Define the Problem Consider the decision you are facing and state the issue clearly. Is it important enough to warrant using : You borrow someone’s device (Smart Phone, Laptop etc) from a friend and accidentally break it. DECIDE! Dimensions of wellness: Social, Spiritual, Occupational, Mental, Environmental, Emotional, and Physical. The main dimensions that affect this problem: Social, Mental, and Emotional
by Tanisha. M
1. Evaluate the Results Sometimes after you have put your decision into effect, take some times to review it. How did you decision work out? How has it affected your life? How has it affects others? What did you learn? If you could do it over again, what would you do differently? : (I don't know how my decision actually worked out, but this is a hypothetical process/projects) My decision worked out pretty well because it is a decision where there is little room for anger and bad vibes. It has affected my life because now people find me honest and they think that I won't lie to them, they find me more trustworthy. It has affected other because people have different perception of me. My parents also have people believing that they have raised a kid well. And the lender can have a newer device. I learnt that you should always be honest instead of tangling yourself in lies. If I could do it over again, I would probably tell the lender the moment I broke it, and I would also go home and write a long and heartfelt email for a second apology. In the end, I feel that this problem has really encompassed mental, emotional, and social wellness because they all have affected the decision. For mental wellness, it is the mental state of mind you are in. If you are in a good state of mind you would want to do good. Also, you can have that feeling of guilt, so you want to get that mentality out of your head. For emotional, you don't want others to get hurt, you value their emotions. You don't want people to feel angry or sad. For social, you don't want this to affect your social status. You don't want your friends to see you in a bad light, you don't want to lose your friends, and you don't want others to see your family badly either. These all really affect your wellness, so when making decision you must chose wisely. Hence why I chose options 6 or 7.
2. Decide and Act Use the information you have collected to compare the alternatives. Decide which one is best for you. Remember, sometimes there is more than one ‘right’ choice. Make a plan to act on your decision. You may need to break the plan into smaller steps. Set realistic deadlines for each step and then follow through with your plan: In the end, when you look at it, the most positive outcomes - the least risky outcomes are from the acts of number 6 and number 7. Both of these follow the values of being honest, owning up to your mistakes and responsibilities, and being compassionate. You are most likely to keep your friend, and the parents will still appreciate you. And for number 6, if it is necessary for you to pay for the laptop, the lender can always ask. You also won't feel any guilt since you were being honest to yourself and the lender. You are keeping in mind everyone else and yourself. Also, there is no lying, so you can't get caught in a lie. There is little to no area for errors. There is no room for broken ties, ruined reputations, or disowned values. You can act on your decision by #1 going to your friend in person, saying 'hi, listen, I'm really genuinely sorry, I broke your laptop. It was an accident, and I truly am sorry. Please forgive me. I promise I'll pay for a new one or to repair it." Then the lender will most probably give a more positive response than if you did (1-5). You should do this at most 3 days after you break it or you should do it once your friend asks. Don't make excuses, be honest, and abrupt. Tell the truth so it doesn't look sketchy or like twisted lies.
3. Identify Your Values Personal values may affect your decisions. Make sure to do the following: Consider your long-term goals as well as the beliefs of your family and culture. Consider your own and others’ health and safety, and your self-respect. Identify those choices that are a good match for your values: My values include the SAS core values - compassion, fairness, honesty, respect, responsibility. You need to be fair by not putting the blame on someone else. You need to be compassionate by keeping in mind how your actions affect others. You need to be responsible by owning up to your wrongs. You need to be respectful by apologising. Finally, the most important, you need to be honest, by telling the truth - you broke the device. You don't want to destroy the values and your image that you and your family have tried so hard to establish. You also don't want to destroy relationships and friendships. You want to do the right thing that is eventually best for everyone. Don't be selfish.
4. Consider the Consequences One by one, think through what might happen if you were to choose each alternative on your list. Be sure to do the following: Include both positive and negative results. Consider what probably would happen, not what you hope would happen. Ask yourself … how risky is each alternative? What are its chances of success? How would it affect my future? How would it affect others? : 1) They'll eventually ask for it back, and then you'll have to consider the other options (2-7). Which is something you'll have to come up with on the spot, you could panic and come up with some lame excuse which than they would think of you as a liar. You could say you'll give it to them later, but then you'll have to lie again forming a big puddle of lies, that could eventually lead to them hating you. 2) Since they gave it to you, they would probably realize that it wasn't broken, and then they would think you are trying to make excuses. They could tell everyone you lied and then no one would trust you and no one would help you. There is also that small chance that they would believe you, but you could feel guilty for making them believe that. 3) This would involve a lie, but then you'll have to deal with the guilt of throwing the laptop away to hide the evidence. Also, they could feel that you were not keeping it safe that someone could steal it. They could also be sympathetic and believe you, but they may be wary to lend things to you in the future. 4) If you blame it on someone else like your sister, the person lending it to you could question why your sister had it in the first place. They could also ask your sister about it, and she could deny it and tell the truth, which would make you look like a liar, which would make them dislike you and stop being friends with you. But on the other hand, you could argue your point and the person who lent their device to you will have to choose who is telling the truth if they chose you then that's good for you, but there will be an immense amount of guilt for you. If they don't choose you, you'll look really bad. 5) If you tell the truth you are likely to receive a harsher response than getting caught in a lie. The person probably still would get a little angry/mad. You will also be able to let off all the guilt. But especially if you don't apologize, they may feel like you don't care. They probably won't lend you anything in the future, and they would feel like you are very rude. They may insist you pay for it because of your rude behaviour. But they could also appreciate you for telling the truth. Not only that but proceeding to try and do everything from (1-5) and having it fail, could lead to parents getting involved and broken relationships. The parents would be angry as well, and see you as a bad child, telling other parents, affecting you and your parents status. 6) If you do this, you are likely to get a positive response. They would probably say it is fine when you apologize and thank you for telling them the truth. The only possible downfall is that by breaking their device you lost some valuable stuff, so they may still be a little angry and would hesitate if you were to ask for something in the future. They could also still insist for you to pay for the device. 7) The would also most probably receive a positive response. They would probably do everything mentioned in number 6 minus the insisting or you to pay for it. They could also be a lot less angry because of your offer, and they could either deny it or accept it. Denying will benefit you and show that they really forgive you. Accepting it will be a little worse for you since you'll either have to pay with your own money or ask your parents for money and they could get angry at you for doing such a careless thing. But it will also show that they are almost there in terms of fully forgiving you. (All of this is respective to the bubble above)
5. Explore the Alternatives Make a list of possible alternatives for solving your problem. If you need more information to fully understand: 1) Don't tell them 2) Say you received it broken 3) Say someone stole it from you 4) Blame it on someone else 5) Tell the truth but don't offer to pay for it and don't apologise 6) Apologise and tell the truth but don't offer to pay for it 7) Tell the truth, apologise, and offer to pay for it.