1. Fear
1.1. Scared: I'll never pass
1.1.1. Maybe, maybe not. There are so many amazing examples of before / after pictures that are truly inspiring. Passing OR not passing probably becomes a zero sum game: women constantly worry about their looks and I assume I could easily become obsessed with it. Better to concentrate on emotional transition first, looks second.
1.2. Alone forever: No one will want to date me
1.2.1. Dating pool will substantially decrease, that's assured. But I have a feeling if I'm secure and content with myself internally, I'll attract like minded others.
1.3. Rejection: My family and friends will disown me
1.3.1. Friends and family didn't disown me when I came out as bi so why would they now? The more I think about this the more I'm less concerned about it. Some will be bothered by it and won't stick around (some old friends) but no doubt I'll find new ones that are more aligned. Family: extended family (plus sister) is heavily christian so no doubt they'll flip their shit. The reality is I'll just have to be prepared for a *bit* of rejection.
1.4. I might regret this: And fuck up my body in the process
1.4.1. If I decided to detransission, it's possible: Sperm banking is a must, even though I really doubt I'll need - better to be safe than sorry. Gynaecomastia op to remove breast growth. Viagra for erectile dysfunction. Fat redistribution would gradually decrease over time. Decreased libido could be countered but not a huge concern for me. Having said this, yes I might fuck my body up a bit - but is that not better than the alternative (always regretting I never even tried)?
1.5. This is all a fetish
1.5.1. Also doubtful. It just doesn't feel like I would be this heavily invested in this if it was purely sexual - I would have gotten bored of it already. But having said that I think I'd be remiss to think that creating a new sexual identity isn't an attractive proposition.
2. Love
2.1. Relieved, Calm: A sense of relaxation, finally I can be myself
2.2. Happy, Excited: Something to really look forward to
2.3. A new beginning: A chance to draw a line in the sand and remake myself
2.4. Holy shit: I'll get to wear female clothing all the time. The choices! The shoes! The Makeup! Woooooooo!
3. Questions
3.1. Referals
3.1.1. Sperm bank
3.1.2. Endocrinologist
3.1.2.1. Q: Can I take hormones before I transition socially?
3.1.2.2. Q: When can I start?
3.1.3. Hair Removal - laser and electrolysis