Grace Haruka

1. newborn

1.1. Born bald

1.2. breast fed

1.3. hated pacifiers

1.4. "impossible to put to sleep"

1.5. no abnormalities

2. prenatal

2.1. born by Cesarian

2.2. Born at a later date then predicted

3. conception

3.1. Planned baby

4. Infancy

4.1. insomnia

4.2. relativly quiet

4.3. non aggressive.

4.4. quite active. Not only did I pulled myself up to stand, I actually danced as well.

4.5. relatively clean for a baby

4.6. no abnormalities in development

4.7. spoke only Japanese

4.8. quite independent. no attachment or anxiety issues.

5. Early Adulthood

5.1. insomnia

5.2. social phobia

5.3. developed depression

5.4. developed OCD

5.5. lowest self esteem as of yet

5.6. identity crisis: still couldn't decide who I was. japanese, America, both, neither...

5.6.1. racism

5.7. developed anxiety disorder

5.8. skin condition continues without cure. develop lactose intolerance and chronic stomach pain and irritability. immune system also weakened because of inability to eat many foods.

5.9. hard time controlling body temerature

5.10. started dating

5.10.1. came to realization that I did not need/crave/like sex

5.10.1.1. led to more rejection from peers and men

5.10.2. also came to realization that I have a hard time opening up to people. Trust issues, and an inability to show/effectively communicate my emotions/thoughts

5.11. currently active by participating in cardio kickboxing classes

5.12. developed eating problem

5.12.1. I am afraid to eat food in fear of gaining weight because I believe I am not thin enough.

5.12.1.1. It took me a long time to realize and accept the fact that I have a self image problem

5.13. Currently learning to deal and cope with stress in more effective way

5.14. went back to japan for study abroad in year 2011 - 2012.

5.14.1. gave me more self confidence and finally solved my identity crisis.

5.14.1.1. made me realize what I want to do in the future and where I want to go.

5.14.1.1.1. Japan gave me purpose to keep going

5.15. starting to make friends again in senior year of college

5.16. possibly get married

5.16.1. but no children

5.17. move to Japan,

5.17.1. go back to fashion school

5.17.1.1. get fashion job

5.17.1.1.1. escalate to fashion designer

5.18. hopefully begin to find treatment for above problems and overcome fears. build self esteem as well

5.19. currently learning Korean. Hope to continue to do so. Learn French as fourth language

6. Middle Adulthood

6.1. continue to be active

6.1.1. to make sure not to become obese

6.2. mother with history of rheumatoid arthritis: not hereditary, but possible

6.3. May experience an episode of depression once again

6.4. continue to be successful in fashion industry

6.4.1. international designer by then, not just Japan

6.5. If I am married, I hope I have been able to finally understand why I currently believe I am asexual, or why I am not as sexual as my peers

6.6. body will start to deteriorate. new illnesses and problems may arise

6.7. possible mid-life crisis

6.8. and stress from changes

6.8.1. physical, mental, etc

7. Preschool years

7.1. On the taller side, compared to my fellow japanese playmates

7.2. Very early potty training

7.3. sleep troubles continued

7.4. Taller than class mates

7.5. normal weight for height

7.6. easy transition to solid food

7.7. clean, and sensitive. Cried a lot. more of a sad child, then an extraverted happy-go-lucky one.

7.8. Non aggressive and shy. Cried when punched or pushed around, dramatic with pain.

7.9. very independent. Spent a week away from home e when mother was in the hospital with younger brother. no problems at all.

7.10. started to pick up english from father

7.11. displaid creativity through art. Avid artist: paint, draw, etc.

7.12. started to display interest in feminine things: wanted to have hair curled, picked out whole outfits to wear for that day.

7.13. took things seriously.

7.14. Very mature for my age.

7.15. had many friends/made friends normally

8. Middle Childhood

8.1. At age 8: move to america

8.2. most traumatic/difficult time of childhood

8.3. difficult time transitioning.

8.4. developed social phobia through racism and bullying

8.5. difficulty making friends. more time in isolation than with peers.

8.6. became introverted

8.7. sensitive, and took things seriously.

8.8. had healthy body weight and height

8.9. active in extracurricular activities: piano lessons and ballet

8.10. started to learn english at school, but there was a large language barrier for a very long time

8.11. low self esteem

9. Adolescence

9.1. Was the tallest in class from preschool to junior high.

9.2. puberty started at grade 6

9.3. tomboy until high school

9.4. still experienced insomnia

9.5. still experienced racism

9.6. little friends, none that were considered very close

9.7. self esteem still low, and transition to high school lead to make-up and interest in fashion. became feminine.

9.8. no drugs or alcohol.

9.9. started to worry about weight

9.10. no sex

9.11. Realized potential in fashion in high school. Started to draw illustrations and show interest in altering clothes

9.12. struggled in school, social wise and academic wise. Did well in art and language courses, but had difficulty in math and science.

9.13. spent most of free time doing art

9.14. most likely suffered from some sort of identity diffusion. Had a difficult time accepting who i was

9.15. developed health issues: sensitive skin/dry skin, discoloration of skin and irritation

10. Late adulthood

10.1. vision problem

10.2. hearing problem

10.3. memory problems

10.4. new illnesses

10.5. new disorders

10.6. retirement

10.7. maybe my death, or death of possible husband

10.8. If i become a vegatable, or get to the point where I cannot live independently, I would consider assisted suicide. but I do not believe that is offered in Japan

10.9. If I do live to be a healthy older woman, I hope to still be living in Japan, since the elders there are treated as wise, respected people

10.10. I hope I will not have to go to a nursing facility or retirement home but it is possible.

10.11. fear losing independence

10.12. may end up taking care of husband. or becoming a widow

10.13. If I did end up with kids, I would not want to burden them by having me live with them. so independence is very important to me

11. death and dying

11.1. like I mentioned before, I would like to die before I lose my independence. I will not like to live on if I have to have my diaper changed

11.2. I would chose DNR

11.3. I would also chose to be cremated instead of put into a box