1. 1- Love of Confrontation
1.1. 1- 1st thing 1st
1.1.1. “Why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? ... First get rid of the log from your own eye, then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye
1.1.2. Make sure you’re not guilty of the same thing.
1.2. 2- Avoid conflict
1.2.1. Before you ever confront anybody in love, you check your motives.
1.2.2. If you don’t want a relationship, you don’t do it. You just avoid it.
1.3. 3- Resolve conflict
1.3.1. Prepare
1.3.1.1. Love takes corage
1.3.1.2. Confront only people that you want to be close to.
1.3.1.3. Check your motivation
1.3.1.3.1. You start with the correct motivation. What is the right motive? To help, not to hurt.
1.3.1.3.2. Helping
1.3.1.3.3. Not hurting
1.3.2. Plan your presentation
1.3.2.1. Plan when you’ll say it.
1.3.2.1.1. Peson's Condition
1.3.2.2. Plan what you’ll say.
1.3.2.2.1. Your message
1.3.2.2.2. Illustration
1.3.2.2.3. Introduction
1.3.2.3. Plan how you’ll say it.
1.3.2.3.1. Plan you communication
1.3.2.3.2. Strategy
1.4. 4- Create conflict
1.4.1. Get close
1.4.1.1. If you never confront anyone, you’re never going to be close to anyone. Because closeness only comes through conflict and confrontation. We talked about this so many times, but let’s review it again.
1.4.1.2. Why we hesitate to stop a Friend from stepping in to trouble?
1.5. 5- The tunnel of truth.
1.5.1. In the tunnel of truth,
1.5.1.1. You deal with all the issues of the relationship you really don’t want to deal with. “Let’s push that aside... Let’s not talk about that... Let’s have happy smiles…” You push it down. But in the tunnel of truth, you have chaos, you have conflict and you have confrontation.
1.5.2. Not fun
1.5.2.1. When you leave a shallow relationship and say, “We’re going to take this relationship to a new level,” and you go into that tunnel of truth, it’s going to scare you to death. It’s dark, it’s dank, it’s scary. Sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it can get a little loud.
1.5.3. Middle of the conversation
1.5.3.1. Everything in your body in the middle of the conversation says, “Let’s just back out to the shallow side and smooth over it and stay out. It’s a whole lot easier. Let’s just preserve the status quo, and don’t rock the boat.
1.5.4. Stay in
1.5.4.1. ” But if you will stay in that tunnel of truth and deal with those issues and come to some compromise, deal with some issues in a person’s life that need to be confronted, you will eventually come up on the other side into genuine intimacy.