100 Solutions
by Fernando Torrico
1. Changing appearance
1.1. Change your appearance regularly so you can't be recognized
1.2. Have a sex change operation
1.3. Have a plastic surgery
1.4. Cross-dress
1.5. Get an operation to have your own memory wiped out
2. Attack
2.1. Become a killer and kill them all.
2.2. Hire a professional killer and kill them all.
2.3. Give their names and addresses to their enemies, so they can kill them all
2.4. Give their names and addresses to the police, so they can arrest them.
2.5. Immunize yourself against a poison and invite them to a surprise drink.
2.6. Try to find the guy who want to kill you and kill him first
2.7. Catch the guy who has taken the hit out on you, have him take the hit back and then perform memory erasure surgery on him
2.8. Hide under the gangsters bed and drug him when he falls asleep
2.9. Kidnap the gangster's leader and exchange him for your life.
2.10. Kidnap the leader's mother and exchange her for your life.
3. Escape
3.1. -
3.1.1. Find a job in a cruise so you spend 6 months overseas
3.1.2. Change your name and start a new life.
3.2. Pretend to be crazy so you're doomed to live in an asylum.
3.3. Become a monk and go live in a monastery
3.4. Become an astronaut and go live on a space station
3.5. Hire a private jet and fly around every night
3.6. Look for an unusual and sure place to sleep
3.7. Flee to a distant place.
3.8. Commit a crime and have yourself imprisoned. While inside, display an act of violence so that you'd be put in solitary confinement.
3.9. Move out to Siberia.
3.10. Commit suicide. So they cannot kill you anymore.
3.11. Flee to a deserted island
3.12. Start living in an airport, airport security being what it now is, you would be very safe
3.13. Move to the Vatican
3.14. Start living in a movie set where you are the star and the whole world is watching you, huge disincentive to kill you in front of the entire world
4. Just... sleep
4.1. If they want to kill you at night, sleep during the day.
4.2. Become so stress and overwhelmed that you can finally say: "I don't care. I have bigger problems".
4.3. Watch every night before to sleep the movie "The English Patient". It's so boring that you'll sleep in a second.
4.4. Take sleeping pills and forget all your worries for a while
4.5. Drink a lot of alcohol
4.6. Hit your head so you faint and you can rest for a while.
4.7. Drink Ayahuasca to put yourself into trance before sleep and hopefully wakes up feeling refreshed and being reborn.
4.8. Take enough sleeping pills & put on ear plugs so you won't hear the assasin when he comes and won't wake up when he shoots you
4.9. Sleep under your bed so the assassin will think you're not home. Make sure you don't snore.
4.10. Fall in a Coma and don't wake up
5. Nirvana
5.1. Get drunk every night so much that being killed is not a problem anymore
5.2. Find the inner peace and realize that somehow, soon or later, all of us will die.
5.3. Pray for all the members of the gang to spend their whole night sleeping restfully.
5.4. Believe in God's grace and mercy.Believe in God's grace and mercy.
5.5. Think of death as a transit to a world of rainbows and butterflies
5.6. Live your life to the full so that you are prepared to die at anytime.
5.7. Sing the "Don't worry, be happy" song by Bob Marley before going to sleep
6. Inside the gang
6.1. If the guy finds you, tell him that you and him are relatives, and it would be nice to catch up.
6.2. Send the gangster cake & flowers every day, maybe he will forgive you and take you off the hitlist
6.3. Try to get off with the gangsters leader so he/she spares your life.
6.4. Join the gang that wants to kill you and do whatever they order you.
6.5. Become friends with the gangster's leader so he'll spare your life.
7. Defense
7.1. Hire a couple of bodyguards to take care of you at night.
7.2. Build a panic room at home.
7.3. Buy a tank and live inside of it.
7.4. Join witness protection
7.5. Learn karate or any other martial art.
7.6. Move to Tibet and join a Chaolin Monk Temple and learn Martial Arts like a ninja assassin so you can outsmart the killers the mob sends
7.7. Get the most contagious disease, so the gangters won't have to be close to you.
7.8. Get a guard dog to protect you
7.9. Take shooting classes & buy a gun that you can use to protect yourself
7.10. Make them believe that you have implanted a bomb inside your body that is capable of blowing up the whole world and is triggered upon your death.
7.11. Sleep inside a bulletproof and indestructible oxygen-filled cylindrical container which can never be opened from the outside when engaged.
7.12. Build traps that will catch the assassin and place them all over your house
7.13. Call the police, so they can protect you.
7.14. Become friends with the enemy of the gangster and gang up on him
7.15. Join a rival gang, so they can protect you.
7.16. -
7.16.1. hire the retired 00s to protect you
7.16.2. Become friends with James Bond and get him to move in with you