Guide to the World and Me

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Guide to the World and Me by Mind Map: Guide to the World and Me

1. Personality

1.1. Peeves

1.1.1. OCD Perhaps not so much OCD as a desire to control external circumstances. I don't like the idea of neglected things cluttering the virtual space. Everything I cannot overview is in disorder. If something stays untouched in the same place for too long it becomes disorderly. Sometimes I need to remove things and put them back again. Sometimes I realise that there is consistency and order in the universe because everything is where it is. The Holocaust was OCD induced. Hitler was essentially a man who would not stand for disorder and defiance. By any means, he would eventually have killed everyone if he'd been left to it. Although I am of Jewish heritage, I don't think I take the Holocaust seriously enough. Perhaps it's a generational thing. I draw maps, just in case. They are often admired, if not only for their mere existence, for their clear landmarks and lack of scale.

1.1.2. Idiots Romantic poetry girl Clearly has no conception of literature and says "like" when discussing classical works. Vagina man Conceited, creepy and perverted. Alliances girl Forces people to stay with her. Finds higher meditations disturbing. I sympathise but still don't like her. Oedipus man Regards himself above study because his father already taught him everything he needs to know. Probably a liar. Hat and coat man Laughs out loud when reading on his own. Loves the sound of his own voice. Got humourously angry when he did not win sonnet competition and discarded all other contestants as crap. He has bleached his hair. It looks quite awful. I am pleased at the sight. The Wall Theory of Knowledge teacher who ordered us to think for ourselves. Thought he was stirring thoughts up but in fact only made people angry. Big Lennon and Chomsky fan. Lonely strangers For some reason, random, socially underperforming people seem to think it's okay to commence a discussion with me without my addressing them first. Decisive people Tend to be politically active, especially left-wing, leading of "superior" alternative lifestyles and deeply culturally involved. As I am naturally subversive, they intimidate me. Camp people No matter their gender, campness is not charming, just annoying. Most people who like the same things as me Some examples are: Monty Python, vampires, the environment, literature, circus arts. People who think they hold supreme truth This category of people either scares me or angers me or both. Proud mac users Usually creative types who claim they could not work without their precious machine. But I think they could really. Pseudoculturals Believe they are better than other people because they have an appreciation of "fine art". Usually wear black and consume wine, coffee, cigarettes. Nothing else. People who are in love with themselves They look at others with less entusiasm than they look in the mirror. Vanity, though I am as guilty as anyone of it, is a sin I have a hard time overlooking. Religious fanatics of all creeds and nations The act as if they specifically want to be angry. People who "treat themselves" To things like expensive shopping, spa treatment and the occasional faraway holiday, and see this as a sign of their wealth, expecting others to admire them. I particularly condemn the behaviour because the phrase "Treat yourself!" is highly responsible for unhealth and skewed perceptions of consumerism. People lacking modesty I have caught myself in the realisation that I cannot enjoy the company of people who do do not suffer from a sense of modesty, or at least some form of underlying self-hatred. This is probably due to my Swedish upbringing. Bum-lickers I tick violently at people who constantly undermine their own opinions in order to please (or not displease) others. There is something about this submissive behaviour that makes me want to bully them, but since I am myself quite submissive and well-mannered, I am too afraid to do anything. People who assume your ignorance Do not speak to me as if I were a child. I am not incapable or stupid.

1.1.3. Stupid things people do Get angry over petty things and take it out on others. Produce sudden violent noises and/or physical impacts, especially when drunk. Either evokes Hulk-like rage in me. Sneeze or cough in their hand and then immediately touch a public instrument like a door handle. Willfully conceal harmless personal information, experience, opinion or emotion. See: Bum-lickers Become afraid of me because I act or think differently. It's not as if I can help it. Hurt each other.

1.1.4. I'm a social nightmare I have no grasp of conventions. See: Defense mechanisms Even if I don't say something stupid, I often leave the company of others feeling like a complete twat. Sometimes, however, my ability to generate small-talk has been admired. My inability to say "no" has often landed me in trouble. See: Lonely strangers No matter what my friends say, I frequently gain the impression that people dislike or are annoyed by me. I need to learn to shut up. But the truth will out, always.

1.2. Obsessions

1.2.1. Environmentalism People who can't be bothered piss me off. I share Tolkien's fear and hatred of technology and where it will take us. Unfortunately, I am also addicted to it. See: Computers; Being close to nature is beautiful Helping the world Reduce energy. Turn off your stuff. Do not underestimate the power you have as a consumer. Demand things that are good for you and the planet. Support small, local companies. At least as long as they are nice. Don't eat our friends the animals. Not only is it hypocritical but also bad for the planet. Buy locally grown and organic. You can afford it, you stingy fuck. It's only money. Keep bees. I am sincerely concerned about their future.

1.2.2. Consumerism The food industry Corrupted and run by people who don't give a toss about people's health. The ruthless mass-production of animals reminds me of the Holocaust. Boycotting I boycott entirely: McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, Subway, Pizza Hut, Dove, Gap, Nestlé, Palmolive, Colgate, Facebook. I struggle to avoid: Coca-Cola, KRAFT, Kellogg's, Tesco, ASDA, Apple, Microsoft. Companies I probably shouldn't trust: Google, YouTube, Waitrose. See: Huge companies Capitalism Huge companies Marketing Diversification Consumer loyalty Brand names Everything has a price

1.2.3. Non-conformity Vulgar literature Because instead of confrontation, you receive dubious looks. There is something very hardcore and tasteless about profaning the literary form with pornography. See: Sexual revolution Clowns, jesters and mimes They're a bit like a middle finger pointed at everyone taking themselves too seriously. Unfortunately, in practice, most people providing embodiment to these characters are decisive. Body hair I tend to think shaved body parts look vulgar. Also, is it not perverted to strive for a child-like look in the pursuit of sex? Transvestitism Should be "transvestisism". Men look better in dresses than women do. I like Eddie Izzard more when he's wearing ladies' attire. See: Campness Cannibalism From an omnivore point of view, being a cannibal simply means being morally consistent. Don't pretend to set aside those who have a voice to protest from those who don't. Smells I can no longer stand most artificial smells. On a conceptual level, they create an illusion of removed mortality. Deodorants with alcohol make my sweat smell like petrol. According to Misse, I smelled "happy" in the summer of 2009. Apparently, women smell like fish and men like cheese. This means women must be ancestors to men because fish came first. Walking past the shelf where vanilla powder is kept in the store always makes me think of "Amélie aime..." See: Distinguishing traits

1.2.4. Vampires As long as they are swift, cold, intelligent and morally torn. The recent popularisation of vampires makes me annoyed and sad. See: Twilight

1.3. Lessons learned

1.3.1. Don't rely on your faith in people.

1.3.2. If companies are big, they are probably evil. See: Huge companies

1.3.3. People live their lives in separate goldfish bowls. If the water is clear, you can see most of the contents. But knock on the glass as much as you like, you cannot come inside.

1.3.4. Everybody dies alone because everybody also lives alone. See: Death

1.3.5. I think I've learnt, to an extent, to be content. As long as something doesn't make me unhappy, I will just go with it. Not entirely certain if this is a symptom of impeding Adulthood Apathy. See: Svensson

1.4. Defense mechanisms

1.4.1. Avoiding any actual issues by producing stunningly imaginative nonsense.

1.4.2. Undermining my own abilities, complaining or whining. I suppose this is a subconscious drive to plead for their sympathy.

1.4.3. Drawing attention from my behaviour by offering pieces of far too personal information.

1.4.4. In very pressed situations, brutal honesty and eloquent expression of emotion.

1.4.5. When I don't know what to say, I tend to imitate others. However, this can also be used affectionately.

1.5. Distinguishing traits

1.5.1. Descartes' demon Professor Brownsey: "A doubt, in general, of all things." And if not doubt, then guilt or despair.

1.5.2. I identify myself as a nervous extrovert, a quote taken from "Something Happened" by Joseph Heller. See: Defense mechanisms; I'm a social nightmare

1.5.3. I've been admired for "always being myself" when really there is nothing else I know how to be. See: Stupid things people do

1.5.4. I am very proud of my education and cognitive ability. I hate to be undermined, dominated or regulated. I refuse to be forced. See: People who assume your ignorance; Non-conformity

1.5.5. At the same time, I have an impractically great sense of obligation towards other people and will always do my best to impress and appease. See: Decisive people; Authorities; Jantelagen

1.5.6. I am very concerned for people to like me, even if I don't like them. This is why my shortcomings are always followed by excuses and pleads for forgiveness. See: Defense mechanisms

1.5.7. I value consistency immensely, especially in moral matters. See: OCD; Cannibalism

2. Just thoughts

2.1. Time

2.1.1. The future Unborn children have a lot of expectations on them. One day, we will be ancestors. People will look at us just as we look at the people who lived a hundred years ago. Old people have bad taste, and we will have bad taste when we are old. But just how bad are we talking about here? Will something happen in 2012? In which order will my friends and loved ones die? See: Death

2.1.2. Heritage Since humans started writing things down, we don't have to learn everything. For every generation, however, there is more to be known. Not fair to future students. The things that are not recorded will probably not be remembered. See: Literacy Eventually, popular refernces will be lost. Future generations will add their own mark and forget about ours. Modern writing will make little sense. See: Sex in music is hilarious Being part of history is exciting, but fairly depressing. We never know where new experiences are going to take us, and cannot be wise about them until afterwards. My children My photographs will be anonymous imprints, possibly even to my children, when I die. Due to my dad and genetics, my children will with all probability have brown eyes and black curly hair.

2.1.3. Some generations are more privileged than others Technology is a privilege and a confinement. Before, people had to use their brains. How did people find things before Google? My generation fails to take anything important seriously. But we do have a great sense of humour. Previous generations seemed to do important things. Currently we rely on a culture of bad taste and its defiance. I will probably miss the next '60s as well.

2.2. Being close to nature is beautiful

2.2.1. The sun has healing powers. See: Jews

2.2.2. At one point, nature will overcome human constructions, and the houses will be empty and the streets lifeless. Even though I will not be there, I look forward to it.

2.2.3. I wish my future to be more silent, simplified and agricultural.

2.3. Everyone is on the autism scale

2.3.1. Think of what that implies.

2.4. Literacy

2.4.1. How valuable and strange that we can silently transplant ideas into each other's heads. That we can be remembered longer.

2.4.2. It's just symbols. See: Money; Maths

2.5. Death

2.5.1. Death glorifies. This may be because it brings on an act of active remembrance. Also, it often implies that the person died for their art, adding to the image as the Artist as a Martyr and Enlightened. Much loved dead pop people: Kurt Cobain, John Lennon, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson. My favourite dead person is Graham Chapman.

2.5.2. I believe in reincarnation sometimes. People I may have been: Graham Chapman, Jean-Paul Marat.

2.5.3. I really don't mind dying as long as it's painless. This does not mean that I wish to die, but it certainly would provide a nice rest.

2.5.4. How do you know you're not already dead?

2.5.5. I remember a story of an infant who suffocated when a cat slept on top of it.

2.6. Synchronicity

2.6.1. I conjure coins, I find them often, but not by looking. I sometimes dream I find a trail of them. See: Dreams; Conjuring

2.6.2. On the way to buy a PC, having had a Mac for three years, I cycled for a ways behind a car with the registry plate OSX.

2.6.3. On Towel Day I checked my cell phone credit to find it was exactly 42 SEK.

2.6.4. Before Pi's birthday (7/7), sevens kept popping up everywhere. When I text her to tell her this, the word "sjuor" ("sevens") transforms in T9 to "slump" ("coincidence"). On her birthday gathering, I tell her family the story, and when done, I receive a text message back from an answer service, to which I have asked, "How many minutes does the average person spend sneezing per year?". The answer, of course, is 7.

2.7. Sleep logic

2.7.1. There is no such thing.

2.8. Dreams

2.8.1. I often dream of water in various locations. Perhaps because I'm dehydrated.

2.9. Conjuring

2.9.1. I started conjuring things after I read an internet article that said you should think coins as hidden by someone for you to find. Apparently, thinking about money will make you rich, but I'm not so bothered about that. See: Money

2.9.2. I once conjured a lost £85 bus card.

2.10. Human nature

2.10.1. We are animals. Primitive, urge-driven beings, with all the horrific power of intellect. See: Evilution Humans travelling with children are especially adjacent to the animal kingdom, foremost in their expression of physical relationships and dependency. See: Lions

2.10.2. Humans like and expect repetition. It is especially visible in small children and in music, but is present to some extent in all human activity. Companies use this to their advantage. See: Marketing; Consumer loyalty; The human need to categorise Imitation, the most frequent sign of affection, interest, acknowledgement or approval, is a form of repetition. See: Defense mechanisms

2.10.3. It is within the human nature to destroy because it is the simplest way to prove that the power to influence things is ours.

2.10.4. Nobody can ever force you to do anything. Do not forget that obligation is a human construction. See: Distinguishing traits

2.11. Maths

2.11.1. It only exists in the mind. 1 = √1 = √(-1^2) = -1

2.12. Exclusion of Pluto

2.12.1. It's odd to think we suddenly have one less planet.

2.13. Technology

2.13.1. See: Being close to nature is beautiful; Environmentalism

2.13.2. If technology fails, all the virtual information will be lost or hidden. See: Phobias

2.13.3. My lack of trust in robots probably rests mainly on my lack of trust in humans. See: Lessons learned

2.14. Computers/internet

2.14.1. Saying "I knew that before it was famous" nowadays is nigh-on impossible since the most popular phenomena usually become such within 48 hours from upload. See: Technology

2.14.2. I like how the internet has a sense of chaos and anarchy about it, but it also drives me nuts. See: OCD; Some generations are more privileged than others; Civil disobedience

2.14.3. In future, will we keep Tweets like photographs? See: Social networks

2.14.4. Windows/Mac/Linux I've come to accept the fact that people in general just have no idea which is better or why. It's all about face. Mac differs from PC in the following ways: 1. More white. 2. More money. 3. More hipsters. See: Mac users; Brand names; Consumer loyalty; Decisive people; Fashion Mac occupies the space in my heart that was previously reserved for Waitrose: Excluding certain types of people by charging more for the same products. Although once inventive, handy and simple to use, an overwhelming desire to be more like Mac has led to Windows overloading itself with unneccessary functions, making it stupidly impractical and annoying. I run Linux mainly just to make my nerd mentor proud. See: Jonfen

2.14.5. Bing is a good search engine. If you're looking exclusively for illiterate porn.

2.15. Theories

2.15.1. Evilution The development of increased menace in order to survive. An example of this is how babboons in tourist areas have learned to steal from people's handbags. Crimes become more and more elaborate. See: Zoe

2.15.2. Inherent onion sympathy Which is why we cry when we mutilate them. I wrote a sonnet about it.

2.15.3. Belgium is made of chocolate The name alone makes the mouth water. They once colonised the Kongo but abandoned it when they only found diamonds. See: Zoe

2.15.4. Animals are crazy The reason why they behave so irrationally is because they never ever have anything to do. Everyone knows that such conditions of extreme boredom can only bring madness.

2.15.5. Zombie eloquence There is a possibility that zombies are really intelligent, but simply lack the means to express themselves. See: Brain tumour; Zoe

2.16. The body

2.16.1. Boobs The Brits have a fixation with them. Although they please in moderation, they do not appeal to me as much as a flat chest. See: Attractions Apparently, the average cup size is growing. May be natural selection. See: Feet

2.16.2. Feet I was told by a shoe seller that the average shoe size is increasing rapidly.

2.16.3. Conditions Pregnancy A weird condition, but beautiful. Apparently hormones give the woman an inner glow. Lol thinks pregnancies would be more exciting if you weren't quite sure of the life form it would result in. As regards both cravings and morning sickness, pregnancy would have nothing new to offer me. Coma It has been proven that comatised people's brains respond to what you say to them. How bad would you feel, physically, waking up from one? Brain tumour Known to me as "(self)loss". Symptoms include headaches, forgetfulness, balance loss, fainting, vomiting, verbal difficulties, etc. Ticks I twirl my hair manically to deal with stress. I always fear it will be interpreted as a flirting technique. Tourette's syndrome Hiccoughs I get them several times a day during stressful periods. Yawning They may well pretend to know why we do it, but they don't. I yawn when I'm tired, bored, nervous, insecure, cold, or when others do.

2.16.4. Hands They are strange little appendixes, when you think about it. I love my opposable thumbs. I read in a ghost story that you can tell a man from a woman by how they wash their hands. See: Sexism

2.17. Doorbells

2.17.1. If the person ringing the bell can hear it going off inside, would it not be simpler just to shout "hello"? See: Invenire

2.18. Left versus right

2.18.1. Similarly to "right" in English meaning the direction as well as "correct", the Latin word for "left" is "sinister". There is a deeply rooted culture of references wherein right is good and left bad. See: Other languages

2.18.2. You would expect countries writing from right to left to have a greater left-handed population, but they don't.

2.18.3. Crossing the street in Britain can be dangerous because you need to look right first. The British are stubborn when it comes to driving on the wrong side. Whenever I see "Look right" notices I always think of it in a fashion type of sense.

2.18.4. Left-wing and right-wing politics mean the same thing everywhere, but in the USA the left-wings are blue, and in Sweden they are red. Which makes sense as it is the communist colour.

2.19. Cravings

2.19.1. Human contact, skin-on-skin. Sometimes I ache for it.

2.19.2. Sugar: A sweet addiction. I have tried overcoming it by implementing alternating chocolate/chips weekends, but I know that, as always, I will blissfully relapse. I got my sweet tooth from my dad, apparently. Dad: "What shall we nash-nash today?" See: My children

2.19.3. Sometimes I get cravings for random foods I don't always even like. So far: orange juice, whipped cream, mushrooms, oat porridge. See: Pregnancy

2.19.4. Smokers are people who can't turn their detrimentality into something productive, like literature.

2.20. Animals

2.20.1. I don't like animals conceptually, just physically, as they are.

2.20.2. Squirrels run in a mezmerising way.

2.20.3. How interesting would it be to teach a parrot to sound like other animals.

2.21. Anthropology

2.21.1. What happened to the British vim? Somewhere along the way, they lost their will to conquer everything. It is ironic that people who used to have empires of certain kinds no longer are prominent in those domains, i.e. Britain is not the leading technological country, nor Italy the master of warfare. Most of their megalomania seems to have transformed into bad puns. Road sign: "Twenty's plenty!" The loss of the tea-and-bowler-hats culture is a sad one.

2.21.2. Britain practically has no forests, having cut them all down to fuel factories, and therefore there are no proper names for different types of mushrooms.

2.21.3. Germany used to have elks until the Germans shot them all. Now they go to Sweden and steal "warning - elk" signs.

2.21.4. I am shamefully ignorant of Indian culture and custom.

2.21.5. Swedishness Jantelagen "Don't think that you're anything special." Characteristic of the national spirit. Svensson A state of stagnation in heteronormative life; dull job, dull wife, two children, dog, house, car, never-ending routine and boredom.

2.22. Religion

2.22.1. Whether or not there is a god doesn't matter. The point that people's belief bring the matter to relevance, sort of like the borders we draw to separate countries, or naming colours.

2.22.2. There is no right or wrong. If someone does something, they are either convinced that it's right, or regret it later. Therefore I cannot believe that there is a God who is conscious or partial.

2.22.3. Anyone with a one-lane brain is annoying. Atheists definitely included. See: People who think they hold supreme truth; Religious fanatics of all creeds and nations

2.22.4. Judaism According to lore, since Jews are God's chosen people, he charges them like batteries with Holy Light of Life in the night, which means they don't really need to eat, sleep, or go in the sun to survive. At least to a strand of Jews, humans are incurably mischievous, and therefore instead of atoning we ought simply to try diluting our bad actions with good ones. The one religion I have felt drawn towards, but more for a sense of ethnic, marginal belonging than for the sake of a god. See: Descartes' demon

2.23. Celebritities

2.23.1. Russell Brand Say what you will, his honesty appeals to me. See: Falsehood

2.23.2. Lady GaGa I don't know her personally and I'm not that fond of her music, but her attitude motivates me. See: Clowns, jesters & mimes; Fashion

2.23.3. Stalin & Lenin I can't tell the difference between them, and I'd like to think there are few people who actually can. See: Jonfen

2.23.4. Monty Python It is wonderous that none of the Pythons have yet ascended to 'Sir'. See: The Beatles It is not an overestimation to say they have taught me most of what matters most to me today.

2.23.5. The Beatles Paul McCartney earned a title. The other Beatles did not. See: Monty Python Ringo is always picked on for no reason. I like him. He is modest. The cheeky cheeriness of the Beatles is so incredibly uplifting to me; they seem to have gathered the weight of performing professionally but light-heartedly that which matters. Salle: "But their lyrics don't MEAN anything." See: Distinguishing traits

2.23.6. John Lennon He was kind of a pig. Look at most of the Beatles' "love songs" he wrote and you will come to realise this. See: The Wall; People who think they hold supreme truth He is probably more of a saint image because he looked like one than for actually getting stuff done. Just look at Bob Geldof. See: Death glorifies Yoko filled his head with peace thoughts. But I think she ordered the killing. Neil Innes is pretty good at sounding like him.

2.23.7. People who pop up everywhere David Tennant, Ralph Fiennes, Imelda Staunton, Daniel Radcliffe, Brendan Gleeson, Richard Harris. Incidentally all from Harry Potter. Keith Lemon, since I discovered him.

2.24. Kiss of death

2.24.1. When a vegetarian kisses someone who has just eaten meat. I fear this.

3. Society

3.1. Conforming

3.1.1. Nora thought I should do it if it made me happier. See: Nora; Stupid things people do; Distinguishing traits

3.1.2. There is no such thing as normal. I appreciate that my friends acknowledge this, because otherwise they would not be friends with me.

3.2. Social networks

3.2.1. People just want to be noticed, don't they.

3.2.2. I'm already dogged by the FRA, I don't need more people to know what I'm up to.

3.2.3. There is usually a reason why you haven't been in touch with someone for fifteen years.

3.2.4. I'm at that point now where Facebook would probably be quite useful but I still refuse on principle. See: Non-conformity; Distinguishing traits

3.3. Health

3.3.1. Calories 1 Calorie = The amount of energy required to heat up 1 litre of water by 1C° at normal atmospheric pressure. You need them, and don't you forget it.

3.3.2. Going to gyms A method of marketing yourself. The energy created by the machines should be used to power them. See: Helping the world

3.4. Unhealth

3.4.1. The fattest woman on the planet had a baby. Did they have to dig to get it out? Fattest Woman Alive: 'I really like sitting down, I don't like moving.' See: Aspirations

3.4.2. People interested in Sci-Fi, Fantasy and RPG have an abnormally high percentage of people who are overweight, immature and/or lacking the cornerstones of hygiene. Unfortunately, they also have an abnormally high rate of awesome people.

3.5. The homeless

3.5.1. Whom does one pick to indulge in? They are a guilt-ridden subject.

3.5.2. Cardboard seems useful to them.

3.5.3. There is a critical point after about two weeks on the streets after which it becomes significantly harder to avoid long-term homelessness as people cease to look you in the eyes.

3.6. Culture

3.6.1. Difference between cultural works Books are indexed by author, albums by artists, but films not by director. Published written works have far higher status than unpublished ones, but in music this difference is not so great. See: Music

3.6.2. The Nobel Prize Who decides who gets them? Do you have to be a posh twat?

3.6.3. Niche markets Charles McIntosh specialised in chair design. Not a lot of competition in that business, I expect.

3.6.4. Music Musical instruments They seem to have their own life somehow. As with books, I would never destroy a musical instrument. I often wonder how they were invented. Musical conventions It is an odd ritual. Everyone seems to have a fixed idea of what music is supposed to be, but no one can really define what it is or why it makes us happy. Sex as portrayed in music is hilarious now and will be even more hilarious when future generations look for wisdom in our archives.

3.6.5. Books Overestimated literature Jane Eyre (except the crazy and the feminist bits). Heart of Darkness. Quite a bit of Joseph Heller. Twilight. Just the thought of it makes the academic in me cringe. Most written poetry, to be honest. Chick-lit and crime novels, with the exceptions of "Bridget Jones's Diary" and "Sherlock Holmes". "1984" (except the appendix on Newspeak, which makes me tingle in my socks). Seemingly overestimated writers Paulo Coelho, Haruki Murakami. Literary criticism Of course it's there if you look for it. It can't be that hard. Where do I sign up? Shakespeare's texts are pregnant material, not in themselves, but because so many people have read them so many times. Books are sacred Books are shrines of knowledge. They are still and composed, like saints. They will always be more hardcore than any other version of themselves. The Bible It's a good story book. I will soon be able to read it in four different languages. It's a shame they haven't made a novel adaptation of it, it would be a lot easier to read. All the numbers and red paragraphs put me off. I don't know which is greater out of my attachment to the physical format or the storytellings within.

3.6.6. Fashion It's insane. More insane than most ever anticipate. So enter the rally! Or don't. See: Marketing; Lady GaGa Second-hand retro dressers can look insanely good. But they also frighten me. It is hard to tell apart hipsters from people who are genuinely different. See: Most people who like the same things as me; Decisive people High heels They can make your calves shorter so you can't walk except on your toes. Even tall women wear high heels, but very few men ever do.

3.6.7. Popstardom Used here as a generic term for any group or individual of exaggerated fame, be it Hitler, Stephenie Meyer, Marilyn Monroe, the Beatles or Andy Warhol. Talent does not make you great. Circumstance makes you great. Once a fanbase is established, it is hard to get rid of. In fact, dying rather tends to intensify it. See: Death

3.7. Social conventions

3.7.1. Falsehood There is a certain degree of smoke and mirrors involved in all ways in which humans currently present themselves to each other; manipulating themselves to a pleasing image and thinking that this changes them. Hamlet: "Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come." See: Human nature; Fashion; Going to gyms; Sexism; Courtships

3.7.2. Queuing Evidently a British thing, but a Swedish even moreso. See: Things that make Nora angry Jonfen claims it's all about leaning so that your shoulders end up in front of as many people as possible. See: Jonfen The word "queue" is not very common in American English. See: Americanisms

3.7.3. How to hold cutlery and pens I was corrected as a child for the way I hold my pen. It angers me to this day, and I have not conformed. See: Conforming I cannot eat properly with a knife and fork. I blame this on my parents and dodgy fingers. My mother holds the knife and fork in the "wrong" hands.

3.7.4. Letter-writing A very pleasant and meditative method of communication that unfortunately has been largely forgotten. Also the secret services can't get to you half as easily.

3.7.5. Collecting things Being a clutterphobe, I disapprove. See: OCD

3.7.6. Hair Growth How can it grow only to a certain length? Cells die all the time. If the end of a hair was placed in a wound on the head that healed, it would grow in a circuit shape. Pigment Hair pigment, like eye pigment, seems to have no evident purpose from the perspective of evolution. Depression beards Depressed men who cannot gather the enthusiasm to shave grow depression beards, possibly to ask the world for sympathy. Buzzcut Haircut assumed by young, muscular Swedish men which usually makes them look quite arrogant and racist. I accept buzzcuts on certain grounds, however. Especially on women. Curly hair Looks best just out of bed on the third day after washing. Curliness possibly due to phosphor levels. Some aunts hate theirs. Apparently, 44% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously. Pubes They're there for a reason. You may leave them.

3.7.7. Dancing To me, it is nothing but an ancient, pagan joy ritual. If done with sincere feeling, it is a beauty to behold. Mostly, however, it is a courting show of feathers. See: Falsehood; Courting; Human nature; Music

3.7.8. Authorities We are all born equal, therefore others' manipulation of you against your will should not be accepted. I have a strong hatred for authorities in any form, including teachers, police and generally dominant/decisive people. I can never stand up to them, however, as the hatred commonly mingles with submissive fear. Therefore, I try to work in the dark. See: Decisive people; Mini project mayhem Regina Spektor: "People are just people; they shouldn't make you nervous."

3.7.9. Sexism If there is anything that really gets me angry nowadays it is the sexist customs which even I take part in without even thinking about it. See: Things I've changed my mind about Pi says that except for the obvious genitalial difference, body types vary more internally between women than between women and men. See: Pi

3.8. Money

3.8.1. It's really just paper and metal. Covent Garden Juggler: "It's just paint! That's all it is! Honest!"

3.8.2. People who have more money than they need do not like paying tax. I gladly pay it considering how it is repaid in libraries, healthcare, education, public transport, maintenance, etc. I do not gladly pay it so that it can fill the pockets of the Royal family. See: Collecting things

3.9. Busses

3.9.1. Bus drivers are probably suicidal. They seldom seem happy and they drive like lunatics. Faith, I will die falling on my way up a bus isle. A way to solve this would be making bus walls out of velcro. See: Professions A suitable replacement of buses altogether could be horse pools. Like car pools, but with horses. See: Invenire

3.9.2. Hailing and thanking the bus driver is primarily a British custom, with which I am hitherto unfamiliar.

3.9.3. The Glasgow First bus service's lack of punctuality was one of the causes why Nora left. See: Things that make Nora angry

3.9.4. Despite the obvious drawbacks, people should still strive to travel publicly as much as possible. See: Helping the world

3.9.5. Most British buses do not give change. This is treacherous and wrong since no human can be demanded to carry around that amount of coins.

3.10. Professions

3.10.1. Skinning sheep. An absurd pastime that results in sheep skin rugs. What is the difference between shearing and shaving? Is there really such a thing as a "sheep dip"?

3.10.2. Philosophers possibly have the most chilled-out profession so far discovered by man. See: Things that make Nora angry Nora: "They spend their lives doing nothing!"

3.10.3. Professors pretty much just seem to sit around in their offices all day. I can't for the life of me imagine what they spend their time doing unless it's some frowned-upon sexual activity. See: Philosophers

3.10.4. Doctors for some reason always pretend to be interested in your private life. See: Mindfuck

3.10.5. Olympic divers shave their armpits for aesthetical reasons; it cannot possibly affect friction. See: Body hair; Pubes; Razors

3.10.6. British builders are pretty much good for nothing. Fiona: "Workers in Glasgow are very work-shy." Diarmid:"All they seem to do is watching one of them stand on a ladder."

3.10.7. Ever since I read a book wherein a man sincerely thanked a cleaner for his excellent work, I have felt slightly guilty around them.