1. Most common patterns of negative self-talk
1.1. Mind Reading
1.1.1. Mind reading is assuming we understand what other people are thinking without any real evidence.
1.2. Overgeneralization
1.2.1. Overgeneralization means making predictions about the future based on isolated and incomplete pieces of evidence from the present.
1.3. Magnification
1.3.1. Magnification is when you take your mistakes or flaws and exaggerate them. Often magnification takes the form of catastrophizing—taking small negative events and turning them into disasters in our minds.
1.4. Minimization
1.4.1. Minimization is the mirror image of magnification and involves being dismissive of our strengths and positive qualities.
1.5. Emotional Reasoning
1.5.1. Emotional reasoning means making decisions based upon how we feel rather than what we know to be true.
1.6. Black & White Thinking
1.6.1. Black and white thinking is the tendency to evaluate things in extreme dichotomies. It shows up most commonly when we evaluate our own personal qualities and characteristics this way.
1.7. Personalization
1.7.1. Personalization involves assuming excessive amounts of responsibility, especially for things that are outside our control.
1.8. Fortune Telling
1.8.1. Fortune Telling is the mental habit of predicting what will happen based on little or no real evidence.
1.9. Labeling
1.9.1. Labeling is when we describe ourselves or others in a stereotyped way.
1.10. Should Statements
1.10.1. Should Statements are a form of self-talk in which we hold ourselves to unreasonable or unhelpful standards and expectations.
2. How to undo the habit of negative self-talk
2.1. Acknowledge your negative self-talk without being critical of it.
2.1.1. Instead of criticizing yourself for your negative thoughts, simply acknowledge them.
2.2. Validate your negative self-talk with self-compassion.
2.2.1. Once you’ve acknowledged your negative thoughts, avoid getting into a fight with them, which only makes them stronger.
2.3. Externalize your negative self-talk by writing them down on paper.
2.3.1. Once you’ve acknowledged and validated your negative thoughts, the next step is to get them out of your head and into the real world. Take out a scrap of paper, open a notes file on your phone, or even send a text to yourself transcribing word-for-word the content of your negative self-talk. If you can’t write them down, just say them out loud.
2.4. Flexibly generate more realistic alternative thoughts.
2.4.1. The final step in reversing the habit of negative self-talk is to flexibly generate alternative, more realistic thoughts. For each negative thought you write down, come up with two or three alternative thoughts that are slightly more realistic or objective.