How does your body language reveal you thoughts?por Lea Avdic
1. Alessandra Pigni. “Symbolic communication and silence in an informal interpersonal helping process (extract from the film Chocolata by Lasse Hallstrom)”, Psychodynamic Practice, November 2006; 12(4): 453-461
1.1. Alessadra Pigni writes about the significance of the non-verbal communication that is unconsciously picked up by person’s mind. The author is using a four minute film Chocolata, to support her theses. Through examples from the film she explains how the symbolic gestures, body language and silence bring up very important meaning to what the person is saying. In one scene Josephine comes to the chocolaterie because she needs help, however she says that the reason she came is because she forgot to pay the pervious time she visited the chocolate shop. Vienne invites her inside the store. Their actions show that even though they didn’t specifically express their intentions they understood and accepted each other. By giving other examples from the short film, Alessandra proves her point, that the unconscious gestures, body language and silence make a conversation more meaningful, and if these segments are not taken in consideration, the meaning of the words may be misunderstood.
2.1. Article written by Chillot Rick that talks about body language and the use of touch in a conversation. According to one of the researchers, body language cannot be translated and its grammar is hard to be defined because it is very depended on the context. One way of explaining the power of body language is by the following example: there are quite few words to express joy, however by adding the use of body language, facial expressions and touch, the message one is trying to present will be enhanced. This article also talks about the importance of touch and body language in new born child’s life. Indeed, that is the first language we all learn. We start receiving signals while in the mother’s uterus, because we feel the vibrations of the mother’s heartbeat. It is important for a new born child to feel the mothers touch and watched the ways she communicates with the baby with her body, because that is the only language a new born actually understands.
3. Lenell, Wayne. Silent Communication Part VI. “What messages a speaker’s or listener’s fidgetting hands can communicate” Priest. Jan2015, Vol. 71 Issue 1, p33-33. 1p.
3.1. In the article “What messages a speaker’s or listener’s fidgetting hands can communicate” Wayne Lenell talks about the use of hands while communicating and the different messages that each motion could express. The author gives an example of a speaker touching or pinching his or her nose, could indicate that they are exaggerating the truth. However, the listener has to be aware of the fact that the speaker might simply have an itchy nose at the particular moment, and might touch or pinch his nose without the intention of sending the wrong message. Also, according to Wayne Lenell, the listener’s actions give away a significant meaning during the conversation. For example, if the listener closes his/her eyes and pinches his/her nose at the same time, it could mean that they don’t quite agree with the information they just have received. The body language has stronger message than what people just see and many times certain gestures might send the message which the speaker was not even aware of.
4. Lenell, Wayne. Silent Communication Part VII. “When It Comes To Communication The Eyes Have It” Priest. Jan 2015, Vol. 71 Issue 1, p33-33. 1p
4.1. In the article “When it comes to communication the eyes have it” Wayne Lenell talks about eye contacts. Eye expressions can send significant messages to people. For example, if you having a conversation with someone and that person’s eyes widen, that means the points you have made in your conversation interest the listener. On the other hand, if the listener starts rubbing his/her eyes that means that whatever you are saying is boring them. Another powerful eye action is the winking of your eye. The winking means that what you are saying is not what you actually mean. It could be the secret between two friends. Also, the winking of your eye can mean that you have liked the particular thing the person said or did.
5. Lenell, Wayne. Silent Communication Part III. “A review of arms — from the ‘self-hug’ to the ‘at ease’ positions” Priest. Oct2014, Vol. 70 Issue 10, p35-35. 1p.
5.1. In the article “A review of arms — from the ‘self-hug’ to the ‘at ease’ positions Wayne Lenell discussing the use of arms in conversations, and what would particular actions mean. According to the article, the person would be in “self-hug” position when he/she is unsecured. The example of the body language that could send this message is when the person holds tightly his upper arm while his/her arms are crossed. The complete opposite of “self-hug” position is “at ease” position. When the person experiences “at ease” position he/she is feeling confident at that moment. The example that Wayne Lenell mentions is that when the person is confident, he/she keeps the hands behind themselves. Another interesting gesture was brought up by the author is when people feel nervous, they create some sort of the barrier in between them and the speaker. The article has the perfect example for that type of the situation; when a female feels nervous, she holds her hand bag in front of her, what creates the barrier between her and the speaker.
6. Booher, Dianna. “Communicate with Confidence and Make Your Body Language Say the Right Thing.” Women in Business. November/December 99, Vol. 51 Issue 6, p36. 4p.
6.1. Dianna Booher advices her readers to pay close attention to their voice, body language and posture while talking to someone, otherwise there is a big chance that they will be misunderstood or that they might send the wrong message. Important “tool” while speaking is our voice. There are a lot of conclusions the listener could come up with just from the speaker’s voice. People who have high pitch voice tend to give out an impression of being immature, anxious, or lacking confidence. While people with low pitch voices are known to be calm, confident and competent. Also the speed is something the speaker should be careful about, because if he/she speaks fast than all of the attention will definitely be on them, however the listener won’t really have time to think about what the speaker is saying. Unlike in the conversation when the speaker is talking slowly and the listener has time to digest all the information. Another thing that the listener notices about the speaker is his posture. The posture of the speaker could tell if he/she are nervous, tired, or confident. The distance between the speaker and the listener is something Booher mentions as well. The distance depends of the relationship between the speaker and the listener, so if we are talking to a family member or a close friend patting them on the beck, whispering to their ear, giving them a hug, is consider to be appropriate, other than that the distance of 4 to 12 feet would be most appropriate while talking to a stranger.
7. Jan Hargrave: "Understanding Body Language" on LIVING SMART with PATRICIA GRAS, September 12, 2012
7.1. The show Living Smart with Patricia Grass, invited Jan Hardgrave, who is a body language expert, to have a conversation about body language communication. As an expert, Jan Hardgrave explained that 55% of our communication is our body language, 38% is our voice and only 7% are the actual words we speak. Handshakes are very important when a person is meeting someone for the first time. An appropriate business handshake is vertical. Vertical handshake sends a message that each person has an equal opportunity to talk. A person should not give a weak handshake, because that will make the person they are shaking hands with think that he/she is nervous or unconfident. According Jan Hargrave, it is easy to realize if someone is lying to us. Liars usually rub their nose with their left hand while lying. When the person does the same gesture while listening to someone that means he/she does not believe in the information they have received. It is easy to catch a liar because they most of the times try not to make an eye contact with the listener. If the person blinks too much, that is also is a sign of dishonesty. Another interesting gesture Patricia and Jan discuss is the steeple gesture, that gives out an impression of the speakers confidence.
