1. raid
1.1. homeless
1.2. clients already booked
1.3. had been taught exactly how and where to advertise. Went Renegading
1.3.1. At least now I kept the money
1.3.1.1. shame of self-trafficking
1.3.1.2. Hotel isolation
1.3.1.2.1. Angelina was ...
1.3.1.2.2. Shannon was...
1.4. Arial
1.4.1. romeo pimp
1.4.1.1. required child behavior
1.4.1.2. third person
1.4.1.3. Routinely broke consent
1.4.1.3.1. private
1.4.1.3.2. His surprise threesome for his birthday . I froze instead of fled Rape.
1.4.1.4. made me create and perform erotic fetish fantasies.
1.4.1.4.1. everybody loved Angeline
1.4.1.4.2. no-one even new my real name.
1.4.1.5. zero depth of relationship
2. Results of child hood
2.1. ACE- List answers not the score
2.2. PTSD
2.3. Rape
3. Foster Care
3.1. Gang using me
3.1.1. tried toe sell me twice (NY) (Papi)
3.2. I was routinely moved by surprise
3.2.1. garbage bags
3.2.2. crying at my locker because I was going to lakewood
4. education
5. adult hood and the fall
5.1. my recovery
5.1.1. settled down.
5.2. kids and family
5.2.1. daycare
5.3. navy wife
5.3.1. Fleet Ombudsman (because if I'm going to do it I'm going to do it right!
6. The life
6.1. Fetish room
6.1.1. porn
6.1.2. car totalled on purpose
6.1.3. documents
7. Zohan and his group of friends and family
8. Therapy
8.1. trauma informed
8.2. medication cannot cure trauma... there is no pill.'
9. childhood
9.1. Just like Game of THrones the hierarchy amongst siblings in my family was always shifting
9.1.1. She purposely pitted us against each other
9.1.1.1. she had individual relationships with us. But never a unit.
10. How I fell
10.1. sold me
10.2. my injury
10.2.1. porn and sex addict
10.2.1.1. never shown love
10.2.1.1.1. everyday I would tell him I felt I was only a vagina to him.
10.2.1.1.2. He would rage because I was "different" around my frineds... I was HAPPY thats why.
10.2.2. exposed the drugging and rapes
10.2.2.1. Shame madde had nowhere to go becaue I had been the one they all ran to.
10.2.2.2. Shame solidifief my belief that sex is all I am good for
10.2.2.3. Shame put me in the darkness
10.2.3. permanent spinal cord damage among other things
10.2.4. took my job
10.2.5. divorce
10.3. Chuck and spanking
10.3.1. giving him half
10.3.2. his fetish of owning a slave
10.3.3. hypersexualized chuldhood had normalized a lot of this.
11. Recovery
11.1. NOT A LIFETIME MOVIE
11.1.1. This is a long and often very ugly time period;
11.2. INTEGRATION
11.2.1. education
11.2.1.1. acedemically
11.2.1.2. financially
11.2.2. life skills
11.2.2.1. how to hold a normal conversation
11.2.2.2. where other people set their boundries so I could figure out mine
11.2.2.3. learning to read noemal emotions....
11.2.2.3.1. lived with constant shappy Angelina face.
11.2.2.3.2. for 5 years all I saw was party smiles
11.2.3. A SAFE SPACE TO HEAL
11.2.3.1. Carl... When I was with him the world stood still. I would be safe.
11.2.3.2. I slept in the walk in closet whenever he was away
11.2.3.3. Still have security drills
11.3. pshyc effects
11.3.1. cPTSD
11.3.2. depression
11.3.3. rape trauma syndrome
11.3.4. agoraphobia