1. Travel the world
1.1. Alternate between motorhomes and houseboat
1.1.1. Spend all my money on gas and shrimp tacos
1.1.1.1. get occasional stomach diseases
1.1.1.1.1. New node
1.1.1.2. learn where shrimp come from
1.1.2. Make lots of friends I will never see again
1.2. see plenty of live music
1.2.1. get better at hula hooping
1.2.2. get really tan and freckley
1.3. have a lot of crazy tales to tell the young ones
1.3.1. Have many bastard young ones
1.3.2. Be rejected by society for gypsy lifestyle
2. Become a recluse in the country
2.1. Live in a shotgun shack
2.1.1. learn how to shoot a shotgun
2.1.2. buy bullets and a sawed off shotgun
2.2. actually write something worthwhile
2.2.1. hold fans in contempt, a la J.D. Salinger
2.2.2. Get published under a fake name
2.3. Lose touch with reality
2.4. Finally admit to embracing most conspiracy theories
2.4.1. Write Glenn Beck weekly
2.4.1.1. New node
2.4.2. Fake an alien abduction to prove my point
3. Become a teacher
3.1. Work really hard
3.1.1. Work all the time
3.1.2. Become very studious and smart looking
3.1.3. Start looking older than actual age
3.2. Have no life out side of school
3.2.1. Become best friends with other teachers
3.2.1.1. Everyday becomes an episode of Glee
3.2.2. Get in good with the lunch ladies
3.3. But have a really fulfilling career!
3.3.1. Help the young ones succeed
3.3.1.1. Boost feelings of self worth through learning and teaching
3.3.2. Give back in a meaningful way
3.3.2.1. Live a balanced, respectable life
3.3.3. Add meaning to an otherwise self-centered existence