1. Session 3: 3-22-17
1.1. MFF
1.1.1. Awareness & Acceptance
1.1.1.1. Busyness, less awareness
1.1.1.2. Drama, less awareness
1.1.1.3. A lot of people deny they have feelings
1.1.2. Feel your feelings
1.1.2.1. If you don't feel it, it is just mental concept
1.1.3. Share your feelings
1.1.3.1. Sharing feelings without feeling it has less impact
1.1.3.2. Positive feelings get amplified when shared
1.1.3.3. Negative feelings get dissipated when shared and duplicated
1.1.3.4. Our reaction plays out in the bedroom
1.1.4. Take RESPONSIBILITY for your feelings
1.1.4.1. My feelings are my feelings
1.1.4.2. Eg. When you spoke with me this way, i felt inadequate. While I am working on my feelings of inadequacy, would it work for you to say it differently so that i can avoid being in reaction.
1.1.4.2.1. Doing it together when one is changing the way to communicate while supporting the other person to work through it while one is working on owning the inadequacy and resolve that.
1.1.4.3. Owning your feelings allow you to transform them
1.1.4.4. Blaming them puts you at effect
1.1.4.5. When you judged yourself for your feeling, you are rejecting your feeling
1.1.4.5.1. When you reject your feeling, you can't change it
1.1.5. Choose Differently
1.1.5.1. Choose different action or response
1.1.5.2. Change your focus
1.1.5.3. Taking action always empower you and leads you to be more at cause
1.1.6. REPEAT
1.1.7. Benefits
1.1.7.1. More freedom when you can be yourself
1.1.7.2. Less at effect of another person
1.1.7.3. Choosing differently
1.1.7.4. Communicate in a way that you will get what you want
1.1.7.5. Being more at cause
1.1.8. When you are more connected to your feelings, will you make different choices?
1.1.9. Its about connecting all cultures and free us from our culture memes and be truly free
1.1.10. Path to FREEDOM
1.1.11. Can be repeated
1.1.12. Can be used as a way of life at home and at work
1.1.13. Works like magic
1.2. No magic when people can't express their feelings
1.2.1. More disconnected
1.3. Apply to master our emotions
1.3.1. To support us to go for ideal scene for ourselves since we are driven by emotions all our life
1.3.2. Some people make "rational" choices discounting their feelings
1.3.3. Most people cope with their feelings by going numb
1.3.3.1. Numbing out feelings have people become more ingrained in the job that they don't like
1.3.4. Cultural memes have us been stucked with a certain behaviour
1.4. Ability to express self
1.4.1. Limited by the caste or class you are in
1.5. Identity issue
1.6. Culture
1.6.1. Transcend cultural memes by looking at what we have in common
1.7. What matters is how you feel about you
2. Session 4: 4-7-17
2.1. Feelings
2.1.1. Our feelings are not accurate
2.1.2. We can't run our life based on how we feel
2.1.3. eg. When you fly, you have to fly by instrument as you won't be able to fell whether you are upside now or sideway
2.1.3.1. Our result is like the instrument
2.2. Magic
2.2.1. Do magic happen when you are feeling fantastic or when things are not flowing?
2.2.2. When something is not flowing, something better might be waiting for us?
2.3. Ego
2.3.1. Being attached to how things should be
2.3.2. Attached status, power, position
2.3.3. Compensation for our insecurities
2.3.4. Identity
2.3.4.1. We need an identity to function
2.4. People tend to be more fixed
2.5. When you are happy, you don't change things
2.6. Sometimes we don't go to the dentist is because we have some painful experience
2.7. Allow things to flow rather than force it
2.8. Capacity
2.8.1. Stress
2.8.2. Discomfort
2.8.3. Magic
2.9. What would you set as a goal if you don't have a negative goal?
2.10. Paris was uplifting because AJH put attention on putting our attention on what is uplifting
2.11. Your future self already solve your problem
2.11.1. Which means my problems are solvable
2.11.2. Draw the courage and hope from the future
2.11.3. My future problem is going to solve my future problem, so why worry now
2.12. Our past, present and future co-exist
2.13. If I don't buy into my excuses, what would i have?
2.14. Dynamic Tension
2.14.1. https://renaissanceforleaders.com/2014/11/03/the-dynamic-tension-of-goals-visions/
2.14.2. Goal
2.14.2.1. Happiness is a by product of a goal not the goal
2.14.2.2. Most people's goal is to avoid something
2.14.2.2.1. Not inspiring
2.14.2.2.2. You will not get what you want
2.14.2.2.3. Your focus is on what you don't want
2.14.2.2.4. If you get away from one something to another, you bring what you don't like into your future
2.14.2.3. Pulls you forward
2.14.2.3.1. Everything thats in the way of you having what you want will come up so that you can clear it to have more of what you want
2.14.2.3.2. When you progress, things come up
2.14.2.4. Opposite of Entropy
2.14.2.5. Focus on where you are going
2.14.2.6. Put attention on your ideal scene
2.14.2.7. Real work is here and i am going to give everything i've got
2.14.3. Entropy
2.14.3.1. Generalised principals
2.14.3.2. Do nothing = Going backwards
2.14.3.3. Goal is opposite of entropy
2.14.4. Resolve past failures to realise ideal scene
2.14.4.1. When we avoid it, it will dictate our future
2.14.4.2. Anytime I am blaming, i put the responsibility to someone else
2.14.4.3. Take ownership of it
2.14.5. Pulls you into the future
3. Session 5: 4-27-17
3.1. Relationship
3.1.1. It takes time to work on our ideal scene because most of our role models are dysfunctional
3.1.2. Feelings are not reliable to measure
3.1.2.1. Eg. Health
3.1.2.1.1. Nothing to do with how we feel
3.1.2.1.2. Based on measurement
3.1.3. Action and behaviour creates the results that we have
3.1.3.1. Emotions creates our behaviour
3.1.3.2. Beliefs creates our behavior
3.1.3.3. You can't change what you are not aware of
3.1.4. Hardest thing for most people is to see ourselves objectively without being bias
3.1.5. Wanting a different way does not make it different
3.1.5.1. Seeing the reality is the way to change things
3.1.6. Presenting one way to someone is to convince oneself that we are a certain way and not wanting to see the reality
3.1.7. Model for our parents relationship is sacrifice
3.1.7.1. vs
3.1.7.1.1. Bringing your best self in your relationship
3.1.8. Most books focus on bringing dysfunction to function
3.1.9. Feeling overwhelmed or feeling all over the place
3.1.9.1. To avoid doing something about it by avoiding the feeling
3.1.10. We all need our own cheerleaders, the world has enough of negativity
3.1.11. Key Leverage Point
3.1.11.1. Identify the areas that I am avoiding to look for key leverage point
3.1.11.1.1. Easy things to do are usually low values activities