Sex Lies and Conversation

1. The ways of communication and listening differs between the genders, so much so its almost like a cultural difference.

1.1. The way men and women talk among themselves can be just as different as their ways of communication

1.1.1. When talking women and girls tend to go in length about one topic, issues they may have with mutual friends. And when talking about a problem they may have their friend would ask questions and show agreement and understanding.

1.1.2. For boys and men, when they are talking to each other they have a tendency to jump from topic to topic at random and so often. And when they are talking to each other about a problem they may be having or about their feelings they tend to respond by saying you shouldn't feel bad because your problems aren't so bad, someone else probably has it worse.

1.2. For women when they are talking they expect a steam of listener noises such as "mhm" or "uhuh" so that they are aware that you are listening and paying attention

1.3. For men its the polar opposite, listener noises for men are seen more as interruptions and that you have no interest. For men its better stay silent as to show that you are listening

2. Due to the differences of communication between men and women, a number of issues arise because of the simple lack of knowledge.

2.1. The relationships between boys is different than the relationships between girls. For boys bonds are made through doing things together rather than talking, because of this men don't know what kind of talk women want from then, and they don't miss it when its not there.

2.1.1. Because of this lack of communication that men aren't missing or seeing the need for more and more divorces are arising. In fact in an interview done by Catherine Riessman, most of the women interviewed said the reason for their divorce was a lack of communication.

2.2. There was a young woman in college who would get frustrated whenever she told her boyfriend that she wanted to talk to him, he would lay down, close his eyes, and put his arms over his face, because he did this, she would always get the impression that he was taking a nap and not listening to what she is saying.

2.2.1. The boyfriend would do this because he wanted to make sure he gave her his absolute attention and didn't want to seem like he wasn't paying attention if he was wondering around and looking all over so because he knew all of that and hew as aware of how distracted he gets he decided to start laying down and such so he could better concentrate on what she is saying.

2.2.1.1. Because they both started to grasp what the issue with each other was, they both started to make an effort on changing how they listened. She understood that him laying down and covering his face was him trying to give her all the attention possible. At the same time, because he understood that she would get upset, he started to try and sit up and look at her when she was talking.

3. The problem in all this is that there is a communication barrier between men and women, and its because of this barrier that more and more divorces are occurring and misfortunes.

3.1. The solution to all this is simple. As demonstrated by a woman in college and her boyfriend who were having issue with communication because while it seemed like the boyfriend wouldn't listen he was actually giving her his undivided attention. They talked about the issue, she understood that he did that to help himself pay attention and listen to what she is saying, and he understood how it seemed whenever he would lay down and covered his face so he put forth the effort to look at her and talk. The solution is talking with your partner and explain the issue you have so that you can work together to fix it.

3.2. Another solution is to help one another understand how you as a person are, and how learn over time the best way to communicate with one another.