1. FELL LIKE CENTER OF ATTENTION
1.1. what
1.1.1. belief others interested in your every action
1.1.2. and are waiting to criticize you
1.1.3. But in reality, others use most of their time and attention dealing with their own lives
1.1.3.1. If they see you' re nervous /uncomfortable
1.1.3.1.1. they may think this for a short time, and get on with their personal concerns
1.1.3.2. If a person is very critical, they may not be the kind of person you want to have a relationship with anyway
1.1.4. Exam:
1.1.4.1. Phil
1.1.4.1.1. Antennae Out for Signs of Disapproval
1.1.4.1.2. When Phil antennae feel negative reactions, He can easily misinterpret cues
1.2. enable the observer give you feedback on quality of your performance.
1.3. TIP
1.3.1. FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND
1.3.1.1. NOT THOSE WHO MAY BE WATCHING YOU
1.3.1.2. People find difficult to have others watch them while working.
1.3.1.2.1. Turn your focus on the activity and not on the person observing you
1.3.1.2.2. keep in mind purpose of the activity
1.3.1.3. We all receive criticism as part of the learning process.
1.3.1.3.1. You need to learn to handle this calmly, without taking it personally.
1.3.1.4. If you find are facing a lot of criticism in your life, it may be coming from only one person or a small group of people
1.3.1.4.1. How to overcome
1.3.1.5. Ex:
1.3.1.5.1. Challenging situation
1.3.1.5.2. Talking with Quyen in the kitchen
1.3.1.5.3. In Bac Vi in Tet Holiday
1.3.1.5.4. Meeting with sales team
1.3.1.5.5. Lunch with Anh Chi
2. FOCUS MORE ON OTHERS AND LESS ON YOURSELF
2.1. WHAT
2.1.1. shift your attention from yourself to other people
2.1.1.1. choose to focus on some aspect of the situations we are in
2.2. HOW
2.2.1. remind yourself to focus on others
2.2.2. Make it your goal to listen carefully to what the others say.
2.2.3. Think about how that person feels about what they are saying.
2.2.3.1. involving strong emotion?
2.2.3.1.1. important?
2.2.4. Often your attention will move back to yourself when u have anxious thought or physical sensation
2.2.4.1. Don't try to stop these feelings from coming
2.2.4.1.1. Accept them & direct your attention back to the other person
2.2.5. Don’t spend much time planning what you will say next
2.2.5.1. If u listen carefully, your own ideas about what to say next usually come quickly
2.2.6. Don’t try to figure out what others are thinking about you during the situation
3. Dealing with Anticipatory Anxiety
3.1. WHAT
3.1.1. anticipatory anxiety lasts much longer and creates more stress than the situation itself.
3.2. HOW
3.2.1. Prepare
3.2.1.1. The problem situation
3.2.1.2. What you would like to accomplish
3.2.1.3. Several alternative ways of handling the situation
3.2.1.4. The advantages and disadvantages of each alternative
3.2.1.5. a short script about the important points
4. Healthy and Unhealthy Distraction
4.1. What
4.1.1. When you are anxious, distracting yourself
4.2. How
4.2.1. EX: in the meeting, your heart is pounding
4.2.1.1. Healthy distraction
4.2.1.1.1. Rather than pay attention to the symptoms
4.2.1.1.2. pay attention to what the others saying and take notes to help you follow up
4.2.1.1.3. focusing on an activity that will be helpful to you in the long run
4.2.1.2. Unhealthy distraction
4.2.1.2.1. You start to daydream about the coming weekend and what you will be doing to relax
4.2.1.2.2. may involve activities such as working excessively, using alcohol, watching television, or sleeping
5. OVER Self-consciousness
5.1. spend a much time
5.1.1. focusing on themselves rather than on the world around them
5.2. Problems
5.2.1. It increases your anxiety level.
5.2.1.1. Having someone watch and criticize your performance is distracting and stressful, even if that someone is you.
5.2.2. It takes your attention away from other people
5.2.2.1. , so you might miss important information.
5.2.3. If you are distracted, others may assume you aren’t interested in them,
5.2.3.1. and respond to you less warmly.