We are his friends because he has chosen to disclose everything to us, During Jesus' most difficult time; servants fell asleep..., That is grace, He has patience like a good mentor
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
There must be something more to the relationship than the relationship. Otherwise change will pull friends in different directions
Don't associate with poor influences, Who do you allow to be your mentor/encourager?, Willing the ultimate good for you, Clear Foundational Values/Principles, Fruit on the tree/credibility
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
Brotherly love, True friends give the most when they receive the least, Love is willing the ultimate good for the other person
John 21:18 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
Many good friends = safety
For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers.
We need friends during adversity
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Listen to Mentors, Proverbs 24:5, The wise prevail through great power, and those who have knowledge muster their strength.
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise., intelligence is learning from your own mistakes; wisdom is learning from others
Friends help each other, CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray., Choose friends with Virtues
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm., We are a product of the people we spend time with
The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning. 7 Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips.
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, 25 or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared., Don't be friends with angry people
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother., Quality over quantity
Do to others as you would have them do to you., Golden Rule, Platinum Rule
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves., Be kind and respectful
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you., Forgive each other
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity., Forgive and serve others
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Love despite human imperfections
We have a common need to fit in, Fill this love/belonging need for your friends
Acceptance of who we are is a prerequisite to becoming who we want to be
Be a good-finder, Look for attributes that you respect, Don't wait for the funeral to speak the words
One of the greatest things a true friend can do is help a friend turn up their positive voice; while turning down the negative voice
Encourage, serve and believe in each others' gifts, talents and skills
Proverbs 27:2, Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips., This is the proper way to speak behind someone's back
Celebrate each others' successes, Celebration is how you negate jealousy
Gossip separates the best of friends
Maintain all confidences shared with unimpeachable honor and self respect
Leviticus 19:16, ‘Do not go about spreading slander among your people. “‘Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord.
Proverbs 11:13, A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Respect and Defend each others' character, reputation and motives as far as truth allows.
Address all misunderstanding promptly and privately, This ensures misunderstanding do not fester
Proverbs 27:5-6, A mentor is someone who you will tell you the truth and you'll continue to come back for more even if it hurts, Better is open rebuke than hidden love. 6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Active listening requires discipline
One of the best gifts you can give someone is your ear, Time and Attention are the most valuable things you can give someone
Learn AND care about the hopes, dreams, fears and struggles of each other
Listen with the intent to understand