explicitly as that\'s what you\'re building towards. Then break the paragraph, include a transition, and get on with the FSPW discussion.\"

\"Yes, so what does this have to do with flexibility? Connect back to your main idea and show how engaging in peer review can help you become a more flexible writer.\"

\"Cut this and keep the discussion focused on flexibility in your writing habits.\"

DCM: Responses to 1100 students