ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

1. Culture shape how we think about romantic love

1.1. Ancient greeks

1.2. Roman

1.3. Christianity

1.4. Middle age (European aristocrate)

1.5. Heteroxist views of romantic love

1.5.1. Myths

1.5.2. Facts

1.6. Individualist vs collectivist views

1.6.1. Western

1.6.2. China

1.6.3. Individualist

1.6.4. Collectivist

2. Typology of love

2.1. John Lee (1977) typology of love style (eros, hudus, storge).

2.2. Stenberg (1986, 1997) triangular theory of love in which 7 types of love consisted of diferent degrees of passion, intimacy and commitment

2.3. Two most fundamental types of love are passionate love and companionate love (Hendrick & Hendrick, 2003; Overbeek et al., 2007).

2.4. Passionate love produces changes in brain chemistry, which caused focused attention, concentrating motivation to attain a reward, and a sense of giddiness that is primarily fueled by one of nature’s most stimultants, dopamine (Barber, 2002; Kurup & Kurup, 2003).

2.5. It develops out a sense of certainty in each other’s love and respect and a feeling of genuine mutual understanding (Sprecher, 1999).

3. Women and men may differ in their experience of love

3.1. Men

3.1.1. More driven by their passion

3.1.2. Emphasize on sexuality

3.1.3. Passionate love

3.1.4. Have a more romantic view of love

3.2. Women

3.2.1. More driven by their affection

3.2.2. Emphasize on emotional intimacy

3.2.3. Companionate love

3.2.4. More discrimating in choosing a mate because she has a limited number of eggs that can be fertilized during her time of reproduction

4. Social support predicts relationship satisfaction

4.1. A longitudinal study of married couples found that lower levels of deppression were associated with both women and men receiving a good deal of emotional support (tenderness and understanding) and information support (advice and guidance) from their partners during their previous six months (Cutrona & Suhr, 1994).

5. Different strategies to cope with a troubled relationship

5.1. Caryl Rusbult and her coworkers, identified 4 strategies in coping with a troubled relationship (Rusbult et al., 1986a, 1987, 2001)

5.1.1. Loyalty

5.1.2. Neglect

5.1.3. Exit

5.1.4. Voice

6. Self esteem can both facilitate and undermine romantic love

6.1. There’s litlle evidence that people with high self esteem are more capable of loving others than those with low self esteem (Campbell & Baumister, 2001).

6.2. People with low self esteem have more intense experiences of passionate love than those with high self esteem (Dion & Sion, 1975; Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986).

7. Perceiving partners in the best possible light leads to satisfying relationship

7.1. Lasting satisfaction in romantic relationships depends on people understanding their partners real strenghs and weaknesses (Brickmann, 1987; Swann et al., 1994).

8. Partners who can “read” each others thought and feeling are happier

8.1. People are happiest in their romantic relationships when they believe they have found their kindred spirit, someone who understands them and shares their experiences (Murray et al., 2002a).

9. We are meaner to those we love than we are to strangers

9.1. Troubled couples often are unable or unwilling to terminate the expression of negative emotions toward each other.