Satires
by angela kwon
1. Jonathan Swift
1.1. Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
1.2. I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.
1.3. I've always believed no matter how many shots I miss, I'm going to make the next one.
1.4. May you live every day of your life.
1.5. Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent.
2. George Bernard Shaw
2.1. A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.
2.2. A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
2.3. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
2.4. Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
2.5. Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
2.6. Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.
2.7. Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare.
2.8. First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
3. Oscar Wilde
3.1. A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.
3.2. A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
3.3. A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
3.4. A true friend stabs you in the front.
3.5. An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
3.6. An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him.
3.7. Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
4. Voltaire
4.1. All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
4.2. Anyone who seeks to destroy the passions instead of controlling them is trying to play the angel.
4.3. Common sense is not so common.
4.4. Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.
4.5. God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.
5. Mark Twain
5.1. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
5.2. A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
5.3. All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
5.4. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
5.5. 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
5.6. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.