1. Peter Salovey's 5 components of emotional intelligence
1.1. Self Awareness/ Metacognition
1.1.1. Fundamental basis of emotional intelligence
1.1.1.1. Knowing one's emotions
1.1.1.2. Recognizing our feelings
1.1.2. If we can't notice our feelings
1.1.2.1. We are at the mercy of those feelings
1.1.3. John Mayer, psychologist
1.1.3.1. Self awareness means
1.1.3.1.1. Being aware of both our mood and
1.1.3.1.2. Our thoughts about that mood
1.1.4. Ability to identify and name the emotions
1.1.4.1. The fundamental skill in emotional intelligence
1.1.4.2. Every other emotional intelligence skill builds on this fundamental skill of self awareness
1.1.4.3. Non reactive
1.1.4.4. Non judgmental
1.1.4.5. "This is anger I am feeling right now"
1.1.5. Neo Cortex(particularly language area) needs to be actively involved
1.1.5.1. So that it can observe and name the emotion
1.1.6. Being able to rise above the experience
1.1.6.1. A meta level of consciousness
1.1.6.2. Being aware of the experience as it is happening
1.1.6.3. Rather than being completely immersed in it
1.1.7. 2 levels of emotions - unconscious and conscious
1.1.7.1. Unconscious level
1.1.7.1.1. We are not aware of them yet
1.1.7.1.2. They are simmering underneath
1.1.7.2. Example
1.1.7.2.1. Stub your toe as you get out bed
1.1.7.2.2. You get mad at it
1.1.7.2.3. Your toe is hurting all day
1.1.7.2.4. You are now peevish and angry
1.1.7.3. Conscious level
1.1.7.3.1. Emotion is registered and named in the Neo Cortex
1.1.7.3.2. You become aware of the anger because of the physical hurt
1.1.7.3.3. Now you can manage it and snap out of it
1.1.8. This is The essence of Mindfulness meditation
1.1.8.1. Meta level awareness
1.1.8.2. Developing Meta cognition
1.2. Managing Emotions
1.2.1. The key is - ability to handle emotions
1.2.1.1. Not to suppress emotions selectively
1.2.1.2. Not to numb emotions
1.2.2. Aristotle
1.2.2.1. Key is to have emotions appropriate to the circumstance
1.2.3. Defuse the challenging Emotions
1.2.3.1. Life your mood
1.2.4. Specific Things you can do to manage your emotions
1.3. Self Motivation - Harnessing the Power of your emotions
1.3.1. Being able to use our emotions in order to get the goal we desire
1.3.2. Key to high performance in the highest prusuits
1.3.2.1. Being able to work hard in face of obstacles and challenges
1.3.2.2. Doggedness
1.3.2.2.1. Enthusiasm
1.3.2.2.2. Persistence
1.3.3. Emotions out of control can harm us
1.3.3.1. But if we can learn to manage and harness the emotions - we can truly motivate ourselves
1.3.4. Even when we have similar mental capacities
1.3.4.1. We can either be limited by our emotions because emotions can diminish our performance
1.3.4.2. Or we can motivate ourselves to give our very best in our pursuits
1.3.4.2.1. Harnessing the most out of our mental capabilities
1.3.5. Emotional Self-control is crucial for great accomplishments
1.3.5.1. Impulse control
1.3.5.2. Delaying gratification
1.3.6. High Performance Under Stress/Anxiety
1.3.6.1. Yerkes Dodson Curve
1.3.7. Impulse Control and Marshmallow test - Walter Mischell
1.3.7.1. Marshmallow Test
1.3.7.1.1. 1960's
1.3.7.1.2. 4 yr old kids
1.3.7.1.3. Some kids couldn't wait and ate the 1st marshmallow
1.3.7.1.4. 14 yrs later
1.3.7.2. Goal directed self imposed delay of gratification
1.3.7.3. Willpower - Roy Baumeister
1.3.7.3.1. Full Summary in 2x Mental Toughness Program with 60 book summaries
1.3.7.4. Willpower Instinct - Kelly McGonigal
1.3.7.4.1. Full Summary in 2x Mental Toughness Program with 60 book summaries
1.3.8. Optimism - Martin Seligman
1.3.8.1. Seligman's definition
1.3.8.1.1. Optimists
1.3.8.1.2. Pessimists
1.3.8.2. Optimism can be learned
1.3.8.2.1. We have to develop self efficacy
1.3.9. Flow - Mihaly Cziksentmihaly
1.3.9.1. Also known as ZONE
1.3.9.2. FLOW Might be the peak of exercising emotional intelligence
1.3.9.2.1. Performing at your highest level
1.3.9.2.2. Harnessing the power of your emotions at the highest level
1.3.9.3. What is flow
1.3.9.3.1. Utterly absorbed in task at hand
1.3.9.3.2. Nothing else matters
1.3.9.3.3. Paying complete attention to something
1.3.9.3.4. Like playing a sport
1.3.9.3.5. No ego
1.3.9.3.6. Not concerned with how they are performing
1.3.9.3.7. Even hard work can seem refreshing
1.3.9.4. How to get into FLOW
1.3.9.4.1. Focusing all your attention on a very specific task
1.3.9.4.2. Demands for the task are a little bit above your level of competence
1.3.9.4.3. We are finding ways to meet the demands of the task
1.3.9.4.4. There is a specific goal or target
1.3.9.4.5. There are boundaries
1.4. Empathy
1.4.1. Empathy = Recognizing emotions in others
1.4.2. It builds on #1 - self awareness
1.4.2.1. The more we understand our emotions
1.4.2.2. The more we can read and feel them in others
1.4.3. Rapport starts with empathy
1.4.4. Researched benefits of Being able to read feelings from non-verbal cues
1.4.4.1. More popular
1.4.4.2. More outgoing
1.4.4.3. More sensitive
1.4.4.4. Better relationships with the opposite sex
1.5. Handling Relationships
1.5.1. Key = Being able to manage emotions in others
1.5.1.1. We need to master 2 skills for this
1.5.1.1.1. Managing our own emotions
1.5.1.1.2. Empathy with others
1.5.2. Mastery
1.5.2.1. Tuning into people's emotions
1.5.2.2. Being able to drive their emotional state
1.5.2.2.1. Being able to bring others into your emotional realm
1.5.2.2.2. Setting the emotional tone of the interaction
1.5.3. The most powerful person
1.5.3.1. The one who sets the tone of the emotional interaction
1.5.4. 4 abilities that comprise interpersonal intelligence - Hatch and Gardner
1.5.4.1. Organizing groups
1.5.4.1.1. Co-ordinating the efforts of people
1.5.4.2. Negotiating
1.5.4.3. Personal connection
1.5.4.4. Social analysis
1.5.4.4.1. Being able to analyze and dissect the situation at hand
1.5.5. But Don't become a social chamaleon
1.5.5.1. Always act in alignment with your values and feelings - no matter what
1.5.6. How to Win friends and influence people Audiobook summary Dale Carnegie
2. Why this book
2.1. Most people believe that success in life is directly correlated to their Intelligence level or IQ.
2.1.1. But is it TRUE?
2.1.2. NO
2.2. We actually need emotional intelligence in order to be able to harness the most out of our raw intellectual horsepower
2.2.1. This book teaches us how to do that... how to:
2.2.1.1. manage our emotions
2.2.1.2. harness the power of our emotions to get the very best out of our IQ
2.2.1.3. work with others
3. Get this Mindmap for free
3.1. www.2000books.com/self
3.2. Power
3.2.1. Have access to all these ideas instantly
3.2.2. Have access to all the Actionable ideas any moment
4. 10 Actionable Ideas
4.1. Mindfulness Meditation
4.1.1. Scientifically proven benefits of Mindfulness meditation
4.1.1.1. Helps reduce
4.1.1.1.1. Anxiety
4.1.1.1.2. Depression
4.1.1.1.3. Stress
4.1.1.1.4. Nervousness
4.1.1.2. Helps improve
4.1.1.2.1. Self awareness
4.1.1.2.2. Awareness of emotions
4.1.1.2.3. Metacognition
4.1.1.2.4. Pain Tolerance
4.1.1.2.5. Impulse control
4.1.1.2.6. Optimism and Grit
4.1.1.2.7. Compassion and self-compassion
4.1.1.2.8. Performance under pressure
4.1.1.2.9. Brain Performance
4.1.2. Vipassana Meditation
4.1.2.1. Teaches you to observe your emotions in the body
4.1.3. Download my guided meditation Audio
4.1.3.1. I have been meditating for 20 yrs
4.1.3.2. This is a 15 min guided mindfulness meditation audio
4.1.3.2.1. You can just press play and sit down and meditate every single day
4.1.3.3. Download at www.2000books.com/meditate
4.2. Write down the emotion
4.2.1. When you feel a strong emotion
4.2.1.1. Write down the emotion as it pops up
4.2.1.2. The act of naming it, defuses the power of the emotion on your amygdala (lizard brain) because your PFC and language center get engaged
4.2.2. Develops an emotional vocabulary
4.2.3. Develops your self awareness
4.3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
4.3.1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
4.3.1.1. Book: Feeling Good - Dr David Burns
4.3.1.1.1. Complete Summary in our Mental Toughness Program with 60 book summaries on Self confidence, self esteem and building Mental Toughness
4.3.1.2. Challenging Emotion
4.3.1.3. What thoughts are leading to that emotion
4.3.1.3.1. Automatic Negative Thought
4.3.1.4. What is the distortion in your thoughts
4.3.1.4.1. That is causing those Challenging emotions
4.3.1.4.2. There are 10 commonly known cognitive distoritons that cause challenging emotions
4.3.1.5. Rational Response
4.3.1.5.1. Rationally respond to your distorted thoughts
4.4. Changing your physiology
4.4.1. Changing your physiology changes your biochemistry
4.4.1.1. Standing in a powerful position will increase your dominance hormone and reduce your stress hormone
4.4.1.1.1. Testosterone = Dominance Hormone
4.4.1.1.2. Cortisol = Stress Hormone
4.4.2. Book: Unlimited Power - Tony Robbins
4.4.2.1. The Power of physiology, words and vision in managing your emotional state
4.4.2.1.1. How I walked on 10 ft of red hot burning coal
4.4.2.2. Complete Summary in our Mental Toughness Program with 60 book summaries on Self confidence, self esteem and building Mental Toughness
4.4.3. Power Hack
4.4.3.1. Feeling depressed, stressed, fearful, nervous, anxious?
4.4.3.2. Stand up in a Power pose
4.4.3.2.1. Like a superman
4.4.3.2.2. Occupying a lot of space
4.4.3.3. Book: Presence - Amy Cuddy
4.4.3.3.1. Complete Summary in our Mental Toughness Program with 60 book summaries on Self confidence, self esteem and building Mental Toughness
4.4.4. Simple hacks
4.4.4.1. Walking, Running
4.4.4.1.1. Will shake you out of a mood
4.5. Download this mindmap for free
4.5.1. Also a 1 page checklist of 10 Most Powerful Emotional Intelligence Exercises
4.6. Deep breathing Exercise
4.6.1. Breathing in a pattern for 10 breaths
4.6.1.1. Inhale
4.6.1.1.1. Count of 4
4.6.1.2. Hold
4.6.1.2.1. Count of 4
4.6.1.3. Exhale
4.6.1.3.1. Count of 8
4.6.1.3.2. Mouth open
4.7. Architect a small win
4.7.1. When you feel unmotivated, lazy, lethargic, sad or in a funk
4.7.2. Assign yourself a small task
4.7.2.1. Even write it on a piece of paper
4.7.3. And complete it
4.7.3.1. Cross off the task from that piece of paper
4.7.4. You get a sense of completion and victory
4.7.4.1. Ready to take on bigger challenge
4.8. Help others in need
4.8.1. Book: Upside of Stress - Kelly McGonigal
4.8.1.1. Mortality rate goes down by 33% if we spend time helping others in need
4.8.1.2. Complete Summary in our Mental Toughness Program with 60 book summaries on Self confidence, self esteem and building Mental Toughness
4.8.2. Book: How to Stop Worrying and start living
4.8.2.1. One of the greatest ways to change your mood for the better
4.8.2.2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msVFTJIg7SU&t=491s
4.9. Empathy Exercise
4.9.1. Try to read people's emotions by just watching their non-verbals
4.10. Reframing
4.10.1. Book: Awaken the Giant within - Tony Robbins
4.10.1.1. No matter how difficult the situation
4.10.1.1.1. Ask yourself: How will this situation turn out to my advantage
4.10.1.1.2. Why is this good for me?
4.10.1.2. Reframe past failures
4.10.1.2.1. How it helped you move forward
4.10.1.2.2. How it made a positive impact in your life
4.10.1.3. Complete Summary in our Mental Toughness Program with 60 book summaries on Self confidence, self esteem and building Mental Toughness
4.10.2. Obstacle is the way - Ryan Holiday
4.10.2.1. "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way" - Marcus Aurelius
4.10.2.2. Reframing the obstacle as the way forward
4.10.2.3. Complete Summary in our Mental Toughness Program with 60 book summaries on Self confidence, self esteem and building Mental Toughness
4.11. How not What
4.11.1. When the words from someone conflict with
4.11.1.1. Their body language
4.11.1.2. Tonality
4.11.1.3. Gestures
4.11.1.4. Voice
4.11.2. Always trust the non-verbals... not the words
5. Get this Mindmap for free
5.1. www.2000books.com/self
5.2. Power
5.2.1. Have access to all these ideas instantly
5.2.2. Have access to all the Actionable ideas any moment