1. Paradox of failure and success
1.1. We are always taught to be more successful. To avoid failure.
1.2. People who succeed fail far more often than people who fail!
1.3. Neils Bohr
1.3.1. - “The opposite of a fact is a falsehood. But the opposite on one profound truth may very well be another profound truth."
1.3.2. - When we are going for great successes in our lives, we have to accept that failures will be a part of the journey.
1.4. Most people think that failure and success are on 2 ends of the spectrum.
1.4.1. They are actually yin and yang - opposite sides of the same coin
1.4.2. Failure and success come hand in hand
1.4.2.1. But we want to logically separate them in our minds
1.5. In any situation, where you could fail
1.5.1. You are not just trying to prove yourself … you are there to learn and grow.
1.6. Recommended Summary+ Videos+ Mindmaps: Mindset by Dr Carol Dweck
1.6.1. Fixed Mindset
1.6.1.1. Failure is a reflection on their skills, talents and abilities
1.6.1.2. I can't improve.
1.6.1.3. MY talents/skills are fixed
1.6.2. Growth Mindset
1.6.2.1. I am trying to learn
1.6.2.2. Failure is part of the process of learning
1.6.3. Michael Jordan: "I can accept failure. I can't accept not trying"
1.7. As long as you continue to go after greatness, Failure will not stop
2. The Worst NO we ever get
2.1. The no we give ourselves
2.1.1. Before we even try
2.2. We are trying to protect our EGO from rejection or failure, so we tell ourselves NO
2.2.1. Way before anyone else has ever told us no
2.3. 2 kryptonites
2.3.1. - Pre-judging others
2.3.1.1. We judge what they think of us
2.3.2. - making Assumptions
2.4. We put limits on ourselves - and stop trying
2.4.1. - It becomes automatic and we stop trying over time
2.4.2. Like an elephant tethered to a little stick in the ground
2.5. Recommended Summary + Videos + Mindmap: Rejection Proof
3. Exercise: Set a NO Goal
3.1. Create a NO awareness - Take inventory
3.1.1. In your endeavor - How many NOs are you getting per week?
3.2. Set a new goal for the number of NOs you need to get this week (higher than last week)
3.2.1. Your No count
3.3. Start tracking your Failure Rate
3.3.1. Number of NOs/Number of YESs
3.4. If you want to succeed double your rate of failure - Tom Watson
3.5. You will start to succeed bigger over time
4. Exercise: Celebrate your Nos
4.1. - Celebrate the NOs
4.1.1. We are celebrating the process & Action we are taking
4.1.2. - We should celebrate the struggle
4.2. You can’t hate your way to happiness
5. Exercise: Dealing with Fear and Anxiety of rejection
5.1. Fearful breath
5.1.1. - We are holding our breath
5.1.1.1. - Activates Sympathetic
5.1.1.2. - Shoots cortisol
5.1.1.3. - Activates limbic brain
5.2. - Calming Breath
5.2.1. - Activates PSNS
5.2.2. - Take control of PFC and stop thinking from limbic brain
5.2.3. 2 step breathing process
5.2.3.1. - 4 count inhalation
5.2.3.2. - 8 count exhalation
6. Embracing NO
6.1. In any creative/entrepreneurial/business endeavor
6.1.1. We have to run lots of experiments
6.1.2. We have to try lots of things
6.1.2.1. To figure out what will work
6.1.3. Lean startup philosophy
6.1.3.1. Conduct fast experiments
6.2. Thought of failure stops most people from trying
6.3. When we attach ourselves too tightly to an outcome, we get really wound up.
6.3.1. We have to have high intention, but low attachment to the outcome.
6.3.2. Intensity + fun way of going about it.
6.4. Embracing NO lifts weight off our shoulder
6.4.1. We are not burdened by weight of success
6.4.2. We are free to try new things
6.4.3. We can experiment more freely
6.4.4. We can’t fail at failing