How to Stop worrying and start living

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How to Stop worrying and start living by Mind Map: How to Stop worrying and start living

1. Links

1.1. Buy the book

1.1.1. Amazon link below

1.2. Dale Carnegie training

1.2.1. www.dalecarnegie.com

1.3. Get this Mindmap

1.3.1. It is a great bird's eye view of the book

1.3.2. In a moment - you can see all the best ideas in one place

1.3.3. You don't even need to watch the video or listen to the audio again

1.3.4. Just go to the mind map and click on the idea you want to explore

1.3.5. www.2000books.com/self

1.3.6. Click on the i button on the top right corner of your screen

1.3.7. Link in the description below

2. Day Tight Compartments

2.1. Like a Giant Ship's Water tight compartments

2.1.1. In case of a leak in one compartment

2.1.2. various parts of the ship are shut off from one another

2.1.2.1. Leak is limited to one area

2.1.3. Shut the iron doors of past and future

2.2. Break down your Giant goals and Big Worries - into what you can do today

2.2.1. What can you ACT on today?

2.2.2. What would be a WIN today?

2.3. Just Focus on Winning Today

2.3.1. Rather than worrying about everything else

3. What's the worst that could happen?

3.1. Ask yourself

3.1.1. Whats the worst that could happen?

3.2. Accept the worst case

3.2.1. Nothing more to loose!

3.3. Now begin to improve upon the worst case situation

3.4. Executive Toughness - Jason Selk

3.4.1. Relentless Solution Focus

3.4.1.1. No mater how bad the situation, what one thing can I do to improve it right now

3.4.1.2. Just focus on that 1 thing you can do to improve this situation

4. Forget your own happiness and instead create happiness for others

4.1. Our instinct is to shrink up and be with ourselves

4.1.1. But we have to do the exact opposite

4.2. Help Others in Need

4.3. Paradox of life

4.3.1. When you set out to make others happy

4.3.1.1. You get even more happiness in return

4.4. John D Rockefeller Story

4.4.1. At 33 - made his 1st million

4.4.2. at 43 - the biggest oil tycoon in the world

4.4.3. at 53 - he was stricken with a mystery disease

4.4.3.1. Started losing all his hair

4.4.3.2. Could not digest any food

4.4.3.2.1. Left to eating curdled milk and crackers

4.4.3.3. Insomnia

4.4.4. "Sane in every respect, but mad about money"

4.4.5. Doctors said he was stricken with worry

4.4.5.1. Nothing could be done to cure it

4.4.5.2. He had to take a break

4.4.6. One night

4.4.6.1. During his insomnia

4.4.6.1.1. He started thinking of other people

4.4.6.2. Stopped thinking of how much money he could acquire

4.4.6.3. Started thinking of what that money could do for human happiness

4.4.7. Right after that

4.4.8. Started giving it away

4.4.8.1. Rescued a little college that was about to be foreclosed

4.4.8.1.1. "University of Chicago"

4.4.8.2. Gave it to churches

4.4.8.2.1. They would not take it

4.4.8.3. Health

4.4.8.3.1. Helped wipe out "hookworm"

4.4.8.4. Created "Rockefeller Foundation"

4.4.8.4.1. Helped stop spinal meningitis

4.4.8.4.2. Helped with

4.4.9. Then came the greatest defeat of his career

4.4.9.1. Standard Oil was forced to pay the biggest fine in US history

4.4.9.2. Told his lawyer:

4.4.9.2.1. "Dont worry Mr Johnson, I intent to get a good night's sleep"

4.4.10. Lived to the age of 98!

4.5. Book: Upside of Stress - Kelly McGonigal

4.5.1. Study

4.5.1.1. 1000 adults

4.5.1.1.1. 34-93 yrs old

4.5.1.2. How much stress have you experienced in the last one year

4.5.1.2.1. High Stress

4.5.1.2.2. +30% risk of death

4.5.1.3. How much time have you spent helping others

4.5.1.3.1. +0% risk of death

4.5.1.3.2. Weekly basis

4.5.2. Stress Makes you Social

4.5.2.1. We have a built in mechanism for stress management

4.5.2.1.1. And that is social connection

4.5.2.2. Stress Releases Oxytocin

4.5.2.2.1. It affects your mind and body

4.5.2.2.2. The benefits of oxytocin are enhanced when you reach out to others for support

5. Make a plan

5.1. Q1: What exactly am I worried about?

5.2. Q2: What can I do about it? What is under my control?

5.2.1. Stoic Philosophy 101

5.3. Q3: What will I do

5.4. Q4: When will I do those things?

5.4.1. Specific Time and Place

5.4.2. Calendar

6. Get Busy

6.1. Get Busy solving your problems

6.1.1. Solving problems so demanding that you have no time to worry about anything else

6.2. George Bernard Shaw

6.2.1. "The secret to being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not"

6.3. Lose yourself in action and you will not have the time to worry

6.3.1. Work so hard that you are exhausted by the end of the day

6.4. Real story from his class - Michael

6.4.1. Lost 5 yr old daughter

6.4.2. 10 months later

6.4.2.1. Lost the newly born baby

6.4.3. Could not take it any more

6.4.3.1. Went to doctors

6.4.3.1.1. Doctors ordered him to

6.4.4. Still had a 4 yr old son

6.4.4.1. One day, Michael's Son insisted on helping him build a toy boat

6.4.4.1.1. Michael said NO

6.4.4.1.2. He had no interest

6.4.4.2. Son kept on insisting

6.4.4.3. Michael finally gave in

6.4.4.4. Worked with his son for 3 hours to build the toy boat

6.4.4.4.1. Those 3 hours were the most peaceful 3 hours he had in a very long time.

6.4.4.5. Major realization

6.4.4.5.1. Being busy had cured his worry for the time

6.4.4.6. Next day

6.4.4.6.1. Went around house making a list of everything that needed to be done. 242 things

6.4.4.7. And he attended to those things over the next few months

6.4.4.7.1. Totally stopped worrying

6.5. Winston Churchill

6.5.1. Are you worried about the war and the responsibilities you have?

6.5.2. "I'm too busy. I have no time for worry"

6.6. Tennyson

6.6.1. I must lose myself in action lest I wither in despair

6.7. Why does it work?

6.7.1. Law of human mind

6.7.1.1. It is not possible to think about 2 things at the same time

6.7.1.2. Try this experiment right now

6.7.1.2.1. Think of an elephant

6.7.1.2.2. Now also think about your biggest goal for this year

6.7.1.2.3. Its not possible to think of both at the same time

7. Accept what is

7.1. William James

7.1.1. "Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune"

7.2. Serenity Prayer

7.2.1. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference"

7.2.2. Basic Stoicisim

7.2.2.1. Being able to distinguish between what you can control and what you can not control.

7.3. JC Penney

7.3.1. "I wouldn't worry if I lost every single dollar because I don't see what's to be gained by worrying. I do the best job I can and leave the results in the laps of god"

7.4. Epictetus

7.4.1. "There is only one way to happiness. And that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond the power of will"

8. Don't overpay for the whistle

8.1. Ben Franklin Story

8.1.1. Story left such a mark on him that he still recounted this story when he was 70

8.1.2. 7 yrs old

8.1.2.1. Was smitten with a whistle

8.1.2.2. Saved up all his money

8.1.2.3. Went to the store

8.1.2.3.1. Put all his money down and asked for the whistle

8.1.2.3.2. came back home very happy - he had his dream whistle

8.1.2.4. Going around home playing whistle

8.1.2.5. Siblings found out how much he paid for the whistle

8.1.2.5.1. Started making fun of him because he had overpaid

8.1.2.6. Lost all the joy in the whistle

8.1.3. 77 yrs old

8.1.3.1. A great part of the miseries of the mankind are brought upon them by a false estimates they have made of the value of things - and by giving too much for their whistles

8.2. A lot of things in life are like that whistle

8.2.1. We do not realize that we are overpaying

8.2.2. But we continue to pine for it

8.3. Even Money can be like that whistle

8.3.1. Are you paying too much in terms of health, family, happiness etc to get that whistle?

8.4. Ask yourself

8.4.1. Am I paying too much for this whistle?

9. About

9.1. Book

9.1.1. Sold 6 Million copies

9.1.2. Published in 1944

9.2. Recommendation

9.2.1. Tony Robbins said: "The size of your life is directly proportional to the size of the problems you are handling"

9.2.2. Why should you read this book? Who is this book for?

9.2.2.1. If you have worries in your life

9.2.2.2. If you feel that you are being run by those worries

9.2.2.3. If you want very specific, actionable advice on how to conquer worry

9.2.2.4. If you want to enjoy life rather while handling big problems and challenges

9.2.2.5. If you want to accomplish your biggest goals

9.2.2.5.1. Rather than getting stopped by worries

9.2.3. As you know

9.2.3.1. I never summarize a book that I do not recommend

9.2.4. Book has over 28 great ideas on how to stop worrying and start living

9.2.5. I am covering a few of my favorite ideas and how you can apply them

9.3. Author

9.3.1. Dale Carnegie

9.3.1.1. Author of one of the greatest self help books of all time

9.3.1.1.1. How to win friends and influence people

9.3.1.2. Self help author , speaker and trainer

9.3.2. Dale Carnegie Training

9.3.2.1. Exists till date

9.3.2.2. Warren Buffet calls it one of the most important trainings he did in his career

10. Ben Franklin's 2 Column Technique

10.1. Worried about making the right decision

10.2. Make 2 columns in a page

10.2.1. Pros

10.2.2. Cons

10.3. List out all the Pros and Cons in those 2 columns

10.4. Now you have all of your decision making points on one page

10.5. If you find 2 points that are of equal weight on either columns - cross them out

10.6. If you find one point on one side that has the same weight as 3 points on the other side - cross them out as well

10.7. At the end you will be left with very few items and you decision will be much easier